Nurture Feelings | The COMMUNICATES Game

If you’re a sensitive, introverted, conflict phobic person who would love to be able to communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires, without the fear of arguments and criticisms, so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship so that you will never feel lonely again, in your relationship with your partner. Stay tuned for fun and valuable information!

Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to the COMMUNICATES Game video series. If you have missed the other videos that I have done, and this video series, don’t worry, stay here for now. And you can always catch up with it later. So if you missed the other videos that I have done in the COMMUNICATES Game video series, that’s okay, stay here for now. And you can always catch up with those videos later. So in today’s video, we’re going to talk about nurturing feelings. Nurturing feelings in your communication. Now you or your partner may or may not be good at nurturing feelings in your communication.

So let me ask you this, have you ever engaged in conversation with your partner, and all of a sudden you or your partner changed, the mood changed? So in the beginning, perhaps you and your partner were having a really relaxing, good, calm, happy conversation. And then either you or your partner said something, and it upset, either you or your partner. And then all of a sudden, it’s like storm clouds are coming in. So either you took offense or your partner took offense, and one of you is just now upset. And either you or your partner decide to walk away from the conversation. And I don’t know about you. Once when you or your partner walk off, are you stumped? Like, all of a sudden, do you wonder like, Hey, what happened? It started off like a really good conversation, you’re stumped. And you’re like, “hey, we had a good conversation, everything was fine. And then all of a sudden, I said something or he or she said something. And now all of a sudden, one of us is upset and walked away from the conversation to cool off.”

So what happened? Right, so this is where nurturing feelings in the conversation in your communication becomes important because perhaps, if you gave some awareness to it, you might have realized that there were some clues as to how you were feeling or to how the other person was feeling during that conversation. You know, in the beginning, it was probably really good, you know, you’re joking with each other or something, you know, was said. And then somebody made a comment or their you made a comment or your partner made a comment, and all of a sudden, now the storm clouds have come in. So with the nurture feelings, it’s about looking for the subtle hints, so for subtle changes of either the conversation shifting from being happy to stormy clouds, or perhaps you can switch it like maybe the clouds are stormy and you see that and now you’re going to figure out how you can pivot and then you can see like there’s stormy clouds. But however, instead of getting further into the stormy clouds, because you see it coming, that perhaps you can pivot and maybe maneuver to a different direction by making either a little bit of a humorous statement, or perhaps saying something that’s more nurturing, so that you can pivot it back to instead of going further into the storm clouds. Now you can still go back to being having that sunny, happy conversation that you originally maybe had, or as this conversation has already begun storming, because it was a very serious conversation. Perhaps you don’t have to make it so serious. Perhaps you can also put a little bit of some light heartedness into this serious conversation so that it’s not going to be going further and to that storm clouds. And perhaps it’s not always the case, perhaps in some situations, you know, it’s going to be storm clouds, and you’re just doing your best to navigate through the storm clouds. But there might be some chances of yes as being storm clouds that perhaps there’s some way to lighten up the storm and again, by nurturing the conversation with some certain nurturing words, or some nurturing gestures.

And again, if there’s a shift from a happy conversation to a stormy conversation that’s coming up, again, look for those subtle hints, and then see about how to pivot away from it. Again, when you have that awareness of nurturing the conversation, and that could be just as simple as you know, being aware of what you said, perhaps, you know what you said, the other person took it wrong, right. So you might be able to change that. Or, if you see the other person, your partner, all of a sudden, is in a relaxed body posture, like with open arms and smiling, and all of a sudden, you said something, and now the your partner has his or her arm crossed, or all of a sudden, the face changed to almost like a serious looking tone, where the smile is no longer there, or perhaps just like kind of a small smile, not as big as what it was. These are little things that you can see like, oh, perhaps did I say something or, you know, and again, the same way. And once when your partner is aware, and can nurture the conversation, he or she can also maybe see when you’re getting a little bit upset and learn to pivot as well.

So this is where nurturing feelings in your conversation in your communication becomes important because it’s almost like another way of validating of your feeling now of what was being said and what was being discussed. And it’s an acknowledgement that “hey, I was okay. And then something was said, and now I’m not okay.” So and who doesn’t want to be validated? Right? So sometimes validation doesn’t have to be through words. It can be just saying, acknowledging like, “Oh, my goodness, there’s now a change in the mood in the conversation. I acknowledge that I acknowledged you’re changing, you’re in the mood that you’re in now in. So let’s see what we can do to fix it to repair it.” Right.

We’re going to talk about the nurture feelings. I’m using the four characters. Okay, so my first character is Stance and Stance is our confident communicator. So with the confident communicator, we’re just going to look at how each character’s not necessarily read or pivot in nurturing the feelings in the conversation, but how they might kind of address the nurturer feelings in the conversation. Starting with Stance, our confident communicator. Yay, hello Stance. Alright, so Stance is going to be the type of person that will try his or her best to monitor the feelings in the conversation. So Stance is most likely going to be the type of person that will do his or her best to see, you know, have an awareness of the person’s mood in a conversation. So if there is a subtle change Stance is going to do his or her best to kind of notice if the subtle changes and perhaps some person’s mood during the conversation, because again, Stance wants to have that constructive conversation. And so Stance again, is just confidence. And so he or she is going to try his or her best, you know, to see how the person is feeling, right? If the person is having a happy conversation, and all of a sudden the mood changes Stance is likely going to pick up on it and perhaps even try his or her best to pick up on it. As soon as like they’re heading into the storm clouds, like the person who has his or her arm crossed, Stance might, you know, kind of take awareness of that, so to speak, and say, oh, okay, maybe I said something or something was said and so Stance might just check in and say, Hey, are you okay? Did I just say something wrong? Because of the subtle, maybe body change. So, again, sometimes Stance might miss it, but Stance is going to be the type of person that will do his or her best to make sure that the feelings are being nurtured in the conversation notice any subtle changes so that the conversations can continue on onto a constructive path rather than a destructive path. So that is Stance.

All right. Our next communicator is Brash and Brash is our arrogant communicator. So here’s Brash, Brash is more concerned about making sure that he or she looks good, right? Looks the best. So Brash is most likely not going to be a good communicator when it comes to nurturing feelings. Because, again, Brash is only worried about making sure he or she looks good and looking the best. And sometimes that might mean not being aware of nurturing feelings, because again, they just want to make sure they look good. So it’s not so much about how the other person feels, they might, you know, boast about their achievements and what have you, while the other person may not be feeling good about it, but Brash is not going to be aware of that Brash is most likely going to just, you know, continue on and say, Look, kind of, like, continue on with his or her achievements, say, Look at me, and, you know, I did this and this and this, you know, not kind of stepping back a little bit and saying, but, you know, everybody else did great here or something like that, you know, and most likely is just that Brash is gonna say, Yeah, I did great. So hey, you know, pay attention and not so much as being aware of how the other person might be feeling, right? When it comes to nurturing feelings, I don’t want to say that Brash doesn’t nurture feelings, is just that perhaps Brash is more, because the intention is to make him or herself looking good. Sometimes that means, you know, not paying attention to other things such as nurturing feelings, you know, the intention is not to be aware of how the other person’s feeling. The intention is more about making sure he or she looks good. So sometimes that, means that what gets missed is the nurturing feeling in the communication in the conversation. And not to say that Brash will always miss, you know, the feelings or will always, you know, miss on the opportunity to nurture feelings, you know, perhaps, you know, afterwards in a in Brash’s way, he or she might just say, oh, you know, you’ll get there next time, or I’m sure, you know, you’ll, you’ll achieve that someday, you know, type of thing. And, again, it’s maybe Brash’s way of just saying, hey, you know, I know I did great and everything and, but you know, in Brash’s way of saying, you know, you’ll, you’ll get it sometime in the future, perhaps it’s just saying, you know, there is opportunity for you as well. And that’s Brash’s way perhaps nurturing feeling, you might be like, Brash, or you might know somebody like Brash, and that’s okay. Sometimes we do want people to look at us, right? To look at the are achievements. And then sometimes, you know, we just might need to still be a little bit aware of the feelings. So with Brash, it’s just very, I’m going to just start off saying it is very difficult to address the nurturing feelings with Brash because Brash is so concerned is more concerned about making him or herself looking good. Again, what gets lost will be the nurturing feelings, I don’t want to say that Brash always misses the opportunity of nurturing feelings. However, because it’s not really top priority Brash is going to be the type of person that really just focused on him or herself. And not so much on the other person. So sometimes you almost need to be a Brash yourself, to bring out that nurture feeling of what you need. So perhaps you just need to, you know, be– be, like Brash and say, “You know what, I’m feeling this way, and you need to stop or, you know, I’m happy for your accomplishments, but everybody deserves a chance,” right? So sometimes you yourself need to be like, Brash in order for your partner who might be Brash to understand, you know, where the boundaries are, where for nurturing of feelings, and making sure that whatever needs to be addressed is addressed. And you might have to do that in a brash way for Brash to understand. Alright, so, hope that makes sense.

All right, now we’re moving on to our third character. All right, so our third communication character communicator is Gray. So Gray is our timid communicator. Hello gray. So, Gray is going to be a type of person that is going to nurture the other person rather than nurture him or her Self. So Gray is a type of person that is fully aware of how the other person is feeling during the conversation. Gray is going to notice the subtle changes right away not to say that Gray gets it all the time. But Gray gets it, most of the times the majority of the time Gray is on top of it notices this shift in the conversation notices, the feeling of the other person based on perhaps the tone or the body language or something Gray is going to pick up on it because Gray is more concerned about how the other person is feeling in the conversation than about him or herself. So Gray is more like that observer and the communication group. Because again, Gray stepping back, you know, stepping away from being in the limelight. So Gray prefers to be just in the background and observing and processing. So Gray is going to be the one that observes and process what you are saying to him or her. And then from there, Gray is going to say, “okay, I can continue this path or Oh, the person– I sense that this person is not happy.” And you know, and so Gray is going to apologize and acknowledge like perhaps it was something he or she said or something that happened. So Gray is more wanting to have that peace and calm and you know, in the conversation and trying to avoid the conflict and the argument. So in that aspect, that’s why Gray is going to be more engaged and more aware of, you know, picking up any subtle hints to pick up the mood and a change in the conversation so that Gray can then move on and move away from any conflict or argument that might be creeping up. So that is why Gray is more likely to be aware of the subtle changes in the communication and the gestures and what have you saw that, again, Gray is wanting the person to feel like they are being nurtured and acknowledged that there’s might be a change. And then if, you know, Gray feels like he or she that caused the change will apologize and everything. Again, it’s all about trying to move away from the argument and a conflict.

Okay, so then we have Blend and Blend is our Shapeshifter communicator. So there’s Blend, all right. So, Blend, again, because Blend can sense the room sense the person, Blend is just going to see how the situation is what is happening, and then determine which communication character would best fit into the situation that will continue to nurture the feelings in a conversation with his or her partner. So according to Blend, whether Blend is going to be like Stance or Brash or Gray, it would all depend on the communication situation, what’s being discussed and where the changes and why they change. And then from there, Blend then can decide which of the communication character or characters will be best to address the changes in the communication and make sure to nurture it in a way so that again, it can be constructive, rather than destructive, because Blend is good at sensing the mood of the person or of the situation, he or she is just going to decide and choose the characters that were best fit the situation to continue to nurture the feeling in his or her communication.

And then, of course, the goal is for you to be the Communication Warrior. So this is you as the Communication Warrior, where you can communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires confidently openly. You know how to best nurture feelings in your communication. And if you don’t feel nurtured in your communication by your partner, you know how to communicate that with confidence so that you are being heard and understood by your partner so that you can have that happy and harmonious relationship with your partner.

So this is what being a Communication Warrior is all about. Now If you don’t feel like you’re a Communication Warrior yet, that’s okay. I’m going to invite you to visit my website, GraceSOULutions.com That’s GraceSOULutions.com to see how you can book a free Communication Breakthrough Session with me, where we will discover five obstacles that are stopping you, and one key thing that you can do to help to move you forward and in the next COMMUNICATES Game videos we’re going to see how the four characters Stance, Brash, Gray and Blend deal with inspiration in communication.

So until next time, have fun communicating!