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GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… Attention

Are You Certain Beyond A Doubt That You Have The Person’s Attention When You Deliver Your Message?

What ways are you certain that you have the person’s attention before sharing your message in your conversation?

What are some ways the person you are communicating with can gain your attention before sharing his or her message with you?

Have you ever found yourself in the following situation…

You’re sharing an important message while the person you are talking to is deeply focused on their television program.

Have you ever communicated to that person while you’re both in different rooms?

How about trying to share an important message during the morning rush?

If yes, then you most likely also have encountered communication breakdowns during these situations.

While you might have something important to say during the TV program, the person who is engrossed in the program might respond with ‘yes’ or ‘okay’ to shush you so that they can quickly listen and immediately continue watching their program.

Unless you both have super-duper hearing, words and messages can be missed which can cause misunderstandings and frustrations.

You might have an important message to pass on in the morning, but let’s be honest, neither of you are really interested because you just want to make sure you arrive at work on time and you’re thinking of your to-do list once you arrive at your workplace.

So, you’re probably think by now…what can I do to avoid or reduce communication breakdown due to lack of attention?

Glad you asked.

Here are some suggestions…

If you have an important message to share while they’re watching a television program you can either wait for it to finish or you can call the person’s name, mute the tv, and share your message. Depending on the program, the person may not be too happy if you mute the TV so you can also write it down, so you don’t forget and share it afterwards.

If you are in separate rooms either you actively walk to the person you want to talk to, or the person comes to you, so you don’t have to try to hear the words or messages through the wall. This way you can clearly hear each other’s words and messages in your conversation.

As for the morning rush, try to avoid sharing any important messages during that time. Try to share important messages at night when there is time or wake up early, so you have 10-15 minutes to spare to share any important messages in the morning.

Here are a couple of tips. These two tips might help you and the person you are communicating with to make sure that the message has been received and understood in your communication.

Tip #1 Repeat or Paraphrase

This will help both parties involved in the communication to know that the message was received and understood.

Tip #2 Clarify and Repeat or Paraphrase back (if needed)

If any information that was incorrect or unclear, this will give the person sharing the information to clarify and the person receiving the message to repeat or paraphrase back to make sure that all the messages received are clear and understood.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you want to deliver your message with proper attention with the person you are communicating with, just remember these two tips:

Tip #1 Repeat or Paraphrase

Tip #2 Clarify and Repeat or Paraphrase back (if needed)

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

Attention | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

Before we get into today’s topic, I want to do another quick review of what each of the letter stands for in the word COMMUNICATES that we have discussed so far in the videos. So the letter C in the word communicates stands for Confidence. The letter O stands for Opinion, the letter M stands for Messages, the letter M stands for Monitor feelings, the letter U stands for Uncovering misunderstandings, the letter N stands for Nurture feelings, the letter I stands for Ideas, the letter C stands for Cherish relationships, and then the letter A, which is what we’re gonna be talking about is Attention.

So let me ask you this, how many of you that are watching this video, have a habit of either giving the directions or asking a question, while the person you are speaking to is doing something else? And that could be watching TV, doing chores, getting ready to do cooking or getting ready for work or getting ready to do whatever it is to prepare for that day’s activity, or the next day’s activity, or you guys are in two separate rooms in the house. So you could be in the kitchen, the other person could be, say, in the bedroom, or you could be upstairs and the other person is downstairs.

Whatever it is, how many of you have actually talked to somebody asking them a question or giving them some directions while that person is not fully engaged? In other words, you really don’t have that person’s attention. Because if you had that person’s attention, that means that they’re looking at you, they’re focused on you and what you are saying to them or asking them.

So, if you have the habit, and many of us do, including me, we sometimes forget and we are just engrossed, in what we need to do. And so we might give the directions, or we might ask a question to that person without fully having that person’s attention. And then later on, when we ask them, did you do this or you get a response that doesn’t relate to your question, then we become upset at that person, when in reality, it really isn’t that other person’s fault, because we never had their attention.

So if you want to make sure that you have that person’s attention, then either one, wait until that person was finish watching their TV or whatever they are doing. Because a lot of the times when you’re telling them something like please remember to do X,Y and Z. So just take out the chicken out of the freezer. Or remember to pick up the groceries, whatever the items might be. And the person because they’re so engrossed in their program or engrossed in their activity. They just want to kind of get rid of you as soon as possible. So they’re like kind of waving you off going, “yeah,yeah, I got it, I got it, okay!” You know, so that they can kind of go back to their program. And so a little later on, you come home, like say, you know, a few hours later, and you see that the chicken is still in the freezer. And you ask them, “Didn’t I tell you to take the chicken out of the freezer?” And they might give you a look like, “Oh, I heard something about that, but I wasn’t really paying attention.” And, um, or they might say, “No, I didn’t hear you say anything about that.” And it’s like, yeah, I told you and– and they’re like, “Well, I didn’t hear you.” And it’s true, like, they probably didn’t, because again, they were engrossed in their own program.

So yes, communication, not only just words and body language and all of that. Part of good communication, having effective communication, is also making sure that you have that person’s attention. And you can do that by either turning off the TV, or muting the TV sound, so that way you can call their name, then you now have their attention. And, and you can now say to them, I need you to do this or ask them the question. So you get the correct response that you’re looking for.

If you’re in separate rooms or are upstairs, downstairs, whatever it is, either walk to that person, or call that person so that they are coming towards where you are located, so that you can properly discuss with them what it is that you need. The other is, so perhaps during the morning rush, you’re getting yourself ready or the kids ready. Everybody’s just getting themselves ready in the morning. And so you might have been on the past by saying “Oh, don’t forget to do X,Y and Z.” And the person is like, “okay,” and then grabs their keys and out the door they go.

So one of the things that you can do is before you let that person grab their keys and go, just say, “repeat back what I just said.” So one, you can get a quick clarity that they actually heard. And when you also get the repeat back, you also can make sure that they got not only the clarity, but everything that you had mentioned, or they can paraphrase. So at least this way, it not only gives you a peace of mind that yes, they got your message, but it also reinforces what the person has to do. Because now they got the focus back again, because they got clear. And they also know– it also reinforces that memory of what they need to do. So during a morning rush, it’s always good, just not to let the person leave, just say “Hey, real quick, tell me real quick, what I just said,” you know, and “I don’t have time,” “just real quick,” you know, a word or two, whatever it is, like, you know, “you said pick up dry cleaning to that person, don’t forget to pick up the dry cleaning” all the person says “Okay, pick up dry cleaning,” or they could just say “dry cleaners.” Sufficient. You know that you need to do something with a dry cleaner, something of that sort. So again, one, they are clear, you heard, you know, they heard you clearly, as well as reinforcing some of their memory of what they need to do after work or whatever it is, because now it brought back the focus, and helps them to remember what it is that needs to be done.

So that is one of the tips for Attention as far as during the morning rush. Clarity, and repeat or paraphrase. Now I– the tips for Attention itself is making sure that you Mute the TV or turn off the TV and the person is watching TV. So you’re limiting distractions that could be the radio, whatever it is that you’re calling that person’s name, they’re looking at you, you got their focus. The other is making sure you guys are in the Same Room. So either you go to them, you call them so that you bring them to you. So you guys are located in the same room, so you got the attention. So because if you don’t have their attention, there’s not going to be communication, you’re going to have what we call then the communication breakdown. Because you don’t have that person’s attention. And communication starts, especially when speaking to another person or to a group, you need to have that person or the group’s attention and their focus.

So, I hope you found these tips to be helpful. Feel free to share any comments. And again, if I only ask that if you do share any comments or suggestions that you’d be kind, supportive, and respectful. If you would like to learn more about how you can create and develop more of an effective and effortless communication in your own personal communication relationship, please feel free to visit my website at GraceSOULutions.com That’s GraceSOULutions.com to see how you can book a free Communication Breakthrough session with me. Thank you for being here. I look forward to seeing you here again next time.

Take care, bye for now.

Deep Dive on Cherishing Relationships | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace, and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So, in today’s video, we are going to do a Deep Dive on Cherishing Relationships in your communication. A couple of weeks ago, I gave you some tips on cherishing relationship and your communication.

So just a quick recap, I invited you to take on that “you are 100% responsible in your relationship,” and in this case in your communication. And I also then gave you my take on cherishing relationship using the acronym WORDS. So today we’re going to talk a little bit more about what WORDS stand for.

So real quick, the letter W stands for Wisdom. And what I think about it is that, you know, words have power. So, there’s two ways you can think about wisdom; using your words wisely, since words have power, or using your wisdom, to share, to educate, with other people, so that everybody can get the benefit from your wisdom. So that’s my take on the word wisdom there. Again, words have power, so knowing what words to use. So again, using your words wisely, and then also wisdom, you have plenty of wisdom. So, you know, be sure to share and educate others with your wisdom, so that everybody can get the benefit.

Now, the letter O, for me means Open, and I left it open, because depending upon the situation, or the person you’re speaking with, there– you might need to be willing just to be open, open minded, or open to just to listen, again, not respond and not react, but just to listen. Be open just to listen to the to the person all the way through before, perhaps, sharing your opinion. So again, open, open to opinions. So, O can also be Observation, you observe the situation. And then you can decide how you want to proceed. And the communication based on the observation you made. So O, it’s just Open, again, is just open minded. It can be open to listening, it can be open to opinions, and it can be O, for observation.

And then R means Responsibility. And again, it means to be willing to take on that you are 100% responsible in your relationship, and in your relationship to how you communicate to yourself and in the relationship in how you communicate with others. So, if everyone is willing to take on that responsibility, then perhaps the communication then can move forward in more of a constructive way, as a learning opportunity rather than a destructive way. So, we want the communication to be constructive. So, if everyone is willing to take on that each person is 100% responsible in the relationship, including communication, then that means that each person is willing to do what it takes in the communication, whether it’s compromise, whether it’s just to listen or to just be there, whatever it is, so that the communication can be constructive.

And then the letter D for WORDS stands for Deliberate. That means be mindful of the words you are saying. Be mindful of your facial expression, body language, tone of voice that you are using in your communication. Be deliberate so that the person can understand what it is that you are communicating to them. So again, be mindful. That’s being deliberate, when you’re being mindful you are being deliberate in your delivery by their words. Your tone of voice body language facial expressions.

And then S, the letter S in WORDS stands for Speak. So many times, and myself included, sometimes, you know, we might tend to speak at the person rather than to the person. So, you know, let’s speak to the person and not at the person. That means not speaking behind the person’s back, not speaking on top of the other person by interrupting them, not letting them finish. So, let’s learn all together, every one of us, myself included, to speak to each other and not at each other. So that’s my take on how to cherish relationships, and communication. If you would like to learn more about how you can create and develop more of a effortless effective communication in your personal communication, then please feel free to visit my website, GraceSOULutions.com.

That’s GraceSOULutions.com  to see how you can book a free Communication Breakthrough Session with me. I look forward to seeing you here again next time. Thank you for being here. Take care. And if there are any tips or suggestions you would like to share, please feel free to do so I only ask that you when you’re sharing or posting or commenting that it is respectful, kind and supportive.

And so thank you for being here. Take care. Bye for now!

GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… CHERISH Relationships

What does cherishing relationship mean to you in regards to communication?

What ways do you cherish relationships with the people you communicate with?

What ways do you feel the people you communicate with cherish relationship with you?

In one of the trainings I attended, there was a speaker, Jeremy Daniel, who once said,

“You are 100% responsible for your relationship.”

You might agree or disagree with this statement.

Just realize that you can choose to have a good relationship or not. So, in a way you are responsible for your relationship. If you believe that you have a choice and you have control over having a good relationship or not, then you are and can be 100% responsible for your relationship.

Being responsible for your relationship and wanting to have a good relationship because you cherish it with specific people takes work.

Anytime you have to take care of something, or someone means you have to nurture it and make sure it’s effectively taken care of.

In one of my previous blog articles, I talked about nurture feelings and tips to nurture feelings in your communication. Nurture feelings is one of the ways to cherish relationships.

You show you cherish relationships by the words you use.

Think about what words you say in your communication when you are happy, sad, anxious, angry…

Are the words kind or critical and unconstructive?

Does the conversation you have with a person often lead to arguments? Why? Is it due to the lack of nurturing and the words being said within the conversation?

You can show the people you communicate with that you cherish relationship by having more constructive communication through nurturing and word choice.

Here are five tips that you can use that might help to show that you cherish relationship through words in your communication:

 

Tip #1 W-Wisdom

Your words have power so use it wisely. Use your wisdom when sharing your words.

Tip #2 O-Open

Be open to listening without judgement or the need to respond or reply. Validate what the other person has said by repeating it. It doesn’t mean you agree or disagree with what they said, it just means that you listened and heard.

Tip #3 R-Responsible

You are 100% responsible for your relationship. You have a choice in the words you say and the ways you nurture your relationships.

Tip #4 D-Deliberate

Be mindful of the words that are being spoken. Know the exact words you are saying and don’t just say the words that come into your head, especially during heated arguments.

Tip #5 S-Speak

Speak to each other not at each other. Allow each person to speak and finish his or her statement so no one is interrupted. Use a timer if necessary.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you want show that you cherish relationship in your communication, just remember WORDS.

Wisdom

Open

Responsible

Deliberate

Speak

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

Cherish Relationships | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So in this video, I am going to be sharing tips about Cherishing Relationships in your communication. Couple of months ago, I talked about nurturing feelings and your communication, that is part of cherishing relationship. However, in this video, I’m talking about being responsible in your relationship.

So a while ago, I attended a webinar and one of the speakers, his name was Jeremy Daniels, he made a statement. And he said, “You are 100% responsible for your relationship.” Now you can agree or disagree with his statement, however, I am going to invite you to agree with the statement that you are 100% responsible in your relationship in your communication towards yourself and others.

Because if you are willing to take on that you are 100% responsible in your relationship, and how you communicate. What you say can make a big difference in your relationship to yourself and others. Think about the words that you say to yourself, the thoughts that you have towards yourself, and also towards others. And if you are willing to be 100% responsible, then you– that means that you are willing to take on the task of doing all the necessary activities that will help your communication to be constructive and more in a positive learning aspect towards yourself and with others. So if you are willing to be responsible, also realize that the person that you’re speaking to, it could be another person or to a group of people, each of those people that you are speaking to, must also be willing to take on the task that they are 100% responsible for the relationship. Because if the person that you’re speaking to is not willing to take on the responsibility of that 100%– responsibility of the relationship, then you’re going to have conflict. You might be willing to meet that person halfway or be willing to compromise and do whatever it takes, because you feel you are 100% responsible in that relationship.

So, you are willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that the relationship is built up. However, if the person you are speaking to or the group of people you’re speaking to, is not willing to take on the 100% responsibility in relationship, he or she or the group is not going to necessarily be willing to meet you halfway or do what it takes. Because the blaming might happen, or the person might step away, shut down.

And so, then there’s not going to be any movement, in that conversation. So if each person is willing to take on, that he or she is 100% responsible in the communication for building relationship, then each person is going to be willing to do what it takes, perhaps that’s to compromise, or being mindful of what is being said, you know, careful of the body gestures or facial expressions, whatever it might be, so that their conversation can continue to move forward in a constructive way.

So, I also like to think about cherishing relationship using the acronym WORDS. Now I’m just going to talk real quick about what each of the letters mean. And then in the next video, I’ll deep– I’ll do a little bit more of a deep dive explaining what each of those components are. So just real quick, for me, cherishing relationship is all about words.

So using the acronym WORDS, I broke down the tips to help maintain and cherish the relationship in your communication. So starting with the letter W in WORDS, W stands for wisdom. The letter O, in WORDS stands for Open, and I’ll go into more details about my meaning of the word open. And then the letter R in WORDS stands for Responsibility. Again, it means you are willing to take on that you are 100%, responsible, in the relationship. And in this case, the relationship in your communication. The letter D in WORDS stands for Deliberate. And then the letter S in WORDS stands for Speak. And again, I will go more in details about what all of these words that I just said, what they actually all mean. What wisdom means what the open the– and I talked a little bit about responsibility, what being deliberate means, and what do I mean by speak? So, be sure to check that out in a couple of weeks of the deep dive into cherishing relationship, in your communication to learn more about the acronym WORDS.

And in the meantime, if you found the tips to be helpful, and you would like to know more about how you can have effective and effortless communication in your personal communication, please feel free to visit my website, GraceSOULutions.com. That’s GraceSOULutions.com. To learn more about how you can book a free communication breakthrough session with me. And I look forward to seeing you here again next time.

Take care. Thank you for being here. Bye for now!

Deep Dive on Sharing Ideas | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace, and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips. So today we’re doing a Deep Dive on Sharing Your Ideas. And then in the last video, I talked about ideas, and cultivating, you know, planning, doing all the necessary actions, whatever you can do to help to bring your idea into reality. And not all ideas are going to work. Of course, just like when you’re planting, in the last video, I talked about the sunflower.

So it’s just like when the sunflower or sometimes you can do all the necessary steps and everything but the sunflower may just not grow or grow very short. So– and that can happen with your ideas, and it may just become a reality somewhat, but then at the same time, the– some of your ideas may not become a reality at all, and that’s okay. It’s not a bad– it was not because it was due to a bad idea, or something that you could have done, or should have done better or anything like that. It’s just some ideas are not meant to be just like sometimes, plants and flowers just are not meant to grow. So, and just realize that you know just because one idea didn’t work doesn’t mean another idea won’t work, right? Another idea might come to you and then in that case that idea might become a reality. And it actually turned out to be better then what you had originally wanted the idea to work. So again, I like to view it as no idea is a bad idea or stupid idea or an idiotic idea, right?

So I gave three tips when regarding to ideas, it’s see no stupid, hear no stupid, speak no stupid, right? Because what you see is not stupid. What you hear is not stupid when what you say is not stupid. It just may not be the right idea. And it’s not because, again, it’s a stupid idea. It’s just something else may come along that’s better or some– and some other ideas may keep popping up that just doesn’t work. And but then later on you find a way to make it work.

And speaking of which, by the time you watch this video, the next day will be my husband’s birthday. So speaking about ideas, I am now thinking of ideas to celebrate my husband’s birthday. And there have been some ideas that I’ve had in the past that did not work. Now it wasn’t a stupid idea. But it just didn’t work. Given my husband’s personality and everything. So one idea that I had way back when, I took my husband to a restaurant called The Melting Pot. Now if you’ve ever been to a Melting Pot well then you know it’s like a fondue thing. And the atmosphere is nice, it’s very lovely. And– but it’s a fondue restaurant where you basically cook some of your own meal they give you a pot, you have cheese and you know oil for the for the meat and vegetables that cheeses were the bread and some of the vegetables and then the chocolate for like the dessert and stuff and you also get a salad. Well, I took my husband to the Melting Pot for a nice birthday meal and of course I paid for our meal. And you know I was working at that time as you know speech therapist in the hospital, so I was paid very well and treated my husband to the Melting Pot. Well later on down the line my husband has found the receipt for The Melting Pot and when he saw it, he’s like you we– you paid how much for this meal? It’s it he was appreciative that was a nice meal, but he goes why would you want to pay this amount of money when, you know, to cook your own food? You know we you could have easily gotten all the ingredients cooked a meal at home and we could have been could have had a nice birthday meal at home. Pay much less than going to a restaurant. But I understand and it’s not that my husband is frugal, but he’s economical. And I can understand that while he did enjoy, and we both did enjoy eating at The Melting Pot. Please understand, nothing against The Melting Pot. I would personally like to go there again. Perhaps with a group of friends, like girlfriends or what have you. Or even take my mom or something because we enjoy those type of ambience and all that stuff, where– but my husband just can’t fathom of paying that amount of money to cook your own food. So that his way of thinking now that’s his, you know, idea of you know, where money is better spent, right? So it’s not a bad idea, again, not a stupid idea. And going to The Melting Pot when I took him for, you know, a meal, I didn’t feel it was a stupid idea or bad idea. Now, some of you might say, Yeah, you know, you could have saved money, you could have gone to something, some other places that will be a far better place. And let me be a little bit cheaper or what have you.

Everybody has their own ideas, right? And the whole idea is, you might have from your own experience, someplace you would recommend or go to that might be a little bit better. Or some of you might say, Yeah, I’ve been to The Melting Pot. I’ve been there very few times, or so many times, whatever it may be, and say it’s well worth it, you know, to kind of spoil yourself, right? So everybody has that idea. And it’s all different. And that’s good. That’s what makes it interesting. Because obviously, there are some people that do enjoy going to those fondue restaurants, otherwise, there wouldn’t be any Melting Pot restaurants. Obviously, you know, some people do enjoy that. And so the people that go to experience it and have a great experience, and the people that came up with that idea, obviously are also making some profit. So what might sound like a bad idea, to one person might actually be a good idea to, to another person. So that’s why I say there are no bad ideas, no stupid ideas, right? That’s why I keep stressing about that. So again, I always come with a mindset when regarding to ideas, because it’s so individualized in some ways, that it’s all about, you know, seeing no stupid hearing no stupid and speaking, no stupid. So, I now know one idea that is not going to work to celebrate my husband’s birthday. What does work usually as having some close family or friends, to have a nice meal with them. You know, my husband can celebrate his birthday. Now, his family is obviously away in Scotland. So I’m hoping that perhaps one day, we can get onto a video call and have my husband meet and talk to his family over the video. And, of course, not as good as person to person. But at least everybody can kind of see each other. So I’ve been trying to work on that for a while. But because of the time differences and everybody’s own schedule, and everything we’ll have to see.

So anyway, so that is all about sharing ideas in communication. And again, don’t feel like you have to share your ideas, if you don’t want to with the other person. But if you do share your ideas, don’t be embarrassed by your idea. And the person– and the person who is listening to the idea. Don’t be so quick to judge whether an idea is good or bad, right? Perhaps there are some good questions, you know, that you might be thinking about. And you could certainly ask that person, you know, about certain aspects of it, that the first– than the other person may not have thought off. However, with the, you know, brainstorming, the sharing and everything. It can make the idea maybe even better, so we can make that into a reality. Again, come with a mindset of there’s no bad ideas, no stupid ideas. And when you’re hearing an idea come with a mindset of being no stupid ideas, no bad ideas, that everybody can just have this freedom of brainstorming to help each other to bring the idea hopefully into reality to benefit all.

Alright, so I hope you enjoyed today’s deep dive on sharing ideas in communication. If you have any ideas or suggestions or anything you would love to share, then please feel free to do so I only ask that you are respectful, kind and supportive. And if you would like to know more about me Here’s what I do, please feel free to visit my website at GraceSOULutions.com That’s GraceSOULutions.com so that you can book a free session strategy session with me on Communication Breakthrough to help you develop a more effective and effortless communication in your personal communication. So, thank you for being here. I look forward to seeing you here again next time. Take care. Bye for now.

Share Ideas | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips. So today’s video is all about Sharing Ideas in your communication. And as you can see, I have a sunflower on my shirt. And that’s why I’m stepping away a little bit today. And there’s a reason for that. So before I talk about or get into the tips of sharing your ideas in communication, I wanted to start with this analogy first.

So when you’re thinking about planting, in this case, a sunflower, you’re going to start off with having a seed. And you’re going to take all the necessary actions to plant the seed so that you can grow the sunflower. So you have the seed, you know, you want to grow the sunflower, so you got the sunflower seed, you planted it into nice soil, you’re watering it, you’re making sure it has enough sunlight, and then hopefully, the sunflower will then grow. Now, you know, in some situations, you might take good care of the soil, you take care of everything, you do all the necessary actions, but perhaps either the sunflower might grow short, or it might not grow at all. And in some situations, some plants and I’m not sure how fast sunflowers grow. But I know like in the case of a bamboo, it takes about five years for the bamboo to start to sprout, till you start to see the little leaves of it. So that’s the idea of planting and growing, say, a plant, and in this case, a sunflower. So now let us stepping closer so you can see me. And it’s the same kind of idea as the idea.

So you know, think about how many ideas may have popped into your head, right? Your mind is like your garden, and you’re not going to plant every idea that comes into your mind. But you– so you’re gonna pick and choose the ideas that you will like, for the idea to grow and become fruitatious. So you have the idea. And you plant the idea that you want in your mind, which is in this case, your garden. And then you start to do all the necessary actions, strategies, whatever it might be, to help the idea grow and become a reality. And in some cases, you might do everything correct and do all the necessary steps. But the idea might be very small, or it may not come into reality. It’s up to you whether or not you want to share your ideas. And just knowing that, in some cases, when you share an idea, you’re going to get feedback. And some of those feedback might be negative. And some of those feedback might be positive, as well as– as you’re doing the process of making your reality or making your idea become a reality. Then you’re also receiving feedback of what’s working and not working at the same time.

So as you are working through the process of the idea, and you’re gaining these feedback, sometimes because the feedback might be negative, just, you know, to help to think about it as I did, you know, brainstorming and everything. And that aspect, don’t try to put all of the process and everything into a negative pot, where then you just say, “Well, I’m just gonna give up on this idea, because obviously, it’s not going to work,” right? So if you’re aware of like the three monkeys where they have like, “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.” I like to use that same type of concept or that– those tips into sharing your idea. And again, whether or not you share your idea to others, you are still always gaining feedback as you’re working through the process. And just realize that some of the steps you do may not help with the idea of becoming a reality. However, that doesn’t mean it’s a stupid step, or that you have a stupid idea. So think of all your ideas as brainstorming. And don’t think of it as you know, “oh, this is a stupid or idiotic idea.” So this is where I like to say when– when it comes to ideas, there are the idea of see no stupid, hear no stupid and speak no stupid, right? I like to say all ideas are just brainstorming. There are no stupid ideas, there might be some ideas that are a bit risky and a bit dangerous. However, if you ask the right questions, you might be able to then counteract and figure out what the safety measures might be.

But if the idea doesn’t come into reality at all, it was never the fact that the idea was stupid. It might just be the fact that, in this case, the idea just was not meant for you. And perhaps a new idea comes along, and is a better one. So again, with any ideas with any planning process, again, it’s come with a mindset that it’s all brainstorming. It’s not about hearing stupid, speaking stupid or seeing stupid. There’s no– again, no such thing as stupid ideas. No such thing as hearing stupid ideas, and no such thing as seeing stupid ideas. It’s all about feedback and working through it. So whatever you can do to help the idea become a reality. And if we can all do that cooperatively, think of how many ideas we can get out there that would benefit others and yourself. And again, if there’s some danger involved or risk involved, well, these are certainly the time to ask some questions, so that you can figure out a way of making it safer.

So I hope you found this to be helpful. Please feel free to share any of your suggestions regarding to sharing your ideas, would love to hear any comments or suggestions that you have. All I ask is that you be respectful, kind and supportive.

If you would like to know more about me and what I do, please feel free to visit my website at Grace SOULutions.com, that’s GraceSOULutions.com. And I look forward to seeing you here again next time at Sensitive Communication Tips. Bye for now. Take care!

GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… IDEAS

What are some ideas that have sparked in your mind?

What ideas that you have or have not openly shared?

What are great ideas that you have recently come up with?

Why do you choose to share or not share your ideas?

In one of my previous blogs articles, I mentioned talking about and sharing opinions.

You might be asking what is the difference between opinions and ideas?

In my view, opinions are about topics that can have many different viewpoints that can be debated. Whereas ideas are about brainstorming and coming up with different options or solutions to solve a problem.

Sometimes you are willing to share your ideas and sometimes you might not feel so comfortable in sharing.

Why is that?

Is it due to fear? Fear that people might think your idea is stupid? Maybe that you think your idea is stupid?

Here’s the thing: there are no stupid ideas!

Think about all the inventions and activities that we now have. I am sure at one point someone thought that these ideas were stupid. However, many of the stupid ideas have been lucrative.

Need some examples or proof that there is no such thing as a stupid idea?!

Bungee jumping.

Who came up with the idea of bungee jumping? Who thought that it would be a good idea to tie your feet together with a big rubber band (elastic cord), jump over a great height so you can bounce back up, and keep bouncing up and down until all the kinetic energy dissipates?

Doesn’t that activity sound dangerous? It doesn’t seem like such a good idea when it comes to life and safety, and might you even say: stupid? But it can’t be all that stupid when you think about it.

And yet…There are people who are willing to pay to bungee jump and you can practically find a place that offers bungee jumping no matter where you live.

Electricity.

Who needed electricity when there were candles? People used candles to help them to see in the dark and they had animals such as horses to help them with large machinery.

Thomas Edison thought it would be a great idea to invent the light bulb and early electricity. I am sure there were many people during his lifetime that thought he was stupid for wanting to invent the light bulb when they already had tools to help them to see and do their daily chores.

And yet…look at us today! Where would we be if it wasn’t for Thomas Edison? I don’t know about you, but whenever my power goes out, I realize all things I can’t do and how much electricity is needed.

What I wanted to show you with these examples is that there are no stupid ideas. I am sure at one point these ideas were perceived as stupid and yet here they are for people to enjoy.

Of course, whether you choose to share your ideas is up to you. However, don’t let the fear of thinking that your idea might be stupid prevent you from sharing your idea.

Here are three tips that that might help you to feel comfortable with sharing your ideas in your communication:

 

Tip #1 See No Stupid: There are no stupid ideas (maybe some dangerous ideas or think twice ideas and yeah it didn’t work out ideas, but with some tweaking it could or did work ideas)

Some ideas may not work, but that doesn’t mean it was a stupid idea.

Tip #2 Speak No Stupid: Someone might have said ‘that’s stupid’, and yet…

At one point someone might have thought that an idea was stupid; however, think of how many of those stupid ideas came to fruition and became very lucrative.

Tip #3 Hear No Stupid: Sharing ideas is brainstorming

Sharing ideas simply means that you are brainstorming and coming up different options and solutions to solve a problem. When you brainstorm you are allowing the ideas to flow without judgement until there is no more to share.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you want to share your ideas in that communication context, just remember these three tips: See, Speak, Hear No Stupid.

Tip #1 See No Stupid

Tip #2 Speak No Stupid

Tip #3 Hear No Stupid

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

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Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

Deep Dive on Nurture Feelings | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi, this is Grace and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So today’s video is a deep dive on nurturing feelings. Nurturing feelings of how you talk to yourself, as well as how you talk to others. In the last video, I gave you the acronym, GENTLE, which are each of the tips to help you to nurture the feelings, whether it be you talking to yourself or towards others.

And so some of the tips in the word GENTLE are self explanatory. So for example, G means be Gracious, be kind. So we have a lot of vocabulary words, and you are well aware that some vocabulary words are positive, promote good positive feeling, where other words may promote more of a negative feelings. However are those words are also necessary. But if you use them in a constructive way, a can be used more in a positive messaging, and which nurtures good feelings, whether it be you talking to yourself or to others.

So that leads to Expression in the word GENTLE, expression. Again, in the last video, I talked about how you can use it in a constructive way, rather than in a destructive way. So again, you know, a destructive way might be like, “oh, gosh, I’m such an idiot,” or I, or “oh, gosh, you’re such an idiot for making that mistake.” So again, not helpful, but in a constructive way, you can express your thoughts feelings, again, but in a nurturing way, where it’s constructive. So you might say, you know, “oh, you know, I made this mistake, because I was multitasking, I know better, I, you know, should just focus on one task, take my time with this. And then this would not have happened.” Or talking to another person, you could say, you know, “next time, just focus on this.” And then once when you finish this, then go ahead and work on this. Or, also double check your answer or something. So that it is in a constructive, it’s still firm, not overly aggressive, and known of the real words, that would make the person feel bad.

And then the next step was N, for Nourish, and it means to nourish your mind, body, spirit. So you know, if your mind, body, and spirit is healthy, by you know, having good positive thoughts, feeding your body with good nutritious food, getting plenty of rest and exercise, then you’re going to have a good mind, body, spirit balance, which is going to help reduce stress. Because a lot of times the reason we blow up, and we forget about using good calm voice or positive words, or all of that is because usually if we’re under stress, or we’re feeling overwhelmed, we just want to blow up. So if we are well nourished, in our thoughts, and our body, and our spirit, then we are going to be able to reduce the stress, which will also help us to be more calm, and you know, to talk more positively, more constructive way towards ourselves, as well as towards others.

And then T* I talked about Timeout. So again, pretty self explanatory, you know, just taking nice, deep breaths, to step away from situations at times, because a lot of the times if you’re going to push, push, push, push, push, it’s like pushing against a brick wall, it’s never going to move. So sometimes if you just take some nice deep breaths, you’re getting the, you know, oxygen to the brain. And you’re also able then to calm down, and you might be able to see things differently. And so instead of pushing against the wall, you might see an opening, where you can walk around the wall and get to the other side. And that might be having the other person see your point of view, or it might be you realizing it’s not so important if that person doesn’t see our point of view, as long as we know what we’re doing and what we’re thinking. And so we might just say, “You know what, this might not be worth the argument.” So, taking time out, just again, stepping away, taking some deep, some nice deep breaths will help.

And then L. I mentioned in the last video, it’s about Looking after yourself. And I mentioned that sometimes it is hard to take care of yourself with the tendencies that you would like to take care of others before you take care of yourself. So you put yourself on the back burner. But a lot of the times in order to take care of other people, you have to take care of yourself first, right? If you’re not healthy, then there’s no way that you can take care of another person when you’re not feeling well. So you need to feel well and energetic so that you have that energy to put in and taking care of others. So it’s not selfish, like I mentioned before, it’s not selfish to do self care on your own– on you first. And so and then making sure that when you’re taken care of then taking care of others, by making sure you’re nurturing good communication, the constructive words, whatever it be, so it is in a– moving in a positive direction, so it’s nurtured.

And then E, I mentioned, the last one is to Empower yourself, and Empower others. And you can empower yourself and others by just accepting and acknowledging. And without the judgment of being right or wrong, there’s no right or wrong, everybody has their opinions, and might be different from yours, your viewpoint might be different from another person. And it’s ok because we are an individual. And so we don’t have to think like the other person. And nor do we– we can speak our thoughts. But we don’t have to force the other person to think the way we do. Because everybody has a free will. That means a freedom to choose. And so nobody should take away that freedom, that free will of choice.

So that’s the whole tip. And I know I did some review, again, on the tips for the nurturing feelings. And a lot of the times you might be very critical of you know what you did, you might criti– it’s easy to criticize yourself. And it’s very easy to criticize others, I get it, you know. But with practice, and you know, with using the GENTLE tips that I have provided, remembering the word GENTLE, and going through each of those tips will help to quiet some of that criticism, quiet some of that negative thoughts, that is not constructive. That is not useful. And so we want to nurture feelings in communication, where it is useful. So hopefully, the GENTLE tips will help you to achieve that. So that’s today’s video, it’s all about using the GENTLE tips to nurture feelings. I hope the deep dive helped you to not only, again, receive the review, but also see how the tips can really benefit when nurturing your feelings. Not only when you’re talking to yourself, but also when you’re talking to others to have more of a positive impact that is constructive. And in a way that it can move the conversation forward in a positive way that we’re where you’re able to find the solutions and also when to know to let go so that you’re not again, trying to beat up or push against a wall that is not going to move. So again, I hope you found this to be helpful.

And if you would like to know more about how you can work with me on having an effortless effective communication; Visit my website GraceSOULutions.com. That’s GraceSOULutions.com to see how you can book a free Communication Breakthrough Session. And I look forward to seeing you here again next time.

Thank you for being here and have a great day! Take care, bye!

Nurture Feelings | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace, and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So I just want to do a quick review, because we’re already on the sixth part of COMMUNICATES. So, like I said, in the very beginning of the year that the word COMMUNICATES are broken into different parts.

So just a quick review. So the letter C and COMMUNICATES means Confidence, the O means Opinions, the M, the first M, is Messages or hidden Messages. The second M in COMMUNICATES is Monitor feelings, and then the U is Uncover misunderstandings, and then today for our topic, in COMMUNICATES it’s the N, which means Nurturing feelings. So, you might be asking,

Well, what is the difference between monitor feelings and nurturing feelings? Well, monitoring feelings is when you just realize that, hey, the conversation, there’s something kind of off or the mood had changed, or the feelings in the conversation might have changed. Nurturing feelings in communication, is making sure that you’re saying the kind words, that is, nurturing in a positive way as much as possible. Or if there is a disagreement, then the words that are spoken are in a constructive manner, so that we’re nurturing the conversation in a more positive, constructive way, rather than in a destructive way.

So for the tips that I like to use for nurturing feelings, to make sure that the feelings and the conver– in the conversation are being nurtured, is what I like to use the acronym GENTLE. So if you think about each of the words in GENTLE this might help you to be more constructive, not only to yourself, towards yourself, but towards others, when you’re nurturing conversations and nurturing the feelings in conversations.

So the first letter, the G, for GENTLE means Gracious. So being gracious, just simply means be kind. Use kind words, be kind to yourself and towards others, rather than in a critical or criticizing tone or words. So use kind words, and a constructive tone of voice, when need be, because sometimes not all situations, we can use an uplifting tone. However, we can still be gracious in a disagreement, if we use a constructive tone, direct, fair, but not overly aggressive. So the E, in the word, GENTLE means Expression. So what we mean by that is, even if you have a disagreement, or you felt you did something and you made a mistake, you can still use nice constructive words, to express yourself. And then the N in the word GENTLE means Nourish. Nourish your self, and with others, through use of good thoughts, good words, and nourish yourself so that you can reduce the stress. Because a lot of the times when we get aggressive, or we get sometimes into more of aggression, it’s because maybe perhaps we’re under stress. So we can nourish our mind and nourish our body that will help to reduce the stress, which will then nourish good feelings in a conversation. And then T, Timeout. Sometimes we just might need to just take a timeout, you know, step away from the situation from the conversation, or just take some nice deep breaths, collect our thoughts before continuing on. So that way we can stop ourselves, pause, rather than continue on and on with the argument. It should be if we have a disagreement. And then L means Look after yourself, and then Look after others. So it’s okay to you know, take care of yourself first before taking care of others. You know a lot of us tend to take care of others before taking care of ourselves. However, if you think of it this way, if you are not taken care of, then you won’t be able to take care of others. So it’s okay to take care of yourself first, through good self care, before taking care of others, weighing, you know, as much as you can, and then E for the word GENTLE means Empower. Empower yourself and others. So accept and acknowledge that there are going to be different viewpoints. And that that’s okay, and you can do so without the judgment of it being right or wrong. You know, you can just accept that and acknowledge another person’s point of view that might differ from yours. But you don’t necessarily have to put a judgement of it being right or wrong. And that will help to empower yourself, as well as others because you’re still standing your ground. But you’re also empowering others to say, you’re allowed to have your viewpoint. We might disagree, however, there’s no judgment of I being right or your being right, or I’m wrong, or you’re wrong. There’s none of that. It’s just we’re empowering each other, to allow each of us to speak our viewpoint.

So– So if you think of the word GENTLE, this will help you through the steps through the tips, nurturing your own feelings, and nurturing other people’s feelings that you’re speaking to end with during your conversation. And a lot of the times we’re also speaking to ourselves. And so again, remember gentle when speaking to yourself, especially when you make a mistake. It’s very– it’s very easy to be hypercritical of ourselves. But if we just remember to be gentle, that will also help to nurture the feelings when we speak to ourselves as well.

So I hope you found these tips to be helpful. If you would like to know more about how you can work with me to work with your communication, so that you can express your thoughts, feelings and desires without feeling overwhelmed, overshadowed or being overlooked. Then visit my website GraceSOULutions.com. That’s GRACESOULUTIONS.com to see how you can book a free communication breakthrough session with me. And I look forward to seeing you here again next time at Sensitive Communication Tips. Thank you for being here. Have a great day.

See you next time. Take care. Bye!

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