Find Your Unique Communication Style

Tone of Voice | The COMMUNICATES Game

If you’re an introvert, sensitive, people pleaser, who would love to openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires without the fear of arguments or criticisms: Stay tuned for fun and valuable information.

Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to the COMMUNICATES game video series, or what I like to call the COMMUNICATES game. Now, if you have missed the previous videos in this series, don’t worry, stay here for now, you can always catch up with the previous videos that I have recorded in this video series later on. So today in this video, we’re going to be talking about Tone of Voice.

Tone of Voice

Now, you know how sometimes somebody’s tone of voice can either uplift you or annoy you, or even perhaps trigger you. So sometimes one person’s voice may be uplifting to one person, but that same tone of voice can either be triggering or annoying to another person. So a tone of voice can almost be subjective, it’s almost depending on how the person perceives that voice or the tone of voice. So somebody who might have a sarcastic personality might have a sarcastic tone of voice. And for one person, they will be okay with that. And then to another person, it might be very triggering. It’s all about the perception. And based on your experiences, and how you’re feeling that day, that tone of voice can either be okay. Or it could be “what the heck.” So we’re going to use the communication characters to talk about the tone of voice. Now, I like to preface that the character that we’re going through, I’m only going to generalized, what the tone of voice might be for the communication characters. So for example, Stance is our confident communicator, and we suspect that Stance will have a certain tone of voice. But it doesn’t mean that Stance can’t have a sarcastic tone of voice. Stance can easily also be a soft spoken, gentle person that has a very gentle soft spoken tone of voice neutral Stance can also show an aggressive tone of voice, it doesn’t matter, there’s all these characters can have all the tone of voices out there. But generally, when we associate a person like who is confident, generally we suspect that that person will have a particular tone of voice. So I’m going to be just talking about a general sense of what tone of voice that the characters may have. So having said that, let’s get started.

Stance – The Confident Communicator

So again, our first character is Stance and Stance is our confident communicator. Alright, so here is Stance. Now Stance, who is our confident communicator, obviously, we’re going to expect that Stance is going to have a confident tone of voice. So what does that mean? Well, most likely Stance is going to have perhaps more of that assertive tone of voice, maybe that no-nonsense Stance could also have that uplifting tone of voice, not like a high pitch or anything like that. But just an uplifting spirit of such that kind of like, makes you feel like “yes, I can do it” right? In a very assertive, no-nonsense kind of way but still very up lifting, that is kind of the tone of voice that we would expect that most of the confident communicators would have. Again, just because Stance is confident and you know, we in generalizing that they would have that sort of tone of voice Stance can easily still have, like I mentioned earlier, a sarcastic tone of voice an aggressive tone of voice, a soft spoken tone of voice anything it’s just, again, Stance is just going to use the tone of voice but it’s going to show that confidence that no-nonsense. Alright. So our next communicator is Brash and Brash is our arrogant communicator.

Brash – The Arrogant Communicator

So this is Brash, our arrogant communicator. And so because Brash has that “out there” type of person banality like likes to shine and be there. And so we might suspect that Brash, his tone of voice, might come off as aggressive and Brash might also have a sarcastic personality. So perhaps might even have a sarcastic tone of voice, just because it depends on the situation. So, you know, again, if Brash is wanting to show like, “Yes, I can, you know, I’m best in this,” or what have, you might show more of that aggression, that more aggressive tone of voice. Brash, can easily have more of a, you know, down to earth tone of voice as well, we just don’t know. Right? You know, it depends on the situation. However, because of the big personality, we, as we suspect that most in most cases, in a general sense, that Brash is going to have that more aggressive, that big personality, type of tone of voice.

Gray – The Timid Communicator

And then we have Gray, our timid communicator. So as you can see, in the picture, Gray is very much wanting to be in a background, right, because you can see the posture and everything. So Gray probably would like to hide, be kind of like blending into the background, hang in the back. So what is the tone of voice that would kind of not draw attention to Gray? That would probably be like this soft and gentle tone of voice, right? Because if you think about like water, you know, being very gentle kind of going with the flow, you can kind of feel like Gray is going to be that type of like, “I don’t want to bring attention to myself.” So Gray is most likely going to have that tone of voice, that will likely not draw attention to him or herself. Having said that, the tone of voice that would likely not draw attention would be that soft and gentle tone of voice. However, that doesn’t mean that Gray can’t be assertive, or have that, you know, uplifting tone of voice and what have you. Certainly Gray can still have that, but perhaps it’s not as big, right? It can perhaps be toned down a bit, even though Gray might have that assertiveness– to it the tone of voice of assertiveness to it, but also might be toned down a little bit. So there’s a bit of softness to it or gentleness to it as well. So again, we’re just generalizing, but certainly in some situations, where Gray might be really comfortable, who knows. Gray might then all of a sudden become that really big, uplifting, you know, person with a big tone of– with a loud tone of voice Who knows, right? Depending on situations but in general, we suspect that Gray will have more of that gentle, a lower tone of voice and and softer tone of voice. Okay, and then we have Blend.

Blend – The Shapeshifter Communicator

Blend is our Shapeshifter communicator. So even though Blend is able to read the room and situations, you know, Blend is going to choose the tone of voice that most likely will best fit the person or in that situation. However, it doesn’t mean that Blend is always going to perhaps choose the right tone of voice to use. Remember, everybody has their own perceptions and some tone of voice can be uplifting to one person, it can be triggering to another person, that same tone of voice that can be uplifting to one can also be triggering for another. However, Blend is most likely also going to be able to kind of figure out which tone of voice might be better for that room or for that situations. But if Blend happens to use the wrong tone of voice Blend might be able to quickly switch and figure out which one will be next best just to kind of make sure that the conversations carry on.

You – The Communication Warrior

And this is what we want for You: You as the Communication Warrior. So this is you as the communication warrior, where you are open and confident in communicating your thoughts feelings and desires with using the right tone of voice that fit with the person and the situation that you are in. However, if you happen to choose the wrong tone of voice, you are the communication warrior. You know how to fix it you know how to shift to a different tone of waste that perhaps that will help you to carry on to have that conversation. Because after all, you no longer are afraid, like, Oops, you don’t know what to do. You’re the communication warrior. You didn’t get the right tone of voice, you know exactly what to do to make sure that it gets shifted in the right direction so that you can continue to have that productive conversation.

But if you don’t feel like you’re a communication warrior yet, that’s okay. I’m going to invite you to visit my website, That’s to book a free Communication Breakthrough Session, where we will discover five challenges or obstacles that are standing in your way, and one action step that you can do that will help you to move forward. And in the next videos, we’re going to see how the communication characters deal with expressing themselves. So stay tuned for that.

And in the meantime, go have fun communicating!

Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Tone of Voice)

Do certain noises or sounds make you happy while other noises or sounds can annoy you?

What do you feel when you hear an ice cream van? Happy or perhaps nostalgic.

What about a siren? Most likely annoyed by the loud sound of a siren.

Your tone of voice can be the same way.

Some tones of voice may make you feel happy and supported while other tones of voice may negatively trigger you.

Have you ever heard someone say to you, you better watch your tone of voice or don’t give me that tone of voice?

Or perhaps you have said those exact statements to your partner.


Because the tone of voice somehow triggered you.

Perhaps your partner said something to you in passing and because of his or her tone of voice, you picked it up wrong and say something like, what’s wrong with you, why you’re using that tone of voice with me?

Or what’s with that tone of voice you just used?

Your partner might not have meant anything by it, but because of his or her tone of voice, it just set something off in you like a firecracker or vice versa.

Tone of voice can be subjective, and the tone might sound one way to one person it can sound completely different to another person.

For example, a happy uplifting tone can sound like you’re being cheered on by one person where to another person it might sound as if he or she is being mocked.

Mocked for not being able to do something, the uplifting tone is just to rubbing it in that he or she can’t do it, and it’s a fake cheer rather than an actual genuine cheer or support.

To the person who feels he or she is being mocked the person with the happy and uplifting tone is actually being sincere; however, his or her tone of voice is picked up wrong by the person feeling mocked.

Some people are sensitive to the tone of voice.

He or she is sensitive to how the tone of voice sounds because he or she is sensing the person’s mood and the true feeling behind the statement that delivered.

Some people are not bothered by an aggressive tone or sarcastic tone, and others can be.

If you’re a sensitive, introverted, and conflict-phobic person, then some tone of voice may bother you or you may be more sensitive to some tones of voice than others such as you might be more sensitive and bothered by an aggressive tone versus calming tone.

For some people a calming tone may sound like the person is bored or don’t have any emotions.

Everyone might agree with what an aggressive tone may sound like, a happy tone, a sad tone, or calming tone, etc.

However, not everyone is going to agree that that’s the tone that the person used and not everyone is going to be comfortable or be accepting of a tone of voice that was used.

Knowing what tone of voice, you’re comfortable with and the ones that trigger you the wrong way will help you to communicate to your partner which tones of voice to use more often when communicating with you so that you feel supported by your partner rather than leaving you feeling lonely and misunderstood.

Also, knowing the tone of voice that you use that uplifts or triggers your partner will help you to use more of the tone of voice that uplifts rather than triggers your partner so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship.


Tone of voice is subjective. You might be okay with some tones of voice and other tones of voice might trigger you and the same can be said for your partner.

It’s about being aware of your tone of voice and knowing which tones of voice uplifts you and which one triggers you as well as knowing which one uplifts and triggers your partner.

Using the tone of voice that uplifts and supports you and your partner when communicating so that you and your partner both feel supported when communicating with each other for a better and deeper personal relationship.

The Objective of the Game

The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re aware that tone of voice can be subjective.

Knowing and using the tone of voice that uplifts you and your partner when communicating to form a better connection.

Avoid using the tone of voice that triggers you and your partner.

If you managed to use the tone of voice that uplifts you and your partner to form a closer connection…That’s a win!

If you and your partner sometimes used the tone of voice that triggered rather than uplifted each other in your communication, that’s okay. Guess what?

You learned without losing.

Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.

Learning points in this example might be what can you do differently next time to use the tone of voice that will uplift or show support for your partner? Why do you think the tone of voice you used or your partner used triggered you or your partner? What can you do better next time?

You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable with the tone of voice you used in your communication.

This is the Communication Warrior.

You know your way to your tone of voice… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!

If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator