There are many different ways that you can communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires.
One of the ways is through body language and facial expression (which I wrote about in one of my previous blog posts). The majority of the blog articles I have written have had to do with verbal expression in communication. This mainly refers to spoken words and tone of voice.
For some of you, you might find it easier to express yourself through written expression or perhaps through artistic expression. You might find that it’s easier for you to gain more clarity of what you’re thinking, feeling, and wanting through drawing, painting, dancing, playing or listening to music, or journaling.
You also might find that before you verbally express your thoughts, feelings, or desires to your partner that you first need to process and gain clarity on what exactly it is that you’re thinking, feeling, and wanting.
Using some of the modalities (again, such as drawing, dancing, journaling) might help you to process what you’re feeling and help you figure out on the best way to communicate your feelings and what it is you really want from your partner.
Sometimes you might not be able to put it down into words or find the right way to describe or communicate what it is you want to express. This is when artistic expression may come in handy. This could be things such as: drawing an abstract picture of what you’re feeling, dancing to the mood of the music you’re feeling drawn to, or just writing any words that comes to your mind into a notebook journal.
First you need to have clarity on what it is your thinking, feeling, and wanting. Then you can better communicate that to your partner.
If you’re feeling confused and muddled as to your own thoughts, feelings, and desires and you can’t even communicate them clearly to yourself, then how you’re going to communicate clearly to your partner so that they can understand you?
Artistic expression can help you to process and understand yourself first so that you know what it is that you want to communicate to your partner so that you can get the support you want from them.
When you can openly, honestly, and clearly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires to your partner then you will feel supported and that will nurture a happy and harmonious relationship.
It’s also up to you if you would rather directly show your artistic expression to your partner as a way to communicate to them. Artistic expression can be incredibly personalized so it’s entirely up to you what and how you choose to share.
For some of you, you might find it easier to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires through a written expression such as writing a letter.
You might choose to write a letter to your partner to tell him or her what you’re deeply thinking, feeling, and wanting because you might find it easier to communicate it this way instead of outright saying it.
You might be asking “is there a tone of voice through written expression? Is it just as effective as when speaking out loud?” The answer is yes to both.
There is a tone of voice in written expression through the words and sentences you put into the letter, the pressure of your writing the individual characters and how you craft the sentences, and where you choose to place emphasis in your letter. Writing a letter to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires can end up being just as effective as verbal communication.
Perhaps in some situations you might find it easier to openly and honestly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires in the letter format or through any number of written expression formats rather than straight verbal expression because you’re afraid to see your partner’s reaction.
Sometimes by allowing time to process the information (such as reading a letter), and then discussing it afterwards when everyone has had time to process their own feelings may make it easier to have constructive conversation about what was written to discuss it further.
There are so many different ways to communicate. It’s ultimately about you choosing the modality to express yourself (whether that be through verbal, written or artistic) so that you can openly and honestly communicate using what you have chosen in order to clearly communicate with your partner.
Sometimes you may choose to use just one or a combination of artistic expression methods to help you to gain clarity on your own thoughts, feelings, and desires so that you know exactly what it is you want to communicate.
Your goal is to have it so your partner could clearly hear and understand what it was you communicated to him or her because you were clear about your own thoughts, feelings, and desires.
The Objective of the Game
The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re able to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires clearly, openly, and honestly.
There are times that you might not feel you’re able to clearly, openly, and honestly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires through verbal expression.
You might instead be able to clearly, openly, and honestly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires through other means of communication such as written or artistic expression.
If you managed to clearly, openly, and honestly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires using verbal, written, or artistic expression to communicate with your partner without fear of argument or criticism…That’s a win!
If you couldn’t clearly, openly and honestly communicate with your partner with using any of the communication modalities, that’s okay. Guess what?
You learned without losing.
Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.
Learning points in this example might be:
- What can you do differently next time or what communication modality can you use next time so that you can communicate more clearly, openly, and honestly?
- Why do you think you held yourself back from being able to communicate more clearly, openly, and honestly?
- What can you do better next time?
You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable when expressing yourself.
This is the Communication Warrior.
You know your way to express yourself… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!
If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a Communication Warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that are stopping your from becoming a Communication Warrior.
Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator