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Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Awareness of Words and Actions)

Sometimes you can become upset, even overwhelmingly so, that you might not be aware of your actions.

You might not even be aware of the words that are coming out of your mouth.

You know you’re angry and upset, and your expression shows it.

How aware are you of what you’re saying and acting during the moment of anger?

Do you later regret your actions and what’ve you said during the heat of the moment?

Do you wonder what you did or said while you were upset?

You might’ve felt like it was an out of body experience and something, maybe some kind of energy took over you, and you felt like you had no control over your mind and body.

You just acted out and said what you said because you were just that angry and you just let whatever came to your brain fly out.

What if you stopped for a moment and took a good look at your actions and words as if you were an outsider observing your situation?

If you were the observer, what would you think or say about the situation you just observed of someone yelling, hitting, swearing, etc. during the heat of the moment?

Would it scare you or would you think “if it was me, I would do xyz?”

It’s easy to say what you would do differently when you’re calm and not in that moment. But what if you were in that moment?

Could you stop yourself and take a pause so that you didn’t continue the destructive path?

Could you say to yourself, “no, enough of this, we can disagree and have a constructive conversation through our disagreement?”

What would a constructive conversation during a heated disagreement look like?

How could you have that constructive conversation during a dispute when you’re upset and angry?

Afterall, this is real life and you’re not on some tv show where the scripts are written out and you memorize the lines during an argument.

There are, however, some things you can do.

Yes, I’m well aware of what I’m going to share with you will sound easy. But it may feel hard to do especially when you’re upset and angry.

It’s easy to give advice, and to follow suggestions when you’re calm and not involved in the moment.

This is where awareness becomes important. When you’re aware you can take control of the situation before the situation takes control of you.

The first thing is to be aware of your mind and body. Be aware of your thoughts and how your body is feeling.

Be aware of when you know you’re going to explode and stop yourself by taking a deep breath.

Now take a few more deep breaths.

This is the challenging part; however, remember that you’re in control.

While the other person might be speaking or yelling, restrain yourself from reacting, and continue to take deep breaths until you’re in enough control to address the situation.

Actively notice what you’re noticing, be aware of your surroundings, and the feelings in your body.

The next tricky part: you’re not going to react, you’re going to respond by being mindful of the words that you say.

The words are deliberate and you know exactly what you’re saying with conscious thought.

You’re no longer saying the first thing that comes out of your brain.

You’re being mindful of exactly what you’re saying to express your feelings, and you have the awareness of the way you’re delivering the message with the use of your body language, facial expression, and tone of voice.

You’re in control of the situation through the awareness of the words you’re saying and how you’re saying it with the use of your body language, facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice during the argument.

When the situation or argument is controlling you, you lose your awareness, and that is when you say whatever comes out of your mouth, and act and behave whatever reflexively comes to you.

 

 

Do you want to be in control, or do you want the situation and argument to control you?

 

The take away here is to be aware of your words and actions so that you’re in control of the situation or argument and not the other way around.

I’m not going to say that it is easy to do; however, it can be done with practice.

Practice being mindful of your words and actions during any conversation whether it be while you’re calm or in an argument with your partner is the start to awareness.

The Objective of the Game

The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re aware of your words and actions especially during the heat of an argument.

There are times where the situation or argument might get the best of you; however, were able to stop it or reduce the destructive conversation?

If you managed to control the situation and argument through awareness of your words and actions… That’s a win!

If you allowed moments of the situation or argument getting the best of you, and controlled you rather than you controlling it, then guess what?

You learned without losing.

Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.

Learning points in this example might be:

  • What can you do differently next time so that you can control the situation or argument through awareness?
  • Why did you lose control of your words or anger in the first place?
  • What can you do better so that you’re more aware of your words and actions during an argument next time?

You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable when you want to be in control of the situation or argument and not the other way around.

This is the Communication Warrior.

 

You know your way to becoming aware of your words and actions… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!

If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.

Book Your Session

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

Choices | The COMMUNICATES Game

If you’re a sensitive, introverted, conflict phobic person who is also a people pleaser, and you would love to openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires, without the fear of arguments or criticisms, so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship with your partner. Stay tuned for fun and valuable information.

Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to The Communication Warrior Game, or what I like to call The COMMUNICATES Game. Now, if you have missed the other videos, in this communicates game video series, that’s okay. Stay here for now. And you can always catch up with the other videos later on.

So in today’s video, in the communicate game, we’re going to talk about choices. Now, sometimes you might have a choice, and it might affect your partner. And in some situations, your partner might agree with your choice or the decision you’re going to make. And sometimes you’re going to make a choice that is good for you. However, your partner may not understand it. And so therefore, there might be some disagreements, or one of you might need to back down or a compromise is going to be made. So what to do when your partner doesn’t agree with the choice that you are making, or a decision that you want to make for yourself. And one of the situations it might be about self development. Right? In a lot of cases, a lot of the choices that we make for ourselves, can lead to improving our self development for self growth. So you might be wanting to lose some weight, or learn to communicate with your partner better. And so you’re looking at programs and you feel like there’s a coach that can help you. But then money comes into play. And so you are making a choice that, “hey, I would love to join this program.” But because of budget or financial reasons, your partner may not agree. So you’re making a choice that you would love to participate. However, there might be some money restrictions attached to it. So what do you do in that situation? What do you do when your partner doesn’t agree with you, or perhaps you feel like your partner may not support you, because there’s other pressing matters, that needs to be taken care of first.

So let’s check in with our four communication characters, and see how they would deal with the situation when they’re faced with choices and how they would communicate it to their partner. So our first communication character is Stance, and Stance is our confident communicator. So welcome Stance.

Alright, so Stance realizes that he or she has a choice. And yes, the choice can impact the family in general, right? Again, let’s just use the example of say, wanting a coach to help with self development. And let’s say it’s for weight loss, or better health, how about let’s do better health because health is important, right? If you don’t have good health, you’re not going to be able to do your job or take care of the person or even take care of yourself. So let’s in this case, let’s talk about improving better health. And so Stance sees a program that could help improve his or her health and of course there’s money attached to it. And in Stance’s mind, it is a lot of money. However, Stance feels like if we budget well, he or she could afford this program. However, Stance’s partner may not understand the program and feel like it could be a waste of money, because scans can just eat healthy and that will be enough and Stance’s mind Stance feels that he or she requires further coaching or further support to help to make sure that the habit sticks. So, Stance realizes that he or she has a choice and your choice will affect the family or the partner. So Stance is going to perhaps present his or her case, right? Present why he or she wants to participate in the program. And Stance may tell his or her partner in a way that’s says, “you know, I understand that you might not agree with me. And you might feel like I can do this on my own. However, for me, personally, I feel I could use an additional support somebody who will hold me accountable, and help me to make this habit stick. So, although you may not agree with me, I would just love for you to support me, just support me. You know, as far as the money is concerned, I understand your concern with you know, the amount. However, I have figured out some budgeting of how I can afford this program without really harming the budget.” So Stance is just going to stand in his or her own power in another words in their own confidence that they acknowledge that their partners may not understand or want to– or feel that it is necessary for Stance to be in the program. Stance understands that his or her partner may not understand why they want to participate in the in the program because they are not wanting to be in a program, right? It’s not for them, but it is for Stance. So Stance acknowledges that, that they may not understand his or her partner may not understand why Stance wants to be in this program. However, they’re not looking for so much of approval, because they already kind of figured out how it can work out. They’re just looking for their partner just to support just to say, yes, okay, I may not understand it. But if this is something you want to do, and you figure it out how to do it, then yes, go ahead and do what you need to do. And if you need an accountability partner, then tell me what I can do to support you and be your accountibility partner when you’re finished with the program, perhaps so Stance’s is just going to be very clear on what he or she requires. So moving on to our next character.

All right here we have Brash and Brash is our arrogant communicator, and Brash is going to be a type of person that perhaps is say, “you know, I have made my choice, you don’t have to agree with me, I’ve made it, I’ve done it, it’s a done deal.” So Brash is just going to do whatever is necessary to help him or herself, right. And they don’t mind whether or not you agree, they have already just put out their credit card number of purchases, and just say, you know what it’s paid for. And whatever else happens, we will figure it out. But I know this is for me, and I’m just gonna go ahead and go right for it. And that is Brash’s choice, he, he or she has made that choice and made a decision that this is a program for them. They say yes, I want it and they’ve done it. And all the finances everything else, they will figure it out as it comes along. Right. But they know that this is what they need. They’ve made the choice, and they have gone for it. And that is Brash. Brash is just, I know what I want, go out for it. And then everything else will all be figured out as they come through. That’s more or less how Brash is going to be regarding to his or her choice. They know what they want. And they go for it. All right, so that’s Brash. And let’s see our next character.

All right, we have Gray, and Gray is our timid communicator. Now Gray knows what he or she wants, and you will love to make that choice of being in the program. However, Gray is going to take an account of everything that budget what the spouse says. And then most likely, a majority of the cases, Gray’s choice is going to be impacted by the other factors, the budget factor, the spouse, and so Gray might just be willing to pause right and hold off actually enrolling in the program. So in Gray’s mind, Gray is going to say well, if not today, and I’m sure this program will be offered again. Gray might be willing just to say you know what? I can’t do it this time but I’ll save up so that perhaps the next time it’s offered, I will be able to enroll in it then. In the majority of situations, Gray is going to be the one that perhaps realize the choice will be good for him or her. However, because of all the other situations, they’re not going to just say, Well, you know, this is what I want, and I’m just going to step into it, they’re going to, most likely, say “Well, I see, you know, what my spouse says, I see the situation, you know, I’m willing to hold off on this choice for now. And I’ll work on saving it up. So the next time the program comes around, I can then enroll in a choice.” And sometimes, and in some situations, Gray might not even be sure if the choice is right for him or herself. So, sometimes Gray might actually go to the partner or go to some other person, a friend or family member, and ask for their advice and say, “Hey, there’s this program. I like it for this and this reason, you know, obviously, there’s some budget things going on. However, I’m not really sure because you know, I’m committed.” But then, of course, there’s time factors, all these other things that comes up. And then I’m in some situations that the choices the decision is made for Gray. You know, people might say, “well, you know, I would probably wait, maybe you can save it up for later. Or, you know, it sounds like you’re interested in a program, however, you know, do you really want to put more things on your plate,” you know, so majority is a situation. So because Gray is not entirely sure whether or not he or she should participate in the program, a lot of times Gray will rely on other people’s advice. And then from there to make the decision of whether or not to participate. So in some situations, it appears that Gray’s choices are made by other people, you know, by the partner or family member or friends, a lot of the times it feels like Gray is not making his or her own choice. So much as sometimes in some situations, it feels like other people are helping Gray to decide or choose whether or not to be in a program. So again, because Gray is, you know, looking at it from all different aspects. And then from their wanting to make the best choice that is more or less for the other people, rather than really looking down for him or herself. You know, Gray is a timid communicator. So Gray again, most likely don’t want to create a conflict. So he’s– he or she’s looking for advice and seeing what the majority of the people think. And then almost making the decision or the choice based on what the popular choice is from other people from the feedback that Gray is getting. So again, there’s not a right or wrong way of making choices is just each communication character, whether it be Stance, Brash or Gray. They’re making the choices and the decisions based on their comfort level based on their personality, and based on so many other different factors. But Gray again, is most likely going to be making a choice based on what the popular vote might be. Even though Gray may feel this program is good for him or her however, again, they’re not entirely sure and so they’re going out and kind of almost collecting the votes and see you know, should Gray actually participate or not in some ways. Not all situations not all to the communicator make choices that way. But in some cases in the majority of cases, perhaps we don’t know all the situations however a majority of cases, timid would make choices based off of kind of like I said popular votes.

All right. And then we have Blend there is Blend so Blend is our Shape Shifter communicator. And so Blend when given a choice may blend and become either Stance or Brash or Gray, right. Sometimes depending upon the situation or the program I’m where the cost Blend is either going to sometimes be like Stance, be like Brash or be like Gray. So, again, Blend can kind of sense the mood sense the situation, and sense whether or not the program is really truly right for him or her. So from there, again, Blend might decide, you know, I’m gonna be like Stance in this situation or I might be like Brash or I might be like Gray when talking to my partner, or a friend or whoever it is about the program that I’m looking to enroll. So Blend is going to say, you know, this is the program, I want to talk to my partner about it. Now, because of this program because of the cause. Today, it’s going to be more like Stance, or it might be more like Brash or a maybe more like Gray. Again, depending upon the situation depending upon, you know, how Blend truly feels about the program.

And then this is what we want you to feel when communicating your choice with your partner, you as a Communication Warrior. You. This is you as the Communication Warrior, where you feel confident, and you can openly communicate your choices to your partner, “hey, I have this program is you know, this is a good fit for me, I can budget we can work it out.” You feel open and confident and communicating to your partner what it is that you want, and why you want to participate in a program, why it’s worth it to you why you feel that this program is a big value for you, for you to right now be in it. And so you no longer feel like you need to hide that, right? You feel like a Communication Warrior, where you are just open and confident and communicating to your partner. And knowing exactly what you need from your partner, whether it’d be support, or it’d be I know exactly how to budget you don’t need to worry about it. Or just to say you know, I’m not really sure. And I would really appreciate your feedback just so I can have a bit more information from, you know, what your thoughts are your perspective, whatever it is that you require, you know how to ask for it.

So that is what a Communication Warrior is all about. It’s about you being confident and communicating what it is that you want, and what it is that you require from your partner. And if you don’t feel like you’re a Communication Warrior yet, that’s okay. I invite you to visit my website, GraceSOULutions.com. That’s GraceSOULutions.com. To see how you can book a free communication breakthrough session with me, where we will discover five obstacles, and one step

that will help you to move forward to becoming a Communication Warrior where you can openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires without the fear of arguments or criticisms so that you can have that happy and harmonious relationship with your partner without ever feeling lonely in your relationship. And in the next video, we’re going to see how the four characters how Stance, Brash, Gray and Blend are going to deal with awareness, awareness of their actions and their communication.

So keep your eyes out for the next video on awareness of action. And again, thank you for being here.

Now go out and have fun communicating!

Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Choose Your Path)

Everyone has a certain path or journey that he or she is traveling on during his or her lifetime.

Including you.

As you travel on your path during your journey, choices or opportunities will be presented to you.

You will look at your opportunities and choices and decide the one that is best for you at that moment.

Sometimes the choices you make (or want to make) may not make sense to the people you have relationships with.

I will share with you, my story.

When I decided and chose to be an entrepreneur or solopreneur, my husband couldn’t understand why I would go down this path when I had a steady job as a speech-language pathologist.

I earned a good income working in hospitals and as a travel therapist.

I wanted time, money, and freedom and chose a path where I could dictate my own time and money.

I couldn’t see myself having time and money freedom if I continued to work as a speech-language pathologist.

I can honestly tell you that my husband didn’t like my decision in choosing to be a solopreneur and giving up a steady income; however, that is the path I have chosen, and I have stuck with it.

Is it stubbornness on my part? Perhaps.

Is it that I believe in myself and believe that I can do it and succeed as a solopreneur? Absolutely!

My husband is supportive with what I am doing and working on, and he does his best to show his support.

I am more of a risk taker than my husband, if you can’t tell already.

I appreciate him doing his best to show his support even if he might not agree with my choice or decision.

Sometimes that will happen. Either you’ll make the choice that your partner doesn’t agree with or vice versa.

Here’s the thing.

Your partner can still support you and show their support even if they doesn’t agree with you and vice versa.

If you want to have a happy and harmonious relationship, then you are going to have to allow the person to make certain choices or decisions for themselves that differ from yours.

You want to be able to communicate your thoughts of choices or decisions you want to make for yourselves. That will benefit you and your partner.

Likewise, you want your partner to feel like they can communicate to you their thoughts about choices or decisions they want to make to better your lives together.

Sometimes your partner (or you) may not be comfortable with the choice or decision that is presented because of fear.

Fear of failure, fear of money (lack of money), fear of (fill-in-the-blank), and what-ifs (something bad happens).

Fear is good at keeping people and you at status quo.

When you follow your heart and do what you love, then you’ll be able to conquer your fear.

Afterall there is a saying, “Love can conquer fear.”

I’m not going to say that you won’t encounter obstacles and challenges along the way because you will.

I’ve had encountered my fair share of challenges and obstacles along my journey.

What I will say is that you’ll be able to overcome your obstacles and challenges because everything is figureoutable.

That I know from my own personal experience.

I would also like to add that…

Choose Your Path can also mean that you are choosing activities that will benefit your relationship with your partner such as choosing the way you communicate so that you can have more constructive conversations rather than destructive conversations with your partner.

Choosing to be aware of the way you communicate and how you communicate with your partner, choices or decisions will be presented to you during your lifetime and you want to be able to communicate your choices or decisions with your partner.

Your partner should also feel like they can communicate their choices or decisions with you.

The choices or decisions may be presented to the individual; however, the choice or decision made may impact the relationship.

Likely the choice or decision made will be the one that would benefit the relationship.

It’s about choosing the path, being able to discuss your choices and decisions. Having that support even if the person disagrees with you.

Also, choosing to have constructive conversations rather than destructive conversations when discussing choices or decisions.

The Objective of the Game

The ‘winning’ objective is that you allow the person to make the choice or decision that is best for him or her and give support even if you don’t agree.

The choice or decision made will benefit the relationship rather than hinder the relationship.

If you managed to openly communicate your thoughts and the choices or decisions you’re making, and your partner supports you even if he or she might not agree with you…That’s a win!

If you and your partner couldn’t openly communicate thoughts, and the choices or decisions because of fear, that’s okay. Guess what?

You learned without losing.

Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.

Learning points in this example might be:

  • What can you do differently next time so that you can share your thoughts and choices while asking for support?
  • What are the fears towards the choices or decisions?
  • Why do you have these fears?
  • What can you do to have constructive conversation when sharing your choices or decisions when partner doesn’t or might not agree with you?

You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable when making the choice or decision that will be best for you and that will benefit you and your partner.

This is the Communication Warrior.

You know your way to choose your path… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!

If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.

Book Your Session

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

Inspiration | The COMMUNICATES Game

If you’re a sensitive, introverted and conflict phobic person, who would love to be able to communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires, without the fear of arguments and criticisms, so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship with your partner, so that you will never feel lonely again in your relationship. Stay tuned for fun and valuable information.

Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to COMMUNICATES Game video series. Now, if you have missed the previous six videos that I have created so far, don’t worry, stay here for now. And you can always catch up with those videos later on.

So in today’s video, we’re going to be talking about inspiration in communication. So the definition of inspiration is to make someone feel they want to do something and can do it. So my inspiration for you is that you can communicate openly and honestly of your thoughts, feelings and desires, so that you are seen, heard and understood by your partner, so that you can have that happy and harmonious relationship with your partner. So let’s look at the four characters, and how they deal with inspiration and conversation.

So our first character is Stance, and Stance is our confident communicator. Hello Stance. So Stance is going to be the type of person that inspires you and your conversation. So if you had a question for Stance, perhaps you wanted an advice, or you have an idea, Stance is most likely going to be the type of person that will inspire you through advice, or suggestions, or just even by giving you support. So Stance is the type of person that wants to inspire you. When engaging in conversation, you can bet on Stance most likely will always have your back. And perhaps you are like Stance. Perhaps you aren’t the one that inspires your partner in your communication. Or perhaps you’re the one that always has your partner’s back. No matter what the situation. Or the idea that perhaps your partner shares with you, you will always have his or her back, and perhaps your like, again, like Stance, giving sound advice, at the same time allowing the person to make his or her final decision. You’re just willing to support your partner, even when perhaps you might not agree with your partner’s choice. So perhaps your partner’s like Stance or perhaps you are like Stance where you are inspiring each other in your conversation.

So this is Brash. So Brash our arrogant communicator. Now, Brash is going to be the type of person that perhaps will inspire him or herself. And perhaps you are like Brash, there are many people now who are making the decision or choices to become an entrepreneur or solopreneur. And perhaps you are one of those people that have decided to become an entrepreneur or solopreneur. And when you make the decision to become an entrepreneur or solopreneur, perhaps no one was really on your side. Perhaps you got the advice of stay in your day job, right? Because there is a mindset around having a stable income and being an entrepreneur and solopreneur of course there are risks. So perhaps you weren’t really inspired to become a solopreneur or entrepreneur, however you decided to take bold steps to take that bold action and inspire yourself instead to become an entrepreneur or solopreneur to believe in yourself that you can succeed. So that is the type of person that Brash and that might be you where you are inspiring yourself. You are inspiring yourself to take bold action, when perhaps other people are telling you not to, because of fear, however, you’re going to take that bold action that is best for you, in spite of having fear. So perhaps your partner, or the person you’re communicating with might be like, Brash, where he or she inspires him or herself. And perhaps you’re like, Brash, where you need to inspire yourself to take bold action, especially when it comes to risk. The higher the risk, the more bold action is needed, and more inspiration for yourself, where you need to inspire yourself becomes important, because you need to believe in yourself. And when you believe yourself to succeed, then you’ll start to take the necessary actions that will help you to achieve your goal. So in this case, Brash again is going to be the type of person that will inspire him or herself. And perhaps again, you’re like Brash, and you’re taking bold action, to inspire yourself to achieving your goal that you believe that you can accomplish. And you know that you can accomplish it because of your belief in you.

All right, and next, we have Gray, and Gray is our timid communicator, Gray is most likely going to get inspiration from others. So Gray is most likely going to be the type of person that will ask for other people’s advice, ask for other people’s suggestions, ideas, opinions, gather it all up, because Gray is getting inspiration from others, and helping him or her to make the choice to make the decision perhaps, or to decide whether or not to proceed and move forward based upon the ideas, suggestions and opinions that is given to Gray. So in other words, Gray is getting inspiration from others, and then from others from the suggestions and choices and advice and opinions from others, then we’ll decide whether or not to proceed forward based on the feedback that Gray is getting. And perhaps you are like Gray, where you have a big decision to make. Or perhaps you’re looking for the next title of your book, or perhaps you’re looking for something that is really important in your life. And so you would like to have other people’s ideas and suggestions, and perhaps from receiving other people’s ideas, advice and suggestions and opinions, then from there, you perhaps might get inspired as to what is the next step for you to move forward.

Here and then our next character is Blend. And Blend is our Shape Shifter communicator. So Blend is going to be the type of person because he or she can sense the mood of the person sense the situation that’s going on in the conversation. Blend is then going to be able to choose which character or characters that will be best to either inspire or be inspired in the conversation. And sometimes you might be like Blend, perhaps sometimes you need to inspire or inspire yourself in your conversation. And sometimes you might need to be inspired from other people and you can determine that by the situation and what is going on. So again, you might be speaking to someone who is like Blend, sometimes the person might inspire you or be inspired. And sometimes it might be you that is Blend, where you are inspiring someone or being inspired. Or perhaps you just need to inspire yourself like Brash. So again, Blend is able to shift and choose the character that best fits the situation that is needed in the conversation.

And the goal is for you to be The Communication Warrior. Where you can openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires and know how to inspire others, when to inspire yourself, and when you need to be inspired from others. So you confidently and openly are able to know when to inspire others when you need to be inspired, when you need to inspire yourself, and when you need to be inspired from others. So you are able to confidently and openly communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires and inspire the way you need to, either for the person you’re speaking to, or for yourself, so that you get the inspiration that you need. And you give the inspiration to others as needed, so that you have that harmonious and happy relationship.

And if you don’t feel like you’re a communication warrior yet, that’s okay. I invite you to visit my website, GraceSOULutions.com. That’s GraceSOULutions.com. To see how you can book a free Communication Breakthrough Session with me where we will discover five obstacles that stopping you. And one key thing that you can do to help you to move forward.

In the next video in the COMMUNICATES Game video series. We’re going to see how the four characters Stance, Brash, Gray, and Blend deal with choosing the path in communication. So stay tuned for that.

And until next time, have fun communicating!

Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Inspiration)

It doesn’t matter if you’re playing an actual board game, sports, the game of life, or a communication game, who doesn’t want to be inspired or want to inspire?

The definition of inspire means “to make someone feel that they want to do something and can do it”.

You can have a fun and constructive communication with your partner so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship.

You and your partner can inspire each other to have constructive communication where you can openly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires without argument and criticism so that you’re feeling heard and understood.

Relationships are like a garden. Communication is part of that garden.

In order to have a beautiful and plentiful garden you need to tend to it and relationships are the same way.

In your garden you might plant some flowers and vegetables like roses and tomatoes.

The flowers and vegetables grow when they have been properly taken care of such as getting rid of weeds or pests.

It’s the same way with your relationships. For you to create a happy and harmonious relationship you need to cultivate your communication by getting rid of destructive communication.

You can cultivate a fun and constructive communication by being open-minded, willing to listen without judgement, throwing in some humor when appropriate, being supportive, and be inspired or inspire your partner.

You can inspire each other to have a happy and harmonious relationship by cultivating your communication so that it continues to grow and maintain good health.

The truth is that if you don’t cultivate (and continue to cultivate) your communication, then, like weeds that grow in the garden that can kill your flowers and vegetables, destructive communication can cause massive problems.

Destructive communication can smother and kill your relationships.

When communication is destructive with an abundance of arguments, criticism, an unwillingness to listen, this leads to a path of unwillingness to communicate. And when partners no longer want or think they can communicate with each other, then the relationship will deteriorate.

You can choose whether or not you want a happy and harmonious relationship. If you do then one of the important parts to having a happy and harmonious relationship is being able to communicate with one another.

That is the inspiration of cultivating constructive communication.

The truth is that you do have to work on cultivating your communication if you want to grow and have a happy and harmonious personal relationship.

Cultivating your communication doesn’t have to be hard work if you consistently work on it.

Just think of your relationship as your garden and the communication as your plant, flower, or vegetable.

If you want a beautiful relationship like your garden, then you’re going to work on getting rid of destructive communication which is like your weeds in your garden for your communication to grow in a constructive way so that you can continue to have a beautiful relationship with your partner.

You and your partner are inspired and inspire each other to grow your beautiful relationship together by cultivating your communication by removing the weeds of destructive communication so that you can maintain healthy constructive communication no matter the topic of conversation.

 

 

Yes, you’re going to need to work on and continue to work on your communication for you to have a happy and harmonious relationship. It’s just like your garden.

It’s about doing your best to inspire and cultivate constructive communication so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship in your personal communication.

The Objective of the Game

The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re inspired, and you’ve inspired your partner to have constructive communication that supports a happy and harmonious relationship.

There are times that you might still have disagreements, and you and your partner know how to handle it so that it doesn’t lead to destructive communication.

If you managed to inspire communication that you were able to continue to have constructive communication… That’s a win!

If you still have destructive communication at times, and you’re unable to figure out how to change the communication pattern during the heat of your communication, that’s okay. Guess what?

You learned without losing.

Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.

Learning points in this example might be:

  • What can you do differently so that you can create more constructive communication?
  • Why do you think and feel that destructive communication is occurring in the first place?
  • What can you do better next time?
  • What worked that you could continue to use?

You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of who you want to portray and have a good balance of holding yourself accountable when it comes to inspiring yourself to cultivate communication in your personal relationship.

This is the Communication Warrior.

 

You know your way of inspiration… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!

If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.

Book Your Session

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

Nurture Feelings | The COMMUNICATES Game

If you’re a sensitive, introverted, conflict phobic person who would love to be able to communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires, without the fear of arguments and criticisms, so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship so that you will never feel lonely again, in your relationship with your partner. Stay tuned for fun and valuable information!

Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to the COMMUNICATES Game video series. If you have missed the other videos that I have done, and this video series, don’t worry, stay here for now. And you can always catch up with it later. So if you missed the other videos that I have done in the COMMUNICATES Game video series, that’s okay, stay here for now. And you can always catch up with those videos later. So in today’s video, we’re going to talk about nurturing feelings. Nurturing feelings in your communication. Now you or your partner may or may not be good at nurturing feelings in your communication.

So let me ask you this, have you ever engaged in conversation with your partner, and all of a sudden you or your partner changed, the mood changed? So in the beginning, perhaps you and your partner were having a really relaxing, good, calm, happy conversation. And then either you or your partner said something, and it upset, either you or your partner. And then all of a sudden, it’s like storm clouds are coming in. So either you took offense or your partner took offense, and one of you is just now upset. And either you or your partner decide to walk away from the conversation. And I don’t know about you. Once when you or your partner walk off, are you stumped? Like, all of a sudden, do you wonder like, Hey, what happened? It started off like a really good conversation, you’re stumped. And you’re like, “hey, we had a good conversation, everything was fine. And then all of a sudden, I said something or he or she said something. And now all of a sudden, one of us is upset and walked away from the conversation to cool off.”

So what happened? Right, so this is where nurturing feelings in the conversation in your communication becomes important because perhaps, if you gave some awareness to it, you might have realized that there were some clues as to how you were feeling or to how the other person was feeling during that conversation. You know, in the beginning, it was probably really good, you know, you’re joking with each other or something, you know, was said. And then somebody made a comment or their you made a comment or your partner made a comment, and all of a sudden, now the storm clouds have come in. So with the nurture feelings, it’s about looking for the subtle hints, so for subtle changes of either the conversation shifting from being happy to stormy clouds, or perhaps you can switch it like maybe the clouds are stormy and you see that and now you’re going to figure out how you can pivot and then you can see like there’s stormy clouds. But however, instead of getting further into the stormy clouds, because you see it coming, that perhaps you can pivot and maybe maneuver to a different direction by making either a little bit of a humorous statement, or perhaps saying something that’s more nurturing, so that you can pivot it back to instead of going further into the storm clouds. Now you can still go back to being having that sunny, happy conversation that you originally maybe had, or as this conversation has already begun storming, because it was a very serious conversation. Perhaps you don’t have to make it so serious. Perhaps you can also put a little bit of some light heartedness into this serious conversation so that it’s not going to be going further and to that storm clouds. And perhaps it’s not always the case, perhaps in some situations, you know, it’s going to be storm clouds, and you’re just doing your best to navigate through the storm clouds. But there might be some chances of yes as being storm clouds that perhaps there’s some way to lighten up the storm and again, by nurturing the conversation with some certain nurturing words, or some nurturing gestures.

And again, if there’s a shift from a happy conversation to a stormy conversation that’s coming up, again, look for those subtle hints, and then see about how to pivot away from it. Again, when you have that awareness of nurturing the conversation, and that could be just as simple as you know, being aware of what you said, perhaps, you know what you said, the other person took it wrong, right. So you might be able to change that. Or, if you see the other person, your partner, all of a sudden, is in a relaxed body posture, like with open arms and smiling, and all of a sudden, you said something, and now the your partner has his or her arm crossed, or all of a sudden, the face changed to almost like a serious looking tone, where the smile is no longer there, or perhaps just like kind of a small smile, not as big as what it was. These are little things that you can see like, oh, perhaps did I say something or, you know, and again, the same way. And once when your partner is aware, and can nurture the conversation, he or she can also maybe see when you’re getting a little bit upset and learn to pivot as well.

So this is where nurturing feelings in your conversation in your communication becomes important because it’s almost like another way of validating of your feeling now of what was being said and what was being discussed. And it’s an acknowledgement that “hey, I was okay. And then something was said, and now I’m not okay.” So and who doesn’t want to be validated? Right? So sometimes validation doesn’t have to be through words. It can be just saying, acknowledging like, “Oh, my goodness, there’s now a change in the mood in the conversation. I acknowledge that I acknowledged you’re changing, you’re in the mood that you’re in now in. So let’s see what we can do to fix it to repair it.” Right.

We’re going to talk about the nurture feelings. I’m using the four characters. Okay, so my first character is Stance and Stance is our confident communicator. So with the confident communicator, we’re just going to look at how each character’s not necessarily read or pivot in nurturing the feelings in the conversation, but how they might kind of address the nurturer feelings in the conversation. Starting with Stance, our confident communicator. Yay, hello Stance. Alright, so Stance is going to be the type of person that will try his or her best to monitor the feelings in the conversation. So Stance is most likely going to be the type of person that will do his or her best to see, you know, have an awareness of the person’s mood in a conversation. So if there is a subtle change Stance is going to do his or her best to kind of notice if the subtle changes and perhaps some person’s mood during the conversation, because again, Stance wants to have that constructive conversation. And so Stance again, is just confidence. And so he or she is going to try his or her best, you know, to see how the person is feeling, right? If the person is having a happy conversation, and all of a sudden the mood changes Stance is likely going to pick up on it and perhaps even try his or her best to pick up on it. As soon as like they’re heading into the storm clouds, like the person who has his or her arm crossed, Stance might, you know, kind of take awareness of that, so to speak, and say, oh, okay, maybe I said something or something was said and so Stance might just check in and say, Hey, are you okay? Did I just say something wrong? Because of the subtle, maybe body change. So, again, sometimes Stance might miss it, but Stance is going to be the type of person that will do his or her best to make sure that the feelings are being nurtured in the conversation notice any subtle changes so that the conversations can continue on onto a constructive path rather than a destructive path. So that is Stance.

All right. Our next communicator is Brash and Brash is our arrogant communicator. So here’s Brash, Brash is more concerned about making sure that he or she looks good, right? Looks the best. So Brash is most likely not going to be a good communicator when it comes to nurturing feelings. Because, again, Brash is only worried about making sure he or she looks good and looking the best. And sometimes that might mean not being aware of nurturing feelings, because again, they just want to make sure they look good. So it’s not so much about how the other person feels, they might, you know, boast about their achievements and what have you, while the other person may not be feeling good about it, but Brash is not going to be aware of that Brash is most likely going to just, you know, continue on and say, Look, kind of, like, continue on with his or her achievements, say, Look at me, and, you know, I did this and this and this, you know, not kind of stepping back a little bit and saying, but, you know, everybody else did great here or something like that, you know, and most likely is just that Brash is gonna say, Yeah, I did great. So hey, you know, pay attention and not so much as being aware of how the other person might be feeling, right? When it comes to nurturing feelings, I don’t want to say that Brash doesn’t nurture feelings, is just that perhaps Brash is more, because the intention is to make him or herself looking good. Sometimes that means, you know, not paying attention to other things such as nurturing feelings, you know, the intention is not to be aware of how the other person’s feeling. The intention is more about making sure he or she looks good. So sometimes that, means that what gets missed is the nurturing feeling in the communication in the conversation. And not to say that Brash will always miss, you know, the feelings or will always, you know, miss on the opportunity to nurture feelings, you know, perhaps, you know, afterwards in a in Brash’s way, he or she might just say, oh, you know, you’ll get there next time, or I’m sure, you know, you’ll, you’ll achieve that someday, you know, type of thing. And, again, it’s maybe Brash’s way of just saying, hey, you know, I know I did great and everything and, but you know, in Brash’s way of saying, you know, you’ll, you’ll get it sometime in the future, perhaps it’s just saying, you know, there is opportunity for you as well. And that’s Brash’s way perhaps nurturing feeling, you might be like, Brash, or you might know somebody like Brash, and that’s okay. Sometimes we do want people to look at us, right? To look at the are achievements. And then sometimes, you know, we just might need to still be a little bit aware of the feelings. So with Brash, it’s just very, I’m going to just start off saying it is very difficult to address the nurturing feelings with Brash because Brash is so concerned is more concerned about making him or herself looking good. Again, what gets lost will be the nurturing feelings, I don’t want to say that Brash always misses the opportunity of nurturing feelings. However, because it’s not really top priority Brash is going to be the type of person that really just focused on him or herself. And not so much on the other person. So sometimes you almost need to be a Brash yourself, to bring out that nurture feeling of what you need. So perhaps you just need to, you know, be– be, like Brash and say, “You know what, I’m feeling this way, and you need to stop or, you know, I’m happy for your accomplishments, but everybody deserves a chance,” right? So sometimes you yourself need to be like, Brash in order for your partner who might be Brash to understand, you know, where the boundaries are, where for nurturing of feelings, and making sure that whatever needs to be addressed is addressed. And you might have to do that in a brash way for Brash to understand. Alright, so, hope that makes sense.

All right, now we’re moving on to our third character. All right, so our third communication character communicator is Gray. So Gray is our timid communicator. Hello gray. So, Gray is going to be a type of person that is going to nurture the other person rather than nurture him or her Self. So Gray is a type of person that is fully aware of how the other person is feeling during the conversation. Gray is going to notice the subtle changes right away not to say that Gray gets it all the time. But Gray gets it, most of the times the majority of the time Gray is on top of it notices this shift in the conversation notices, the feeling of the other person based on perhaps the tone or the body language or something Gray is going to pick up on it because Gray is more concerned about how the other person is feeling in the conversation than about him or herself. So Gray is more like that observer and the communication group. Because again, Gray stepping back, you know, stepping away from being in the limelight. So Gray prefers to be just in the background and observing and processing. So Gray is going to be the one that observes and process what you are saying to him or her. And then from there, Gray is going to say, “okay, I can continue this path or Oh, the person– I sense that this person is not happy.” And you know, and so Gray is going to apologize and acknowledge like perhaps it was something he or she said or something that happened. So Gray is more wanting to have that peace and calm and you know, in the conversation and trying to avoid the conflict and the argument. So in that aspect, that’s why Gray is going to be more engaged and more aware of, you know, picking up any subtle hints to pick up the mood and a change in the conversation so that Gray can then move on and move away from any conflict or argument that might be creeping up. So that is why Gray is more likely to be aware of the subtle changes in the communication and the gestures and what have you saw that, again, Gray is wanting the person to feel like they are being nurtured and acknowledged that there’s might be a change. And then if, you know, Gray feels like he or she that caused the change will apologize and everything. Again, it’s all about trying to move away from the argument and a conflict.

Okay, so then we have Blend and Blend is our Shapeshifter communicator. So there’s Blend, all right. So, Blend, again, because Blend can sense the room sense the person, Blend is just going to see how the situation is what is happening, and then determine which communication character would best fit into the situation that will continue to nurture the feelings in a conversation with his or her partner. So according to Blend, whether Blend is going to be like Stance or Brash or Gray, it would all depend on the communication situation, what’s being discussed and where the changes and why they change. And then from there, Blend then can decide which of the communication character or characters will be best to address the changes in the communication and make sure to nurture it in a way so that again, it can be constructive, rather than destructive, because Blend is good at sensing the mood of the person or of the situation, he or she is just going to decide and choose the characters that were best fit the situation to continue to nurture the feeling in his or her communication.

And then, of course, the goal is for you to be the Communication Warrior. So this is you as the Communication Warrior, where you can communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires confidently openly. You know how to best nurture feelings in your communication. And if you don’t feel nurtured in your communication by your partner, you know how to communicate that with confidence so that you are being heard and understood by your partner so that you can have that happy and harmonious relationship with your partner.

So this is what being a Communication Warrior is all about. Now If you don’t feel like you’re a Communication Warrior yet, that’s okay. I’m going to invite you to visit my website, GraceSOULutions.com That’s GraceSOULutions.com to see how you can book a free Communication Breakthrough Session with me, where we will discover five obstacles that are stopping you, and one key thing that you can do to help to move you forward and in the next COMMUNICATES Game videos we’re going to see how the four characters Stance, Brash, Gray and Blend deal with inspiration in communication.

So until next time, have fun communicating!

Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Nurture Feelings)

During your ‘communication game’ has this ever happened to you?

You’re having a nice communication and then all of the sudden the mood suddenly changes?

The mood has changed because either another person joined the group, or something was said which totally changed the whole mood of the conversation.

If you resonate as being a sensitive, introverted, and a conflict-phobic person, then you’re likely able to sense the change in the mood of a person or the whole mood of a conversation.

However, the person you’re speaking with might not have that ‘special skill’ of sensing the change of the mood or the conversation.

Your communication partner may not even realize that the mood of the conversation had changed at all. They might continue to be oblivious as to what is going on until someone it blows off and walks out of the conversation altogether.

Some people don’t have what I call the ‘Spidey Senses’ of sensing when the mood of a person or conversation is turning from calm into stormy weather.

If there is sudden mood change in the person or of the conversation, you as a sensitive, introverted, and conflict-phobic person might feel that it was your fault that it changed or you might even be dumbstruck yourself as to what happened and why things changed in such a way.

The thing is… You can sense the change.

One minute you’re having a nice joyful, peaceful conversation, then something was said, and now someone is pissed off and the best way to describe it is that you’re heading into a horrible storm.

In the communication game, it’s important to be aware and keep track of the various feelings and moods within the conversation.

If the person you’re speaking with doesn’t have the ‘Spidey Senses’ to sense the change in the mood, then you can give some warnings like a weather reporter who gives warnings when bad storms are coming.

You can say something to the person who is oblivious to the mood change something like, “let’s change the subject”, or “let’s table this discussion for now and discuss it at a later time”, or “I didn’t like the last comment you just said so let’s take a break”.

It doesn’t matter if you have Spidey Senses or not. All it takes is everyone paying attention to the people they’re speaking with.

There are hints, they might be subtle hints, that someone is getting upset during the conversation, and to quit while you’re ahead so that you don’t have to enter into the storm cloud. And sometimes they can leave people thinking “if only you had paid attention…”

The subtle hints or warnings might’ve been a change in facial expression, body language, tone of voice, or even a direct comment to stop that was ignored.

Think about it…

 

The subtle changes could’ve been anything from a large smile to a small weak smile, open arm movements to folded arms across the stomach, or a change in tone of voice from friendly to a more serious tone that gives the vibe of “don’t push my buttons.“

There are some people that have a natural gift of nurturing feelings in conversation while others may learn the necessary skills to develop nurture feelings during conversation.

Sadly, there are others who might not care to nurture any feelings in conversations. These are the people who don’t care if they pissed people off by what they said.

The type of people who don’t care about nurturing feelings in conversation are the ones who only care about what they wanted to say in the first place and say it in exactly the way that they wanted to say it.

Those who do nurture feelings in conversation or pay attention to it are usually the sensitive type. The ones who can sense the room or the person’s feelings because the people who nurture feelings might feel they are responsible for everyone’s feelings during the conversation.

A nice balance when it comes to nurturing feelings in a conversation is to be aware of the other person’s feelings, but also to realize that you are not fully responsible for the other person’s feelings.

You might’ve said something that was picked up wrong, you apologized for the mistake, and if the other person continues to be upset, well it’s on that person, and not on you.

You did your best to remedy the situation by apologizing and held yourself accountable for the mistake made and you just need to let the person work through their emotions, and you don’t need to beat yourself up about it or hold on to the responsibility.

 

The truth is that the mood of the person or change of mood during a conversation can happen at any time.

It’s about doing your best to nurture feelings so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship in your personal communication.

 

The Objective of the Game

The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re aware of nurturing feelings in your communication.

There are times that you might be able to sense the change in a person’s mood or the conversation and there are times you might miss it.

If you’ve managed to nurture feelings in your communication so that you were able to continue to have constructive communication… That’s a win!

If your communication changed because the person’s mood changed or the conversation changed from calm to stormy weather because you missed the changes that were happening during your communication, that’s okay. Guess what?

You learned without losing.

Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.

Learning points in this example might be:

  • What can you do differently so that you can nurture feelings in your communication?
  • Why do you think you missed the changes that were occurring in the first place?
  • What can you do better next time?
  • What worked that you could continue to use?

You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into the authenticity of who you want to portray and have a good balance of holding yourself accountable when it comes to nurturing feelings in your communication.

This is the Communication Warrior.

 

You know your way to nurture feelings… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!

If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.

Book Your Session

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

GraceSOULutions Featured In New York Weekly

I’m so excited to have been featured in New York Weekly!

Here is a brief excerpt from the article:

Grace CW Liu, a renowned communication expert and founder of GraceSOULutions, is revolutionizing the way introverted, sensitive women communicate in their personal relationships. Through her expertise as a speech-language pathologist and her understanding of the power of words and energy, Grace is helping individuals and couples cultivate healthy communication strategies that foster understanding, connection, and happiness in their relationships so that they can create their happily ever after

In a world where communication is essential for building and maintaining successful relationships, GraceSOULutions offers a unique approach that focuses solely on communication skills. Grace understands that communication is more than just the words we speak; it encompasses body language, tone of voice, and active listening skills. By empowering her clients to recognize and leverage their own communication styles, Grace helps them express their thoughts, feelings, and desires openly and confidently. 

You can read the full article here:

Read The Full Article

If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.

Book Your Session

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

Misunderstandings | The COMMUNICATES Game

If you’re a sensitive, introverted, conflict phobic person, who would love to be able to communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires, without the feeling of being overlooked, overshadowed and overwhelmed in your communication, so that you can have that happy and harmonious relationship. Stay tuned for fun and valuable information.

Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to the COMMUNICATES Game video series. Now, if you have missed the previous videos, and this COMMUNICATES Game video series, that’s okay, stay here for now. And you can always catch up to those videos later.

So in this video, we’re going to talk about misunderstandings, or what happens when a communication breaks down. When communication is lost, or the understanding is lost, because there was a breakdown in the communication. And to talk about misunderstandings, or about communication breakdowns, of course, we’re going to use our four communication characters. So let’s get started.

All right, so our first communication character is Stance. So Stance, of course, is our confident communicator. And here is Stance, all right. So when a communication breakdown occurs, or when some misunderstanding may have occurred, Stance is going to be the type of person that is likely to find out what happened and perhaps take him or herself accountable for perhaps the misunderstanding that has occurred. So Stance is going to want to know what happened. And of course, then make sure that he or she takes accountability if necessary to the communication breakdown, and then figure out how to pivot so that the communication can continue. So an example might be, you know, if Stance happens to be talking to a person while that person was busy, and the person didn’t listen, or didn’t hear what Stance might have said, and then there was a misunderstanding of what the person wants to do, then Stance is going to say, “well, I said this, but perhaps you didn’t hear me because you were distracted. And I should have realized not to converse with you or tell you these instructions until you were less distracted.” So Stance then will make sure that next time that he or she gives the instructions or the information that the person is not distracted by other things. And so, that would be how Stance as a confident communicator might deal with communication breakdowns or when misunderstandings occur. So you perhaps you are like Stance, and in some situations, you might say “this is what I did. And now I know what to do better next time.”

All right, moving on to our next character. So here we have Brash and Brash is our arrogant communicators. So let’s welcome Brash All right. So Brash might be a type of person that when a communication breakdown occurred, that he or she may not take full responsibility. And in other words, Brash might likely to put the blame on the other person. So again, remember Brash is type of person that wants to make him or herself look good. And so by making himself look good, it’s having to make the other person look not so great. And one of the ways to do that is to put the blame on the other person. So if a misunderstanding occurred, or there was a communication breakdown, you know, again, if the other person was distracted, then Brash might say something like, “you know, I told you this, obviously, you didn’t hear me well next time when I tell you something, you need to stop what you’re doing and pay attention to what I am telling you.” So Brash is likely not going to hold him or self accountable in a way that Stance might have done Brash is going to most likely, because again, making him or herself look great. So would most likely put the blame on the other person for the misunderstanding (that type of attitude). Now sometimes, because like I mentioned before, there are no good or bad characters. Sometimes it is necessary perhaps to be like Brash, you know? In some situations, perhaps, it is not fully Brash’s responsibility. It might be the other person’s responsibility and so Brash may feel he or she is right. Or perhaps he or she has the reasoning to say, “You know what, next time, you really need to stop what you’re doing, and listen to what I’m telling you,” because perhaps it might be something of an emergency, something urgent, and, you know, Brash might say, “you know, I did call your name, and I did say that this was important, and I need you to, to listen to this, and you didn’t.” So in that case, perhaps, you know, there might be some situations where you might need to be, like, Brash, and say, “Hey, you should have listened.” So it’s, I don’t want to say putting the blame, and I know I used that word earlier, but it’s just to put the responsibility or the accountability on to the person and maybe perhaps, with Brash, sometimes you need to put more of that accountability on the other person, depending upon the situation. So sometimes, yes, it can be a little bit tricky. And that is why, you know, communication is like a game, right? Because sometimes you have to maneuver around obstacles. And misunderstanding is one of those obstacles that I have mentioned in the previous videos of when I talked about obstacles, and misunderstanding happens to be one of those. So again, it’s how to maneuver around it. So anyway, that might be helped Brash with deal with a misunderstanding, is putting the accountability or the responsibility on to the other person for why the misunderstanding occurred.

And so our next character is Gray, and Gray is our timid character. So let’s meet Gray. All right, so when a misunderstanding occurs, Gray is most likely going to be the type of person to say, “I’m sorry.” Gray is just going to apologize for the misunderstanding that occurred. So you know, an instruction was given to Gray, obviously, Gray might have been distracted, and didn’t fall through or something? And the person comes back to Gray and say, hey, you know, why didn’t you do this? Or, you know, I said this, and this was not done correctly. And Gray is gonna most likely just say, “I’m sorry, I misunderstood you. I didn’t hear you properly out corrected right now. And I’m just very sorry,” not going to say, Oh, you did this, or you could have done this no Gray, it’s just going to take the full responsibility that okay, the misunderstanding occured, yes, it was my fault, I could have done better. And now I’m going to remedy the situation as best to my ability, so that we can just move on from this experience, because again Gray doesn’t necessarily feel comfortable when there’s an argument or conflict. So Gray is just going to apologize and fix the problem. And try then to have it move on. So that the conflict and the argument can be resolved. So that might be like you or you might know somebody who is like Gray. And again, in some situations, you know, that’s might be the best way, you know, you were given some instructions, and you know, you didn’t follow through or the person didn’t follow through. And sometimes the best way is just to apologize, try to fix the problem if you can, right then and there or as quickly as you can, and then hopefully, that just solves a problem. So that way, everybody is no longer upset and then conversations, activities can carry forward.

Okay, and then of course, we have our character Blend and Blend is our Shape Shifter communicator. Yay, there’s Blend. So Blend is a type of person that can sense the mood of the person or of the room. And if a misunderstanding occurs, Blend is the type of person that’s going to see the situation and then decide perhaps you know which character or characters he or she is going to be in to help to solve the misunderstanding to help to repair the communication. And so in some situations, Blend is gonna maybe perhaps start off as great apologize, fix it, and then perhaps be like Stance and say, You know what, I take full responsibility. I should have like clarified with you when I wasn’t sure next time, if I’m not sure I know what we’ll know to ask the questions I need to ask whatever it might be.” So and in some situations, it might be that Blend decides he or she needs to be more like Brash and then perhaps then move to a Stance or you know, move on to a different character. So, again, Blend is going to just see the situation figure out what would be the best way to be, you know, what character communication character to be to solve the problem to resolve the communication breakdown to resolve the misunderstanding, so that the next time it won’t occur or if it does, he or she knows what to do, and or hold himself or herself accountable if a mistake happens. So it all just really depends on the situation. And that’s what Blend is good at its Blend is good at being the shapeshifter and figuring out which character or characters to be to solve the communication breakdown, and to solve the misunderstandings. And so that hopefully doesn’t happen again the next time or knows how to solve it when it occurs, so that everybody hopefully can move on.

So before I move on to our next character, I just want to let you know that for our next video, we’re going to see how the four characters Stance, Brash, Gray and Blend deal with nurturing feelings in communication. So stay tuned for that video next month.

Alright, so this is the goal that we want for you to be the Communication Character. Yay! And this is the Communication Warrior: You! Where you can communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires, and be able to repair any misunderstandings or communication breakdown, as you want to be to repair your communication breakdown or misunderstandings so that no matter in whatever situation or the person you’re speaking with, you feel like that Communication Warrior that you are being the character the communication character or characters you want to be when dealing with the communication breakdown and the misunderstanding.

And if you don’t feel like you’re a Communication Warrior yet, then I invite you to visit my website, GraceSOULutions.com That’s GraceSOULutions.com to see how you can book a free communication breakthrough session with me where we will discover five obstacles that stopping you and one action step that you can take to move you forward.

So until next time, go and have fun communicating!

If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.

Book Your Session

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Understanding is Broken)

When playing a game or sport, misunderstandings can happen at any time.

Any player can misunderstand the given instructions for playing the game or misunderstand an action to take during game play.

If misunderstandings can occur while playing a game or sport, then they certainly can also occur during a conversation or in communication!

Afterall, communication can feel like you’re playing a game.

Let’s talk about misunderstandings or: when there is a breakdown in understanding during a conversation.

For people who are sensitive, introverted, and conflict-phobic, misunderstandings can make you feel uncomfortable, making you feel as if it was your fault, or that what you said didn’t really matter to the person who you were speaking with.

The main thing that most sensitive, introverted, and conflict-phobic people would like to avoid is conflict or argument in their communication that could lead to creating disharmony in relationships.

The truth is, yes, misunderstandings can sometimes lead to conflict or even big arguments.

Let’s explore why misunderstandings occur.

There can be few reasons…

One of them is the delivery of the message.

Misunderstandings can easily occur if you delivered your message while the person was distracted or if there was a lot of background noise.

The person may have only received half or less of what you said depending upon how much the person heard due to distractions or the attention paid to what you said in the first place.

Another reason for misunderstanding might be due to dialect or foreign-born accent.

People who are not familiar with different dialects or hearing people speak with foreign accents might have a hard time understanding a person who speaks with a heavy dialect or accent.

This is my own personal example that I’m sharing. Growing up I became accustomed to hearing my parents and their friends speak with heavy Chinese accents because English is their second language.

My friends were not accustomed to hearing accents and had a hard time understanding my parents when they spoke English.

I remember this one time when my mom told my friend to ‘take the card’ (birthday card), except it sounded like ‘take the car’.

My friend was confused because she was 10 years old at the time and wasn’t old enough to have a license to drive a car so she said, ‘I can’t take your car.’

My mom insisted she take the card and my friend declined to take the car.

I was busy wrapping up the treats in the kitchen at the time and I could hear bits and pieces of the conversation that was going on in the living room.

I explained to my friend that my mom was telling her to take the card and not the car.

We had a good laugh at that misunderstanding because mom couldn’t understand why my friend didn’t want her birthday card and my friend couldn’t figure out why my mom wanted her to break the driving law.

Another reason for misunderstandings might be due to making assumptions.

Have you ever made assumptions about something that you heard and later found out that your assumptions were wrong?

Rather than making assumptions it’s a good rule of thumb to ask for clarification.

Don’t assume because you end up risking being wrong and creating misunderstandings.

If you aren’t careful, some assumptions can lead to disastrous misunderstandings and results.

This is why nurses call physicians or pharmacists when they’re not sure about a patient’s medications, ask for clarification, and then repeat it back. It’s to make sure that there is no misunderstanding with the patient’s medication in order to avoid severe consequences.

There are ways to help prevent misunderstandings or reduce the breakdown in your personal communication so that you can have happy and harmonious relationships when you communicate.

Just do the following:

Deliver your message in a quiet environment if possible and make sure you have the person’s attention when you deliver your message.

Be patient when listening to a foreign-born speaker with a heavy accent or someone with a heavy dialect. Slow down your rate of speech and kindly ask the person with the heavy accent to slow down rate of speech as well.

Don’t make assumptions. If you’re not sure, ask for clarification.

Misunderstandings may still occur, but at least you know some ways to maneuver around it if it happened.

It’s about doing your best to reduce the misunderstandings from occurring in your communication using the tools that you have been given.

Sometimes one of the best things you can do if misunderstanding did occur is to laugh it off when appropriate, or let it go. Avoid overthinking about it or being overly serious.

The Objective of the Game

The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re aware that misunderstandings can happen.

There are times that you might be able to avoid misunderstandings or gracefully maneuver around them.

If you managed to avoid or maneuver around misunderstandings so that you were able to continue to have constructive communication…That’s a win!

If you couldn’t avoid misunderstandings or repair a communication breakdown that occurred due to misunderstandings, that’s okay. Guess what?

You learned without losing.

Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.

Learning points in this example might be:
-What can you do differently next time to avoid misunderstanding?
–Why do you think the misunderstanding occurred in the first place?
–What can you do better next time?

You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into the authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable to when misunderstanding occurs.

This is the Communication Warrior.

You know your way to repair misunderstandings… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!

If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.

Book Your Session

Warm regards,

Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

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