Find Your Unique Communication Style

Choices | The COMMUNICATES Game

If you’re a sensitive, introverted, conflict phobic person who is also a people pleaser, and you would love to openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires, without the fear of arguments or criticisms, so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship with your partner. Stay tuned for fun and valuable information.

Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to The Communication Warrior Game, or what I like to call The COMMUNICATES Game. Now, if you have missed the other videos, in this communicates game video series, that’s okay. Stay here for now. And you can always catch up with the other videos later on.

So in today’s video, in the communicate game, we’re going to talk about choices. Now, sometimes you might have a choice, and it might affect your partner. And in some situations, your partner might agree with your choice or the decision you’re going to make. And sometimes you’re going to make a choice that is good for you. However, your partner may not understand it. And so therefore, there might be some disagreements, or one of you might need to back down or a compromise is going to be made. So what to do when your partner doesn’t agree with the choice that you are making, or a decision that you want to make for yourself. And one of the situations it might be about self development. Right? In a lot of cases, a lot of the choices that we make for ourselves, can lead to improving our self development for self growth. So you might be wanting to lose some weight, or learn to communicate with your partner better. And so you’re looking at programs and you feel like there’s a coach that can help you. But then money comes into play. And so you are making a choice that, “hey, I would love to join this program.” But because of budget or financial reasons, your partner may not agree. So you’re making a choice that you would love to participate. However, there might be some money restrictions attached to it. So what do you do in that situation? What do you do when your partner doesn’t agree with you, or perhaps you feel like your partner may not support you, because there’s other pressing matters, that needs to be taken care of first.

So let’s check in with our four communication characters, and see how they would deal with the situation when they’re faced with choices and how they would communicate it to their partner. So our first communication character is Stance, and Stance is our confident communicator. So welcome Stance.

Alright, so Stance realizes that he or she has a choice. And yes, the choice can impact the family in general, right? Again, let’s just use the example of say, wanting a coach to help with self development. And let’s say it’s for weight loss, or better health, how about let’s do better health because health is important, right? If you don’t have good health, you’re not going to be able to do your job or take care of the person or even take care of yourself. So let’s in this case, let’s talk about improving better health. And so Stance sees a program that could help improve his or her health and of course there’s money attached to it. And in Stance’s mind, it is a lot of money. However, Stance feels like if we budget well, he or she could afford this program. However, Stance’s partner may not understand the program and feel like it could be a waste of money, because scans can just eat healthy and that will be enough and Stance’s mind Stance feels that he or she requires further coaching or further support to help to make sure that the habit sticks. So, Stance realizes that he or she has a choice and your choice will affect the family or the partner. So Stance is going to perhaps present his or her case, right? Present why he or she wants to participate in the program. And Stance may tell his or her partner in a way that’s says, “you know, I understand that you might not agree with me. And you might feel like I can do this on my own. However, for me, personally, I feel I could use an additional support somebody who will hold me accountable, and help me to make this habit stick. So, although you may not agree with me, I would just love for you to support me, just support me. You know, as far as the money is concerned, I understand your concern with you know, the amount. However, I have figured out some budgeting of how I can afford this program without really harming the budget.” So Stance is just going to stand in his or her own power in another words in their own confidence that they acknowledge that their partners may not understand or want to– or feel that it is necessary for Stance to be in the program. Stance understands that his or her partner may not understand why they want to participate in the in the program because they are not wanting to be in a program, right? It’s not for them, but it is for Stance. So Stance acknowledges that, that they may not understand his or her partner may not understand why Stance wants to be in this program. However, they’re not looking for so much of approval, because they already kind of figured out how it can work out. They’re just looking for their partner just to support just to say, yes, okay, I may not understand it. But if this is something you want to do, and you figure it out how to do it, then yes, go ahead and do what you need to do. And if you need an accountability partner, then tell me what I can do to support you and be your accountibility partner when you’re finished with the program, perhaps so Stance’s is just going to be very clear on what he or she requires. So moving on to our next character.

All right here we have Brash and Brash is our arrogant communicator, and Brash is going to be a type of person that perhaps is say, “you know, I have made my choice, you don’t have to agree with me, I’ve made it, I’ve done it, it’s a done deal.” So Brash is just going to do whatever is necessary to help him or herself, right. And they don’t mind whether or not you agree, they have already just put out their credit card number of purchases, and just say, you know what it’s paid for. And whatever else happens, we will figure it out. But I know this is for me, and I’m just gonna go ahead and go right for it. And that is Brash’s choice, he, he or she has made that choice and made a decision that this is a program for them. They say yes, I want it and they’ve done it. And all the finances everything else, they will figure it out as it comes along. Right. But they know that this is what they need. They’ve made the choice, and they have gone for it. And that is Brash. Brash is just, I know what I want, go out for it. And then everything else will all be figured out as they come through. That’s more or less how Brash is going to be regarding to his or her choice. They know what they want. And they go for it. All right, so that’s Brash. And let’s see our next character.

All right, we have Gray, and Gray is our timid communicator. Now Gray knows what he or she wants, and you will love to make that choice of being in the program. However, Gray is going to take an account of everything that budget what the spouse says. And then most likely, a majority of the cases, Gray’s choice is going to be impacted by the other factors, the budget factor, the spouse, and so Gray might just be willing to pause right and hold off actually enrolling in the program. So in Gray’s mind, Gray is going to say well, if not today, and I’m sure this program will be offered again. Gray might be willing just to say you know what? I can’t do it this time but I’ll save up so that perhaps the next time it’s offered, I will be able to enroll in it then. In the majority of situations, Gray is going to be the one that perhaps realize the choice will be good for him or her. However, because of all the other situations, they’re not going to just say, Well, you know, this is what I want, and I’m just going to step into it, they’re going to, most likely, say “Well, I see, you know, what my spouse says, I see the situation, you know, I’m willing to hold off on this choice for now. And I’ll work on saving it up. So the next time the program comes around, I can then enroll in a choice.” And sometimes, and in some situations, Gray might not even be sure if the choice is right for him or herself. So, sometimes Gray might actually go to the partner or go to some other person, a friend or family member, and ask for their advice and say, “Hey, there’s this program. I like it for this and this reason, you know, obviously, there’s some budget things going on. However, I’m not really sure because you know, I’m committed.” But then, of course, there’s time factors, all these other things that comes up. And then I’m in some situations that the choices the decision is made for Gray. You know, people might say, “well, you know, I would probably wait, maybe you can save it up for later. Or, you know, it sounds like you’re interested in a program, however, you know, do you really want to put more things on your plate,” you know, so majority is a situation. So because Gray is not entirely sure whether or not he or she should participate in the program, a lot of times Gray will rely on other people’s advice. And then from there to make the decision of whether or not to participate. So in some situations, it appears that Gray’s choices are made by other people, you know, by the partner or family member or friends, a lot of the times it feels like Gray is not making his or her own choice. So much as sometimes in some situations, it feels like other people are helping Gray to decide or choose whether or not to be in a program. So again, because Gray is, you know, looking at it from all different aspects. And then from their wanting to make the best choice that is more or less for the other people, rather than really looking down for him or herself. You know, Gray is a timid communicator. So Gray again, most likely don’t want to create a conflict. So he’s– he or she’s looking for advice and seeing what the majority of the people think. And then almost making the decision or the choice based on what the popular choice is from other people from the feedback that Gray is getting. So again, there’s not a right or wrong way of making choices is just each communication character, whether it be Stance, Brash or Gray. They’re making the choices and the decisions based on their comfort level based on their personality, and based on so many other different factors. But Gray again, is most likely going to be making a choice based on what the popular vote might be. Even though Gray may feel this program is good for him or her however, again, they’re not entirely sure and so they’re going out and kind of almost collecting the votes and see you know, should Gray actually participate or not in some ways. Not all situations not all to the communicator make choices that way. But in some cases in the majority of cases, perhaps we don’t know all the situations however a majority of cases, timid would make choices based off of kind of like I said popular votes.

All right. And then we have Blend there is Blend so Blend is our Shape Shifter communicator. And so Blend when given a choice may blend and become either Stance or Brash or Gray, right. Sometimes depending upon the situation or the program I’m where the cost Blend is either going to sometimes be like Stance, be like Brash or be like Gray. So, again, Blend can kind of sense the mood sense the situation, and sense whether or not the program is really truly right for him or her. So from there, again, Blend might decide, you know, I’m gonna be like Stance in this situation or I might be like Brash or I might be like Gray when talking to my partner, or a friend or whoever it is about the program that I’m looking to enroll. So Blend is going to say, you know, this is the program, I want to talk to my partner about it. Now, because of this program because of the cause. Today, it’s going to be more like Stance, or it might be more like Brash or a maybe more like Gray. Again, depending upon the situation depending upon, you know, how Blend truly feels about the program.

And then this is what we want you to feel when communicating your choice with your partner, you as a Communication Warrior. You. This is you as the Communication Warrior, where you feel confident, and you can openly communicate your choices to your partner, “hey, I have this program is you know, this is a good fit for me, I can budget we can work it out.” You feel open and confident and communicating to your partner what it is that you want, and why you want to participate in a program, why it’s worth it to you why you feel that this program is a big value for you, for you to right now be in it. And so you no longer feel like you need to hide that, right? You feel like a Communication Warrior, where you are just open and confident and communicating to your partner. And knowing exactly what you need from your partner, whether it’d be support, or it’d be I know exactly how to budget you don’t need to worry about it. Or just to say you know, I’m not really sure. And I would really appreciate your feedback just so I can have a bit more information from, you know, what your thoughts are your perspective, whatever it is that you require, you know how to ask for it.

So that is what a Communication Warrior is all about. It’s about you being confident and communicating what it is that you want, and what it is that you require from your partner. And if you don’t feel like you’re a Communication Warrior yet, that’s okay. I invite you to visit my website, That’s To see how you can book a free communication breakthrough session with me, where we will discover five obstacles, and one step

that will help you to move forward to becoming a Communication Warrior where you can openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires without the fear of arguments or criticisms so that you can have that happy and harmonious relationship with your partner without ever feeling lonely in your relationship. And in the next video, we’re going to see how the four characters how Stance, Brash, Gray and Blend are going to deal with awareness, awareness of their actions and their communication.

So keep your eyes out for the next video on awareness of action. And again, thank you for being here.

Now go out and have fun communicating!

Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Choose Your Path)

Everyone has a certain path or journey that he or she is traveling on during his or her lifetime.

Including you.

As you travel on your path during your journey, choices or opportunities will be presented to you.

You will look at your opportunities and choices and decide the one that is best for you at that moment.

Sometimes the choices you make (or want to make) may not make sense to the people you have relationships with.

I will share with you, my story.

When I decided and chose to be an entrepreneur or solopreneur, my husband couldn’t understand why I would go down this path when I had a steady job as a speech-language pathologist.

I earned a good income working in hospitals and as a travel therapist.

I wanted time, money, and freedom and chose a path where I could dictate my own time and money.

I couldn’t see myself having time and money freedom if I continued to work as a speech-language pathologist.

I can honestly tell you that my husband didn’t like my decision in choosing to be a solopreneur and giving up a steady income; however, that is the path I have chosen, and I have stuck with it.

Is it stubbornness on my part? Perhaps.

Is it that I believe in myself and believe that I can do it and succeed as a solopreneur? Absolutely!

My husband is supportive with what I am doing and working on, and he does his best to show his support.

I am more of a risk taker than my husband, if you can’t tell already.

I appreciate him doing his best to show his support even if he might not agree with my choice or decision.

Sometimes that will happen. Either you’ll make the choice that your partner doesn’t agree with or vice versa.

Here’s the thing.

Your partner can still support you and show their support even if they doesn’t agree with you and vice versa.

If you want to have a happy and harmonious relationship, then you are going to have to allow the person to make certain choices or decisions for themselves that differ from yours.

You want to be able to communicate your thoughts of choices or decisions you want to make for yourselves. That will benefit you and your partner.

Likewise, you want your partner to feel like they can communicate to you their thoughts about choices or decisions they want to make to better your lives together.

Sometimes your partner (or you) may not be comfortable with the choice or decision that is presented because of fear.

Fear of failure, fear of money (lack of money), fear of (fill-in-the-blank), and what-ifs (something bad happens).

Fear is good at keeping people and you at status quo.

When you follow your heart and do what you love, then you’ll be able to conquer your fear.

Afterall there is a saying, “Love can conquer fear.”

I’m not going to say that you won’t encounter obstacles and challenges along the way because you will.

I’ve had encountered my fair share of challenges and obstacles along my journey.

What I will say is that you’ll be able to overcome your obstacles and challenges because everything is figureoutable.

That I know from my own personal experience.

I would also like to add that…

Choose Your Path can also mean that you are choosing activities that will benefit your relationship with your partner such as choosing the way you communicate so that you can have more constructive conversations rather than destructive conversations with your partner.

Choosing to be aware of the way you communicate and how you communicate with your partner, choices or decisions will be presented to you during your lifetime and you want to be able to communicate your choices or decisions with your partner.

Your partner should also feel like they can communicate their choices or decisions with you.

The choices or decisions may be presented to the individual; however, the choice or decision made may impact the relationship.

Likely the choice or decision made will be the one that would benefit the relationship.

It’s about choosing the path, being able to discuss your choices and decisions. Having that support even if the person disagrees with you.

Also, choosing to have constructive conversations rather than destructive conversations when discussing choices or decisions.

The Objective of the Game

The ‘winning’ objective is that you allow the person to make the choice or decision that is best for him or her and give support even if you don’t agree.

The choice or decision made will benefit the relationship rather than hinder the relationship.

If you managed to openly communicate your thoughts and the choices or decisions you’re making, and your partner supports you even if he or she might not agree with you…That’s a win!

If you and your partner couldn’t openly communicate thoughts, and the choices or decisions because of fear, that’s okay. Guess what?

You learned without losing.

Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.

Learning points in this example might be:

  • What can you do differently next time so that you can share your thoughts and choices while asking for support?
  • What are the fears towards the choices or decisions?
  • Why do you have these fears?
  • What can you do to have constructive conversation when sharing your choices or decisions when partner doesn’t or might not agree with you?

You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable when making the choice or decision that will be best for you and that will benefit you and your partner.

This is the Communication Warrior.

You know your way to choose your path… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!

If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator