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GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… STYLE of Communication

Do you know your style of communication?

What is your preferred style of communication?

What is the style of communication of the person or people you communicate with?

Are you able to communicate with people with all different communication styles or do you have difficulty with communicating with people with certain communication styles? Why or why not?

Usually when we talk about style we generally think about clothes.

There are numerous different styles of clothing and generally we tend to pick the styles that goes with our personality or make us feel most comfortable.

There are also communication styles and you’re likely to lean towards a communication style that fits your personality and one that you’re most comfortable with.

Generally speaking, there are four types of communication styles.

There is the auditory, visual, kinesthetic and auditory digital.

The auditory uses words such as listen and hear.

The visual uses words such as see and picture.

The kinesthetic uses words such as touch and feel.

The auditory digital uses words such as think and analyze.

Depending upon your background, culture, your communication teachers (parents, grandparents, family), and so forth there are other factors that may also potentially influence your communication style.

There are too many factors to include in this blog article that might create greater confusion.

So, for now we’re just going to focus on the four communication styles.

Why is it important to know the four communication styles?

Sometimes by using the same words in a communication style as the person you are speaking with may help to establish a better rapport and connection.

By speaking the same words and using the same communication style you might feel like you and the other person are speaking the same language rather than speaking a different language.

By speaking the same language or in this case communication style you can also help reduce or eliminate communication breakdown.

Wouldn’t you like to feel more connected with the person if the person spoke the same words or language as you did rather than his or her own words or language?

Here are four styles of communication:

Style #1 Auditory

Prefers to listen and likes to use words such as hear and listen in communication.

Style #2 Visual

Prefers to read or see images and likes to use words such as see and picture in communication.

Style #3 Kinesthetic

Prefers physical movements and likes to use words such as touch and feel in communication.

Style #4 Auditory Digital

Prefers logic and likes to use words such as think and analyze in communication.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you want to know the communication style of the person you are communicating with, just remember AVKA .

Auditory

Visual

Kinesthetic

Auditory Digital

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

GraceSOULutions Communicates… EXPRESS Yourself

What ways do you express yourself?

What does your body language say about your communication in the presence of others?

How aware are you when it comes to reading another person’s facial expression and body language in your communication?

Communication isn’t all about words and feelings, there’s another part: facial expression and body language.

The nonverbal part of communication is just as important.

You might say one thing, but your facial expression and body language can show the other person that you mean something else.

You might lie and tell the person you are happy to see them, but your body language might say something completely different. Especially if your body and feet are moving away from them.

You might have a smile on your face because you are in a crowd with other people, but under that smile of yours you might be doing something like telling your husband off.

I have done this so many times that no one can tell that I am mad at my husband unless they see my eyes because I haven’t quite learned how not to glare when I’m upset with him.

What do you do when you’re upset with someone and don’t want others to know?

You might be one of those people that crosses your arms. I certainly do and I have come to learn that when I do that it generally means I am not comfortable, especially in a room of strangers.

What about you? Why do you cross your arms?

I have learned that when I am frustrated or overwhelmed my face goes flat, eyes glaze over, and I have mentally checked out.

When I see my mom furrows her eyebrows that generally means that she is frustrated and overwhelmed. I can generally tell how frustrated and overwhelmed she is feeling by how hard she furrows her eyebrows.

What about you? What facial expression do you have when you are frustrated or overwhelmed?

Here are two nonverbal expressions that might give away how you feel without you realizing it:

Nonverbal #1 Facial expression

Your face sometimes says it all.

Nonverbal #2 Body language

Your body language may communicate how you really feel.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you want to express yourself or understand the nonverbal communication with someone you are communicating with, just remember to watch face and body.

Nonverbal #1 Facial expression

Nonverbal #2 Body language

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

GraceSOULutions Communicates… Tone Of Voice

What Is Your Usual Tone Of Voice? Sarcastic? Optimistic? Annoyed?

How does a person’s tone of voice impact your perception in your communication?

How do other people perceive your tone of voice and what impact does it have on you?

Some people are sensitive to other’s tone of voice and that can impact conversation depending upon the perception of what they hear.

Some people may have a sarcastic tone to their voice, others annoyed, or some are optimistic.

The tone of voice can be subjective.

Some may say a person’s tone of voice sounds sarcastic and another may say that they sounds authoritative.

You could say that there can be different perceptions to a person’s tone, and while it may not bother some, it may bother others.

You might have heard some people say that they try to sound uplifting but then come across as cynical. Despite the positive and encouraging words that are said the tone of voice comes across as if the person is a non-believer.

Your tone of voice is unique to you and sometimes you can’t actively change it.

Your tone of voice is a part of your personality.

When a person knows you well and knows how you communicate, they will start to understand your tone of voice and for the most part will accept it without judgement.

The person will be able to tell when you are happy, annoyed, sarcastic, and so on…

 

Here are four tips that might help you with the tone of voice (understanding the perception of tone of voice) in your communication.

Tip #1 T-True self

The tone you use or generally have in certain situations is uniquely yours. It is part of who you are. Your personality. That means there are some things you can’t change and that might be the tone of voice you use in certain situations due to your personality. There is no right or wrong about it, it’s just who you are.

Tip #2 O-Opinion

There can be differing opinions on the sound of a person’s tone of voice. Your perception will play a part as to what a person’s tone of voice might be even if it isn’t what the person intended.

Tip #3 N- Nature

Nature of personality. Some people are naturally uplifting, sarcastic, anxious and so forth. There is no right or wrong it is just being who you are.

Tip #4 E- Experience

The perception of the tone may be based upon your past experiences and encounters you’ve had from different people you have communicated with in the past that had that particular tone of voice.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you want better understand their tone of voice, just remember TONE.

True self

Opinion

Nature

Experience

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… Attention

Are You Certain Beyond A Doubt That You Have The Person’s Attention When You Deliver Your Message?

What ways are you certain that you have the person’s attention before sharing your message in your conversation?

What are some ways the person you are communicating with can gain your attention before sharing his or her message with you?

Have you ever found yourself in the following situation…

You’re sharing an important message while the person you are talking to is deeply focused on their television program.

Have you ever communicated to that person while you’re both in different rooms?

How about trying to share an important message during the morning rush?

If yes, then you most likely also have encountered communication breakdowns during these situations.

While you might have something important to say during the TV program, the person who is engrossed in the program might respond with ‘yes’ or ‘okay’ to shush you so that they can quickly listen and immediately continue watching their program.

Unless you both have super-duper hearing, words and messages can be missed which can cause misunderstandings and frustrations.

You might have an important message to pass on in the morning, but let’s be honest, neither of you are really interested because you just want to make sure you arrive at work on time and you’re thinking of your to-do list once you arrive at your workplace.

So, you’re probably think by now…what can I do to avoid or reduce communication breakdown due to lack of attention?

Glad you asked.

Here are some suggestions…

If you have an important message to share while they’re watching a television program you can either wait for it to finish or you can call the person’s name, mute the tv, and share your message. Depending on the program, the person may not be too happy if you mute the TV so you can also write it down, so you don’t forget and share it afterwards.

If you are in separate rooms either you actively walk to the person you want to talk to, or the person comes to you, so you don’t have to try to hear the words or messages through the wall. This way you can clearly hear each other’s words and messages in your conversation.

As for the morning rush, try to avoid sharing any important messages during that time. Try to share important messages at night when there is time or wake up early, so you have 10-15 minutes to spare to share any important messages in the morning.

Here are a couple of tips. These two tips might help you and the person you are communicating with to make sure that the message has been received and understood in your communication.

Tip #1 Repeat or Paraphrase

This will help both parties involved in the communication to know that the message was received and understood.

Tip #2 Clarify and Repeat or Paraphrase back (if needed)

If any information that was incorrect or unclear, this will give the person sharing the information to clarify and the person receiving the message to repeat or paraphrase back to make sure that all the messages received are clear and understood.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you want to deliver your message with proper attention with the person you are communicating with, just remember these two tips:

Tip #1 Repeat or Paraphrase

Tip #2 Clarify and Repeat or Paraphrase back (if needed)

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… CHERISH Relationships

What does cherishing relationship mean to you in regards to communication?

What ways do you cherish relationships with the people you communicate with?

What ways do you feel the people you communicate with cherish relationship with you?

In one of the trainings I attended, there was a speaker, Jeremy Daniel, who once said,

“You are 100% responsible for your relationship.”

You might agree or disagree with this statement.

Just realize that you can choose to have a good relationship or not. So, in a way you are responsible for your relationship. If you believe that you have a choice and you have control over having a good relationship or not, then you are and can be 100% responsible for your relationship.

Being responsible for your relationship and wanting to have a good relationship because you cherish it with specific people takes work.

Anytime you have to take care of something, or someone means you have to nurture it and make sure it’s effectively taken care of.

In one of my previous blog articles, I talked about nurture feelings and tips to nurture feelings in your communication. Nurture feelings is one of the ways to cherish relationships.

You show you cherish relationships by the words you use.

Think about what words you say in your communication when you are happy, sad, anxious, angry…

Are the words kind or critical and unconstructive?

Does the conversation you have with a person often lead to arguments? Why? Is it due to the lack of nurturing and the words being said within the conversation?

You can show the people you communicate with that you cherish relationship by having more constructive communication through nurturing and word choice.

Here are five tips that you can use that might help to show that you cherish relationship through words in your communication:

 

Tip #1 W-Wisdom

Your words have power so use it wisely. Use your wisdom when sharing your words.

Tip #2 O-Open

Be open to listening without judgement or the need to respond or reply. Validate what the other person has said by repeating it. It doesn’t mean you agree or disagree with what they said, it just means that you listened and heard.

Tip #3 R-Responsible

You are 100% responsible for your relationship. You have a choice in the words you say and the ways you nurture your relationships.

Tip #4 D-Deliberate

Be mindful of the words that are being spoken. Know the exact words you are saying and don’t just say the words that come into your head, especially during heated arguments.

Tip #5 S-Speak

Speak to each other not at each other. Allow each person to speak and finish his or her statement so no one is interrupted. Use a timer if necessary.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you want show that you cherish relationship in your communication, just remember WORDS.

Wisdom

Open

Responsible

Deliberate

Speak

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… IDEAS

What are some ideas that have sparked in your mind?

What ideas that you have or have not openly shared?

What are great ideas that you have recently come up with?

Why do you choose to share or not share your ideas?

In one of my previous blogs articles, I mentioned talking about and sharing opinions.

You might be asking what is the difference between opinions and ideas?

In my view, opinions are about topics that can have many different viewpoints that can be debated. Whereas ideas are about brainstorming and coming up with different options or solutions to solve a problem.

Sometimes you are willing to share your ideas and sometimes you might not feel so comfortable in sharing.

Why is that?

Is it due to fear? Fear that people might think your idea is stupid? Maybe that you think your idea is stupid?

Here’s the thing: there are no stupid ideas!

Think about all the inventions and activities that we now have. I am sure at one point someone thought that these ideas were stupid. However, many of the stupid ideas have been lucrative.

Need some examples or proof that there is no such thing as a stupid idea?!

Bungee jumping.

Who came up with the idea of bungee jumping? Who thought that it would be a good idea to tie your feet together with a big rubber band (elastic cord), jump over a great height so you can bounce back up, and keep bouncing up and down until all the kinetic energy dissipates?

Doesn’t that activity sound dangerous? It doesn’t seem like such a good idea when it comes to life and safety, and might you even say: stupid? But it can’t be all that stupid when you think about it.

And yet…There are people who are willing to pay to bungee jump and you can practically find a place that offers bungee jumping no matter where you live.

Electricity.

Who needed electricity when there were candles? People used candles to help them to see in the dark and they had animals such as horses to help them with large machinery.

Thomas Edison thought it would be a great idea to invent the light bulb and early electricity. I am sure there were many people during his lifetime that thought he was stupid for wanting to invent the light bulb when they already had tools to help them to see and do their daily chores.

And yet…look at us today! Where would we be if it wasn’t for Thomas Edison? I don’t know about you, but whenever my power goes out, I realize all things I can’t do and how much electricity is needed.

What I wanted to show you with these examples is that there are no stupid ideas. I am sure at one point these ideas were perceived as stupid and yet here they are for people to enjoy.

Of course, whether you choose to share your ideas is up to you. However, don’t let the fear of thinking that your idea might be stupid prevent you from sharing your idea.

Here are three tips that that might help you to feel comfortable with sharing your ideas in your communication:

 

Tip #1 See No Stupid: There are no stupid ideas (maybe some dangerous ideas or think twice ideas and yeah it didn’t work out ideas, but with some tweaking it could or did work ideas)

Some ideas may not work, but that doesn’t mean it was a stupid idea.

Tip #2 Speak No Stupid: Someone might have said ‘that’s stupid’, and yet…

At one point someone might have thought that an idea was stupid; however, think of how many of those stupid ideas came to fruition and became very lucrative.

Tip #3 Hear No Stupid: Sharing ideas is brainstorming

Sharing ideas simply means that you are brainstorming and coming up different options and solutions to solve a problem. When you brainstorm you are allowing the ideas to flow without judgement until there is no more to share.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you want to share your ideas in that communication context, just remember these three tips: See, Speak, Hear No Stupid.

Tip #1 See No Stupid

Tip #2 Speak No Stupid

Tip #3 Hear No Stupid

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… NURTURE (Feelings & Yourself)

What does the word nurture mean to you?

What ways do you nurture feelings in yourself and others in your communication?

Why do you nurture feelings in yourself and others in your communication, or not?

In one of my previous blogs articles, I talked about monitoring feelings. In this article I am talking about nurturing feelings in yourself and others in your communication.

What do I mean by nurture feelings?

How comfortable are you when people share their emotions or how comfortable are you with sharing your own emotions?

When people start to get emotional when talking about a subject, do you start to feel uncomfortable in a way that you change the subject or find an excuse to walk away? Or do you stay and comfort them?

Do you become emotional when you talk about a subject you are passionate about? Or do you remain calm and neutral?

How does the person you communicate with respond when you do become emotional about a subject being discussed?

To nurture feelings means that you are allowing yourself and the other person to feel whatever it is you and others are feeling in a conversation without any judgement.

There is no judgement that the feeling is right or wrong, just accepting that the feeling is there, and allowing it to be there.

You can also think about nurturing feelings in the context of self-care.

This can be by taking care of yourself like choosing healthy activities to help you to de-stress so that you don’t end up aggressively blowing up and emotionally blowing out.

Taking care of yourself also means using kind and gentle words when speaking to yourself and others.

When you or someone else makes a mistake, you are not overly critical, you gently acknowledge that a mistake was made, the solutions to solve the problem, and what can be done next time to avoid making that mistake again.

The key word is gentle. Gentle means that we are not name calling such as using the words “idiot”, “stupid”, “worthless”, or “useless” when talking to ourselves or others. There is no blaming or finger pointing at yourself or at the other person for the mistake that was make. And there is no yelling or screaming at yourself or others.

Afterall, is it necessary to blame or yell? And did it promote a positive and productive outcome?

I’m guessing not.

I’m willing to bet that GENTLE would promote a more positive and productive outcome.

Here are six tips that you can use that might help to nurture feelings and yourself in your communication:

portrait of a lovely senior couple inside a coffee shop

Tip #1 Gracious

Be gracious (kind) with yourself and others especially when mistakes are made.

Tip #2 Expression

Express yourself by using and saying nice constructive words to yourself and others.

Tip #3 Nourish

Nourish yourself with healthy thoughts, food, and activities to help to reduce stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Tip #4 Time Out

Take time out to breathe. Deep/slow diaphragmatic breathing helps to reduce stress, anxiety, and frustration. Breathe in nice and slow and blow out nice and slow…smell the rose and blow out the candle.

