During your ‘communication game’ has this ever happened to you?
You’re having a nice communication and then all of the sudden the mood suddenly changes?
The mood has changed because either another person joined the group, or something was said which totally changed the whole mood of the conversation.
If you resonate as being a sensitive, introverted, and a conflict-phobic person, then you’re likely able to sense the change in the mood of a person or the whole mood of a conversation.
However, the person you’re speaking with might not have that ‘special skill’ of sensing the change of the mood or the conversation.
Your communication partner may not even realize that the mood of the conversation had changed at all. They might continue to be oblivious as to what is going on until someone it blows off and walks out of the conversation altogether.
Some people don’t have what I call the ‘Spidey Senses’ of sensing when the mood of a person or conversation is turning from calm into stormy weather.
If there is sudden mood change in the person or of the conversation, you as a sensitive, introverted, and conflict-phobic person might feel that it was your fault that it changed or you might even be dumbstruck yourself as to what happened and why things changed in such a way.
The thing is… You can sense the change.
One minute you’re having a nice joyful, peaceful conversation, then something was said, and now someone is pissed off and the best way to describe it is that you’re heading into a horrible storm.
In the communication game, it’s important to be aware and keep track of the various feelings and moods within the conversation.
If the person you’re speaking with doesn’t have the ‘Spidey Senses’ to sense the change in the mood, then you can give some warnings like a weather reporter who gives warnings when bad storms are coming.
You can say something to the person who is oblivious to the mood change something like, “let’s change the subject”, or “let’s table this discussion for now and discuss it at a later time”, or “I didn’t like the last comment you just said so let’s take a break”.
It doesn’t matter if you have Spidey Senses or not. All it takes is everyone paying attention to the people they’re speaking with.
There are hints, they might be subtle hints, that someone is getting upset during the conversation, and to quit while you’re ahead so that you don’t have to enter into the storm cloud. And sometimes they can leave people thinking “if only you had paid attention…”
The subtle hints or warnings might’ve been a change in facial expression, body language, tone of voice, or even a direct comment to stop that was ignored.
Think about it…
The subtle changes could’ve been anything from a large smile to a small weak smile, open arm movements to folded arms across the stomach, or a change in tone of voice from friendly to a more serious tone that gives the vibe of “don’t push my buttons.“
There are some people that have a natural gift of nurturing feelings in conversation while others may learn the necessary skills to develop nurture feelings during conversation.
Sadly, there are others who might not care to nurture any feelings in conversations. These are the people who don’t care if they pissed people off by what they said.
The type of people who don’t care about nurturing feelings in conversation are the ones who only care about what they wanted to say in the first place and say it in exactly the way that they wanted to say it.
Those who do nurture feelings in conversation or pay attention to it are usually the sensitive type. The ones who can sense the room or the person’s feelings because the people who nurture feelings might feel they are responsible for everyone’s feelings during the conversation.
A nice balance when it comes to nurturing feelings in a conversation is to be aware of the other person’s feelings, but also to realize that you are not fully responsible for the other person’s feelings.
You might’ve said something that was picked up wrong, you apologized for the mistake, and if the other person continues to be upset, well it’s on that person, and not on you.
You did your best to remedy the situation by apologizing and held yourself accountable for the mistake made and you just need to let the person work through their emotions, and you don’t need to beat yourself up about it or hold on to the responsibility.
The truth is that the mood of the person or change of mood during a conversation can happen at any time.
It’s about doing your best to nurture feelings so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship in your personal communication.
The Objective of the Game
The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re aware of nurturing feelings in your communication.
There are times that you might be able to sense the change in a person’s mood or the conversation and there are times you might miss it.
If you’ve managed to nurture feelings in your communication so that you were able to continue to have constructive communication… That’s a win!
If your communication changed because the person’s mood changed or the conversation changed from calm to stormy weather because you missed the changes that were happening during your communication, that’s okay. Guess what?
You learned without losing.
Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.
Learning points in this example might be:
- What can you do differently so that you can nurture feelings in your communication?
- Why do you think you missed the changes that were occurring in the first place?
- What can you do better next time?
- What worked that you could continue to use?
You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into the authenticity of who you want to portray and have a good balance of holding yourself accountable when it comes to nurturing feelings in your communication.
This is the Communication Warrior.
You know your way to nurture feelings… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!
If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.