Tip #5 Look After

Look after yourself and others. It is okay to take care of and look after yourself before taking care of others. You can only take care of others when you are healthy and well to avoid blow up and blow out.

Tip #6 Empower

Empower yourself and others by accepting and allowing the different emotions and viewpoints in your communication without the judgement of right or wrong.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you want to nurture feelings and yourself in your communication, just remember to be GENTLE.

Gracious

Expression

Nourish

Time out

Look after

Empower

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… Confidence

What does confidence mean to you?

What can you do to communicate with confidence?

Why do you want to communicate with confidence? What value will you gain if you communicated with confidence with a specific person or persons?

What does communicate with confidence look like to you?

Have you ever had this image in your mind?

You are in a room with the person you want to speak with, and you speak with that person with confidence.

The both of you are engaged in the conversation and you understand each other.

For once, you felt that someone heard what you said and understood exactly what you meant. The conversation felt so effortless, and you ended up feeling you had an effective conversation with that person.

Only what you imagined was not the reality.

The reality is, you stumble over words leaving you feeling small, and what you really want to do is hide and blend in with the background.

When you do take the courage to speak, you feel like no one listens or hears what you are saying, and this leaves you feeling like no one understands you or your message.

There are many parts to communication and the first one we are going to look at is communicating with confidence.

Here are three tips to communicating with confidence:

Tip #1 Smile.

A smile can brighten a person’s day, a room, as well as brighten up your mood which most likely will help to boost your confidence.

Tip #2 Stand up straight.

I am sure you have heard someone during your lifetime tell you to stand up straight. Standing up straight is not only good for your posture, but it will make you feel tall and confident.

I don’t know about you, but when I stand up straight at 5 feet 2 inches tall, I feel really confident as if I am standing at the same height as the person I am talking to even if that person is standing at 6 feet 2 inches tall.

Tip #3 Speak clearly.

There are many people who are fast talkers and if you are one of them, that’s fine as long as you speak clearly. There are some fast talkers out there where all the words and sounds end up sounding mushed together and it sounds like they are making up their own words that I didn’t even know existed.

There might be a few reasons you are speaking fast. One is either you want to get the message out before you forget the important points you to wanted to share, or maybe you just want to get out of the conversation quickly because you’re not comfortable in the situation. Or you speak fast to sound as if you are mumbling because you might not be comfortable or confident with the message you are sharing with the other person, so you are casually glossing it over. Perhaps you have your own reasons to speak fast that I didn’t mention.

Remember that there are people that are good at processing information at a fast rate while others require more time. Depending upon the person’s ability to process the information you are providing they may or may not catch up which may cause some confusion and misunderstanding at times.

You don’t have to speak slow like a sloth either.

You want to speak at a pace that is comfortable for you and one that can also be easy for other people to understand. When you speak at that comfortable pace you exude confidence.

The next time you want to speak with Confidence just use the Three S-tips (this is the name I use to help me to remember) to Communicate with Confidence:

Tip #1 Smile

Tip #2 Stand up Straight

Tip #3 Speak Clearly

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… Opinions

Are you afraid of conflicts so you avoid it as much as possible?
What are some opinions that you have that other people may agree or disagree with?
What opinions are you willing or unwilling to share with others?
Why are you willing to share your opinions or not?

Everyone has an opinion, and I am sure you have an opinion about something. I know I do.

Whether or not you are comfortable sharing your opinion with other people may be in question based on how comfortable you are with sharing your opinion with others.

How comfortable are you when someone agrees or disagrees with your opinions? Or a better question might be how comfortable does a person make you feel when you agree or disagree with them?

The person’s response or reaction when you share your opinion may either make you feel comfortable in sharing your opinion further or make you feel that perhaps it’s better to keep your opinion to yourself to avoid any conflict, especially when you or the other person has a disagreeing point of view.

Here are five tips or questions to ask yourself before you consider sharing your opinions:

Tip #1 TRUE, is it true?

Are there facts that can back up your opinion? Are there facts that can back up the other person’s opinion when there are differing opinions?

Tip #2 HELPFUL, is it helpful?

Is the information being shared helpful to each person? How is it helpful? Does it bring more knowledge or value to each of the people involved?

Tip #3 INSPIRING, is it inspiring?

Does the discussion of the opinions inspire the person to take action? What action might that be? Does it inspire growth, learning, or wisdom?

Tip #4 NECESSARY, is it necessary?

Is it necessary to persuade the other person to think the way that you do? Is it necessary for you think the way that person wants you to? Is it necessary to continue the conflict when both parties are unable to agree?

Tip #5 Kind, is it kind?

Are the words you say and use impeccable? It is okay to disagree and have arguments; however, are the words being used during the argument kind? You can state the way you feel and think without name calling and being vicious.

The next time you are in a communication situation, and you are not sure whether or not to share your opinion, just remember THINK:

Is it True ?

Is it Helpful ?

Is it Inspiring ?

Is it Necessary ?

Is it Kind ?

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

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Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

GraceSOULutions COMMUNICATES… Messages (Hidden)

What hidden messages have you discovered or understood behind words that were spoken to you? 

What are some messages or meanings you have hidden behind your spoken words?
Why is it easy or difficult for others to understand those hidden message behind your words?
Why is it easy or difficult for you to hear and understand other people’s hidden message behind their spoken words?

Depending upon your background and the culture you grew up in, you may or may not understand about the hidden messages spoken behind words.

Here is an example: If you’ve ever watched the TV show ‘Fresh Off The Boat’ there was an episode that really jumped out at me.

In the episode where Jessica and her sister talked on the phone and Jessica’s sister was saying how excited she was to visit her family for Thanksgiving, there was a subtext of the meaning behind each of the words being spoken.

Even though we may understand the literal words, there was a hidden message, a subtext of the meaning behind those spoken words between the sisters.

I can tell you… this is very common in Asian culture. I know because I lived and continue to live with it throughout my life.

I have always needed to be careful about what I said because the meaning behind the words is just as equally important, and I dared not to offend anyone or try to get myself or anyone in trouble.

Through years of training with my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and all the other Asian adults and children I have encountered, I have become highly skilled in understanding the hidden messages behind their spoken words.

My husband, on the other hand, did not and continues to try to learn this skill of understanding the hidden message. You see my husband is Scottish and his family members are very direct.

What they say is exactly what they mean, but I have discovered that sometimes even with his family there would be a bit of meaning behind their conversations. However, I would say at least 90-95% of the time there were no hidden messages behind their spoken words.

In my family though, 95-100% of the time there are definitely hidden messages behind the spoken words.

If you are thinking it is difficult and complicated to speak with my family, you are correct!

Even the questions that my family ask have hidden meanings behind them. A simple ‘how are you’ doesn’t just mean ‘how are you?’ It can mean how is your job, are you still living in the same apartment, when are you going to…?

I had to teach my husband about understanding the hidden messages, hidden questions, subtext, reading between the lines, and so on.

Here are three tips that I shared with my husband that may help you to understand the hidden messages behind the spoken words, the subtext, and read between the lines, so to speak:

Tip #1 Rationale for the question asked or statement made

What information is the person trying to obtain or want you to know? Is it for their benefit or yours?

Tip #2 Eye contact/Body language

How are they looking at you when they ask you the question or telling you the information? Are they looking at you or giving you a side view?

Are they leaning towards you or away? Are they stiff or relaxed? This can show you how interested they are and that they want you to know what they are really asking you. Or what they want you to know behind their hidden messages.

Tip #3 Tone of voice

If you can’t see them and they can’t see you, then you can rely on the tone of voice. Is the voice a bit stiff, formal, relaxed, a fake smile behind the words, warmth, etc? This will tell you about the hidden messages behind the spoken words.

So the next time you are in a communication situation where you need to understand hidden messages or respond to hidden message, just remember RET and KISS.

R– Rational for question or statement

E– Eye contact

T– Tone of voice

Use KISS (Keep It Short and Simple) when responding to the hidden message!

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then you should take a look at my ebook 5 Strategies For Effective Companion Communication! Grab your free copy by signing up below:

Get The eBook

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

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