Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Styles)
Everyone has their own clothing and fashion style. This fashion style makes the person feel good and they are comfortable with it. The same can be said for communication style.
Likewise, everyone has their own communication style that they are is comfortable with. And in that vein, there is no right or wrong fashion style, or communication style, because these are personal choices.
There are a lot of different fashion and fashion trends and styles out there. There are some basic fashion items that make sense for people to have in their closet such as a black dress for women, a black or blue suit for men, a nice blouse, jeans, blazer, and nice casual dress shoes.
Four basic communication styles that you should know about to establish and cultivate rapport in your communication are:
auditory (hear, listen),
visual (see, picture),
kinesthetic (feel, touch),
auditory digital (think, analyze).
In fashion, beyond the basic clothing items, you have some people who go forward with trends or who follow other people’s fashion beyond the basic clothing fundamentals.
Why? Because in some cases they’ve been told that more is better and that you can be more creative when you have more.
Perhaps they’ve also been told that some of their fashion items made them look old or “old-fashioned.”
Rather than wearing what they wanted they followed the trend which made them feel more like someone else and not themselves.
After a while they’ve become someone else, someone they no longer recognize, and perhaps wished they could be themselves and have a desire to wear clothes that represent more of themselves.
Honestly, it’s not necessary to have more than the basic clothing that is needed to go out and do your daily activities.
It’s just nice to have additional clothing in your closet to some flair and fun.
Communication can be the same way.
You might have a way within your own style of communication, however, you’ve been told you can’t communicate this or that way.
You’ve learned to adopt a certain way to communicate that fits more with the “norm” of what is expected in society when communicating in that situation.
You might feel like you’re wearing a mask rather than being your authentic self.
For example, when at a social gathering with friends in a restaurant or at an event, it’s expected that people are smiling, having polite conversations, nice, pleasant small talks, and speaking for the most part at an appropriate volume.
What if you’re an introvert at a social gathering with your friends?
Does all the smiling and small talk made you feel like you’re wearing a mask?
Behind the mask of smiling and participating and engaging in the small talk leaves you feeling drained and as though you’re ready to leave. However, you can’t leave in this case because you’ve only been at the gathering for 10 minutes! All you want to do is find a corner and hide so that you can finally stop smiling and have some quiet time to yourself to recharge so that you don’t drain your battery with all the small talk. You might decide this is a good time to go to the bathroom so you can hide in one of the stalls for a while. Nope, you talked to people along the way into the bathroom, by the sink in the bathroom, along the way back to the main room, and again in the main room. You might’ve had a good three minutes to yourself which is not enough time for an introvert. Plus, you know that no one really cared about what you thought about the weather in the first place.
Do you wish you could just take off your mask and say, “you know, my face is getting really tired from all this smiling, and I know you’re being polite, and you really don’t care what I think about xyz… I really am interested to know how you’re feeling that’s why I asked, but you’re just asking me out of politeness.”
Not all introverts may feel the way I just described since not all introverts are the same.
There might be some similarities, but still, each has his or her own individual style.
Extroverts and ambiverts will have their similarities, and each will have their own communication style as an extrovert and ambivert.
It’s about finding your own style, being comfortable with your style, and finding a way to communicate with your style.
The example I gave about the introvert, wearing the mask, and the feeling behind the mask, you guessed it: It was me.
I no longer wear my mask. I tell people upfront, I’m an introvert which means I need some down time to recharge my battery. I smile and make small talk, and I also let people know that as much as I like talking to them, it’s time for me to recharge my energy because that’s what this introvert needs to do.
By making it lighthearted and fun, the person knows that it’s about my energy and not about them.
Once I embraced and understood what it meant to be an introvert for me, then I could communicate using my humorous communication style to communicate to other people it’s time for me to recharge without having to pretend or wear a mask of consistently smiling and engaging in small talk that drained my energy.
As an introvert, I like to use humorous communication style to get by.
You might be an introvert, but your style might be practical, or avoidance.
There are many communication styles and again it can be different for each of the introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts.
It’s easy to know, understand, and recognize the basic communication styles that I mentioned earlier in this blog so that is where I recommend starting first.
If you know and understand your own basic communication style, then you can start to recognize your partner’s basic communication style to continue cultivating rapport in your communication with your partner so that you have a happy and harmonious relationship.
The other communication styles are good to know, might help you to become creative with your communication, but it’s not completely necessary to help you to cultivate a rapport in your communication with your partner.
There are many different communication styles, and start with recognizing, understanding, and knowing the four basic communication styles.
It’s about using the communication style that will support and cultivate rapport with your communication partner so that you can continue to have a happy and harmonious personal relationship with your partner.
There might be similarities between introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts; however, each introvert, extrovert, and ambivert has his or her own unique communication style.
The Objective of the Game
The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re aware of the four basic communication styles and that there are similarities between introverts, extrovert, and ambiverts; however, each introvert, extrovert, and ambivert has his or her own unique communication style.
There are many communication styles; however, knowing the four basic communication styles is a good start to establish and cultivate rapport with your communication partner.
If you used the communication style that supported you and your partner to establish and cultivate rapport in your communication so that you and your partner felt seen and heard… That’s a win!
If you didn’t use the communication style or know which communication style to use that would have better supported or cultivated rapport with your partner, that’s okay. Guess what?
You learned without losing.
Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.
Learning points in this example might be:
- What can you do differently next time to establish or cultivate rapport?
- What patterns of words do you notice that you use, and your partner uses that would best represent one of the four basic communication styles?
- What can you do better next time?
You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable with using the communication style that would establish and cultivate rapport with your partner in your communication.
This is the Communication Warrior.
You know your way around the four basic communication styles… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!
If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a Communication Warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that are stopping your from becoming a Communication Warrior.
Warm regards,
Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com
Express Yourself | The COMMUNICATES Game
If you’re an introvert, sensitive, people pleaser, who would love to openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires without the fear of arguments or criticisms, stay tuned for fun and valuable information.
Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to the Communicates Warrior Game video series, or what I like to call COMMUNICATES Game.
Now, if you have missed the other videos in this video series, that’s okay, stay here for now, you can always catch up with those other videos later on. So in this video, today, we’re going to talk about expressing yourself. There are many ways you can express yourself. Certainly one of the ways is through words, right verbal communication. So the words, the tone of voice, the body language, the facial expressions, the hand gestures. But of course, you can also communicate in written format, right, in writing. And you can also communicate and express yourself through art, right, just even painting, sculpting, drawing, or music, dancing. So you can see there’s other ways to communicate and express yourself, not necessarily all the time with verbal communication. But of course, in this video series, the main focus has been on verbal communication.
But today we’re going to be talking about expressing your self, and we’re going to use the communication characters, in talking about how each of the characters might express him or herself. So let’s get started.
All right, so our first communication character is Stance our confident communicator. All right, so their’s Stance. Now Stance because Stance’s is a confident person, we would expect that Stance is going to express him or herself with confidence. And what might that look like? Well Stance is going to be able to do things and do things well. That will be you know, communicating verbally written some performance of some sort, either through art, music, whatever it is, Stance is going to do it with confidence, you know, shoulders back, back, straight smile on the face, if it’s appropriate. And if Stance happens to make a misstep Stance is going to be able to pivot quickly. And you know, do it with confidence. But in most cases, you might not even have known that Stance made an error because they just know how to carry on. Right. So it almost feels like when Stance is expressing him or herself, they know exactly what to do to avoid any missteps. It’s almost like you don’t really see any missteps at all. And if it does happen, you don’t even realize it. Why? Because they just have that confidence, like you know what, I can carry on no matter what, however, they express themselves. They just know what to do. And they’re not afraid if something goes wrong, because they have the confidence to know how to pivot and perhaps even how to repair it, maybe even a way that you didn’t even know that they had made a mistake in the first place. All right, so that is Stance.
Okay, and our next communication character is Brash. Now Brash is our arrogant communicator. So how is Brash going to express him or herself? Well, we expect that Brash is going to take up space, right? So we suspect that Brash is going to express him or herself in a big way, perhaps, you know, using big movements, or over the top way of, you know, expressing him or herself either through music, the clothing they wear, or art, whatever it is, they’re gonna make a big splash, right? Because they just want to shine. That’s how Brash just might be right? Because, again, Brash wants to shine. So have a way to, you know, make sure that Brash is standing out. So big movements, big splashes, you know, it could be in clothing, it could be in the way they carry themselves with their tone of voice or their volume. involve their voice or even their body language and even in their performance, right? If they’re underperforming, perhaps you know through their art, music, whatever it might be, that might be how Brash express him or herself, because again, they like to shine, and they want– and they like to stand out.
Okay, so our next communication character is Gray, and Gray is our timid communicator. So as you can see, Gray is wanting to kind of blend in, right. So when Gray communicates or express him or herself is probably going to be more in a gentle, quiet way. Right, you might find that Gray might prefer to draw or paint or do something to express him or herself. Maybe it’s dance, and it might be some gentle dances, or it might be, you know, any type of dance. However, again, it’s being with the other crowds, right with other people. And if Gray does perform or express him or herself, there’s nobody else around Gray might do it in a very quiet, subtle way of expressing him or herself. Gray might be also a type of person that prefers writing, rather than verbal. Might prefer, you know, sometimes to express him or herself through the art, right, because it’s all very just inward, and away from other people. Again, Gray, may just prefer to express him or herself through quiet needs, writing, painting, drawing, you know, that type of thing. So, that’s Gray.
And then of course, we have Blend our Shapeshifter communicator. And so Blend, of course, is going to be able to read the room, read the situation, figure out what would be best in expressing him or herself in that situation. So Blend, being the shapeshifter kind of is able to like say, okay, you know, this is more of a quiet mood. So express him or herself in more in a quiet way. Perhaps if you know, Blend is more in a kind of party situation, right? Then Blend is going to be able to express him or herself more in that party mood type of situation. If it calls for that confidence Blend can also be that confidence again, Blend is that type of person, you know, that is able to kind of see what’s going on and almost feel very comfortable and kind of going in this direction or in that direction, right, because again, Blend is our shapeshifter. So for Blend, it’s going to be very easy for Blend to decide, you know how he or she is going to express him or herself, depending upon the situation. And you know, the person they– that they are with, they feel very comfortable and almost playing all different parts at the same time. Because they just have that ability to like shapeshift, right. So Blend can just express him or herself accordingly to whichever situation or group that he or she is in. So it might be if it’s requires to be quiet, they’re okay with that if it requires them to be kind of loud, they’re also okay with that. And if they requires them to be, you know, more confidence and just kind of being able to go with it. They’re okay with that too. Right. So that is Blend our Shapeshifter communicator.
And this is you as the Communication Warrior, where you are standing up nice and tall and you’re able to communicate all of your thoughts, feelings and desires, and you’re able to express yourself the way you want to express yourself. So if you want to express yourself with confidence, you’re able to do that. If you want to express yourself in a way that makes you look like you’re shining and you’re standing out. You can do that. If you want to communicate in a way that you just want to have some quietness, where you just want to draw or paint or something to express yourself through art form. You can do that. You know how to express yourself in your own way that is authentic to you. Because you are the Communication Warrior.
And if you don’t feel like you’re a Communication Warrior yet, that’s okay. Because I’m going to invite you to book a free communication breakthrough session with me by visiting my website GraceSOULutions.com That’s GraceSOULutions.com where we will discover five obstacles that is stopping you. And one thing that you can do to help you to move forward so that you can start to be confident in communicating your thoughts, feelings and desires without the fear of arguments or criticisms, so that you can have that happy and harmonious relationship with your partner through communication. And the next video, we’re going to be talking about communication styles. So I’ll see you here next time for that.
And in the meantime, go have fun communicating!
Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Express Yourself)
There are many different ways that you can communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires.
One of the ways is through body language and facial expression (which I wrote about in one of my previous blog posts). The majority of the blog articles I have written have had to do with verbal expression in communication. This mainly refers to spoken words and tone of voice.
For some of you, you might find it easier to express yourself through written expression or perhaps through artistic expression. You might find that it’s easier for you to gain more clarity of what you’re thinking, feeling, and wanting through drawing, painting, dancing, playing or listening to music, or journaling.
You also might find that before you verbally express your thoughts, feelings, or desires to your partner that you first need to process and gain clarity on what exactly it is that you’re thinking, feeling, and wanting.
Using some of the modalities (again, such as drawing, dancing, journaling) might help you to process what you’re feeling and help you figure out on the best way to communicate your feelings and what it is you really want from your partner.
Sometimes you might not be able to put it down into words or find the right way to describe or communicate what it is you want to express. This is when artistic expression may come in handy. This could be things such as: drawing an abstract picture of what you’re feeling, dancing to the mood of the music you’re feeling drawn to, or just writing any words that comes to your mind into a notebook journal.
First you need to have clarity on what it is your thinking, feeling, and wanting. Then you can better communicate that to your partner.
If you’re feeling confused and muddled as to your own thoughts, feelings, and desires and you can’t even communicate them clearly to yourself, then how you’re going to communicate clearly to your partner so that they can understand you?
Artistic expression can help you to process and understand yourself first so that you know what it is that you want to communicate to your partner so that you can get the support you want from them.
When you can openly, honestly, and clearly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires to your partner then you will feel supported and that will nurture a happy and harmonious relationship.
It’s also up to you if you would rather directly show your artistic expression to your partner as a way to communicate to them. Artistic expression can be incredibly personalized so it’s entirely up to you what and how you choose to share.
For some of you, you might find it easier to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires through a written expression such as writing a letter.
You might choose to write a letter to your partner to tell him or her what you’re deeply thinking, feeling, and wanting because you might find it easier to communicate it this way instead of outright saying it.
You might be asking “is there a tone of voice through written expression? Is it just as effective as when speaking out loud?” The answer is yes to both.
There is a tone of voice in written expression through the words and sentences you put into the letter, the pressure of your writing the individual characters and how you craft the sentences, and where you choose to place emphasis in your letter. Writing a letter to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires can end up being just as effective as verbal communication.
Perhaps in some situations you might find it easier to openly and honestly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires in the letter format or through any number of written expression formats rather than straight verbal expression because you’re afraid to see your partner’s reaction.
Sometimes by allowing time to process the information (such as reading a letter), and then discussing it afterwards when everyone has had time to process their own feelings may make it easier to have constructive conversation about what was written to discuss it further.
There are so many different ways to communicate. It’s ultimately about you choosing the modality to express yourself (whether that be through verbal, written or artistic) so that you can openly and honestly communicate using what you have chosen in order to clearly communicate with your partner.
Sometimes you may choose to use just one or a combination of artistic expression methods to help you to gain clarity on your own thoughts, feelings, and desires so that you know exactly what it is you want to communicate.
Your goal is to have it so your partner could clearly hear and understand what it was you communicated to him or her because you were clear about your own thoughts, feelings, and desires.
The Objective of the Game
The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re able to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires clearly, openly, and honestly.
There are times that you might not feel you’re able to clearly, openly, and honestly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires through verbal expression.
You might instead be able to clearly, openly, and honestly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires through other means of communication such as written or artistic expression.
If you managed to clearly, openly, and honestly communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires using verbal, written, or artistic expression to communicate with your partner without fear of argument or criticism…That’s a win!
If you couldn’t clearly, openly and honestly communicate with your partner with using any of the communication modalities, that’s okay. Guess what?
You learned without losing.
Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.
Learning points in this example might be:
- What can you do differently next time or what communication modality can you use next time so that you can communicate more clearly, openly, and honestly?
- Why do you think you held yourself back from being able to communicate more clearly, openly, and honestly?
- What can you do better next time?
You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable when expressing yourself.
This is the Communication Warrior.
You know your way to express yourself… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!
If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a Communication Warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that are stopping your from becoming a Communication Warrior.
Warm regards,
Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com
Tone of Voice | The COMMUNICATES Game
If you’re an introvert, sensitive, people pleaser, who would love to openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires without the fear of arguments or criticisms: Stay tuned for fun and valuable information.
Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to the COMMUNICATES game video series, or what I like to call the COMMUNICATES game. Now, if you have missed the previous videos in this series, don’t worry, stay here for now, you can always catch up with the previous videos that I have recorded in this video series later on. So today in this video, we’re going to be talking about Tone of Voice.
Tone of Voice
Now, you know how sometimes somebody’s tone of voice can either uplift you or annoy you, or even perhaps trigger you. So sometimes one person’s voice may be uplifting to one person, but that same tone of voice can either be triggering or annoying to another person. So a tone of voice can almost be subjective, it’s almost depending on how the person perceives that voice or the tone of voice. So somebody who might have a sarcastic personality might have a sarcastic tone of voice. And for one person, they will be okay with that. And then to another person, it might be very triggering. It’s all about the perception. And based on your experiences, and how you’re feeling that day, that tone of voice can either be okay. Or it could be “what the heck.” So we’re going to use the communication characters to talk about the tone of voice. Now, I like to preface that the character that we’re going through, I’m only going to generalized, what the tone of voice might be for the communication characters. So for example, Stance is our confident communicator, and we suspect that Stance will have a certain tone of voice. But it doesn’t mean that Stance can’t have a sarcastic tone of voice. Stance can easily also be a soft spoken, gentle person that has a very gentle soft spoken tone of voice neutral Stance can also show an aggressive tone of voice, it doesn’t matter, there’s all these characters can have all the tone of voices out there. But generally, when we associate a person like who is confident, generally we suspect that that person will have a particular tone of voice. So I’m going to be just talking about a general sense of what tone of voice that the characters may have. So having said that, let’s get started.
Stance – The Confident Communicator
So again, our first character is Stance and Stance is our confident communicator. Alright, so here is Stance. Now Stance, who is our confident communicator, obviously, we’re going to expect that Stance is going to have a confident tone of voice. So what does that mean? Well, most likely Stance is going to have perhaps more of that assertive tone of voice, maybe that no-nonsense Stance could also have that uplifting tone of voice, not like a high pitch or anything like that. But just an uplifting spirit of such that kind of like, makes you feel like “yes, I can do it” right? In a very assertive, no-nonsense kind of way but still very up lifting, that is kind of the tone of voice that we would expect that most of the confident communicators would have. Again, just because Stance is confident and you know, we in generalizing that they would have that sort of tone of voice Stance can easily still have, like I mentioned earlier, a sarcastic tone of voice an aggressive tone of voice, a soft spoken tone of voice anything it’s just, again, Stance is just going to use the tone of voice but it’s going to show that confidence that no-nonsense. Alright. So our next communicator is Brash and Brash is our arrogant communicator.
Brash – The Arrogant Communicator
So this is Brash, our arrogant communicator. And so because Brash has that “out there” type of person banality like likes to shine and be there. And so we might suspect that Brash, his tone of voice, might come off as aggressive and Brash might also have a sarcastic personality. So perhaps might even have a sarcastic tone of voice, just because it depends on the situation. So, you know, again, if Brash is wanting to show like, “Yes, I can, you know, I’m best in this,” or what have, you might show more of that aggression, that more aggressive tone of voice. Brash, can easily have more of a, you know, down to earth tone of voice as well, we just don’t know. Right? You know, it depends on the situation. However, because of the big personality, we, as we suspect that most in most cases, in a general sense, that Brash is going to have that more aggressive, that big personality, type of tone of voice.
Gray – The Timid Communicator
And then we have Gray, our timid communicator. So as you can see, in the picture, Gray is very much wanting to be in a background, right, because you can see the posture and everything. So Gray probably would like to hide, be kind of like blending into the background, hang in the back. So what is the tone of voice that would kind of not draw attention to Gray? That would probably be like this soft and gentle tone of voice, right? Because if you think about like water, you know, being very gentle kind of going with the flow, you can kind of feel like Gray is going to be that type of like, “I don’t want to bring attention to myself.” So Gray is most likely going to have that tone of voice, that will likely not draw attention to him or herself. Having said that, the tone of voice that would likely not draw attention would be that soft and gentle tone of voice. However, that doesn’t mean that Gray can’t be assertive, or have that, you know, uplifting tone of voice and what have you. Certainly Gray can still have that, but perhaps it’s not as big, right? It can perhaps be toned down a bit, even though Gray might have that assertiveness– to it the tone of voice of assertiveness to it, but also might be toned down a little bit. So there’s a bit of softness to it or gentleness to it as well. So again, we’re just generalizing, but certainly in some situations, where Gray might be really comfortable, who knows. Gray might then all of a sudden become that really big, uplifting, you know, person with a big tone of– with a loud tone of voice Who knows, right? Depending on situations but in general, we suspect that Gray will have more of that gentle, a lower tone of voice and and softer tone of voice. Okay, and then we have Blend.
Blend – The Shapeshifter Communicator
Blend is our Shapeshifter communicator. So even though Blend is able to read the room and situations, you know, Blend is going to choose the tone of voice that most likely will best fit the person or in that situation. However, it doesn’t mean that Blend is always going to perhaps choose the right tone of voice to use. Remember, everybody has their own perceptions and some tone of voice can be uplifting to one person, it can be triggering to another person, that same tone of voice that can be uplifting to one can also be triggering for another. However, Blend is most likely also going to be able to kind of figure out which tone of voice might be better for that room or for that situations. But if Blend happens to use the wrong tone of voice Blend might be able to quickly switch and figure out which one will be next best just to kind of make sure that the conversations carry on.
You – The Communication Warrior
And this is what we want for You: You as the Communication Warrior. So this is you as the communication warrior, where you are open and confident in communicating your thoughts feelings and desires with using the right tone of voice that fit with the person and the situation that you are in. However, if you happen to choose the wrong tone of voice, you are the communication warrior. You know how to fix it you know how to shift to a different tone of waste that perhaps that will help you to carry on to have that conversation. Because after all, you no longer are afraid, like, Oops, you don’t know what to do. You’re the communication warrior. You didn’t get the right tone of voice, you know exactly what to do to make sure that it gets shifted in the right direction so that you can continue to have that productive conversation.
But if you don’t feel like you’re a communication warrior yet, that’s okay. I’m going to invite you to visit my website, GraceSOULutions.com. That’s GraceSOULutions.com to book a free Communication Breakthrough Session, where we will discover five challenges or obstacles that are standing in your way, and one action step that you can do that will help you to move forward. And in the next videos, we’re going to see how the communication characters deal with expressing themselves. So stay tuned for that.
And in the meantime, go have fun communicating!
Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Tone of Voice)
Do certain noises or sounds make you happy while other noises or sounds can annoy you?
What do you feel when you hear an ice cream van? Happy or perhaps nostalgic.
What about a siren? Most likely annoyed by the loud sound of a siren.
Your tone of voice can be the same way.
Some tones of voice may make you feel happy and supported while other tones of voice may negatively trigger you.
Have you ever heard someone say to you, you better watch your tone of voice or don’t give me that tone of voice?
Or perhaps you have said those exact statements to your partner.
Why?
Because the tone of voice somehow triggered you.
Perhaps your partner said something to you in passing and because of his or her tone of voice, you picked it up wrong and say something like, what’s wrong with you, why you’re using that tone of voice with me?
Or what’s with that tone of voice you just used?
Your partner might not have meant anything by it, but because of his or her tone of voice, it just set something off in you like a firecracker or vice versa.
Tone of voice can be subjective, and the tone might sound one way to one person it can sound completely different to another person.
For example, a happy uplifting tone can sound like you’re being cheered on by one person where to another person it might sound as if he or she is being mocked.
Mocked for not being able to do something, the uplifting tone is just to rubbing it in that he or she can’t do it, and it’s a fake cheer rather than an actual genuine cheer or support.
To the person who feels he or she is being mocked the person with the happy and uplifting tone is actually being sincere; however, his or her tone of voice is picked up wrong by the person feeling mocked.
Some people are sensitive to the tone of voice.
He or she is sensitive to how the tone of voice sounds because he or she is sensing the person’s mood and the true feeling behind the statement that delivered.
Some people are not bothered by an aggressive tone or sarcastic tone, and others can be.
If you’re a sensitive, introverted, and conflict-phobic person, then some tone of voice may bother you or you may be more sensitive to some tones of voice than others such as you might be more sensitive and bothered by an aggressive tone versus calming tone.
For some people a calming tone may sound like the person is bored or don’t have any emotions.
Everyone might agree with what an aggressive tone may sound like, a happy tone, a sad tone, or calming tone, etc.
However, not everyone is going to agree that that’s the tone that the person used and not everyone is going to be comfortable or be accepting of a tone of voice that was used.
Knowing what tone of voice, you’re comfortable with and the ones that trigger you the wrong way will help you to communicate to your partner which tones of voice to use more often when communicating with you so that you feel supported by your partner rather than leaving you feeling lonely and misunderstood.
Also, knowing the tone of voice that you use that uplifts or triggers your partner will help you to use more of the tone of voice that uplifts rather than triggers your partner so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship.
Tone of voice is subjective. You might be okay with some tones of voice and other tones of voice might trigger you and the same can be said for your partner.
It’s about being aware of your tone of voice and knowing which tones of voice uplifts you and which one triggers you as well as knowing which one uplifts and triggers your partner.
Using the tone of voice that uplifts and supports you and your partner when communicating so that you and your partner both feel supported when communicating with each other for a better and deeper personal relationship.
The Objective of the Game
The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re aware that tone of voice can be subjective.
Knowing and using the tone of voice that uplifts you and your partner when communicating to form a better connection.
Avoid using the tone of voice that triggers you and your partner.
If you managed to use the tone of voice that uplifts you and your partner to form a closer connection…That’s a win!
If you and your partner sometimes used the tone of voice that triggered rather than uplifted each other in your communication, that’s okay. Guess what?
You learned without losing.
Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.
Learning points in this example might be what can you do differently next time to use the tone of voice that will uplift or show support for your partner? Why do you think the tone of voice you used or your partner used triggered you or your partner? What can you do better next time?
You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable with the tone of voice you used in your communication.
This is the Communication Warrior.
You know your way to your tone of voice… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!
If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.
Warm regards,
Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com
Awareness | The COMMUNICATES Game
If you’re a sensitive, introverted, conflict phobic person who is also a people pleaser, and we’d love to be able to openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires without the fear of arguments or criticisms, so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship with your partner. Stay tuned for fun and valuable information.
Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to the communication warrior game, or what I like to call the communicate game.
Now, if you have missed the other seven videos, in this video series, that’s okay, stay here for now. And you can always catch up with those videos later on.
So in today’s communicate video series, we’re going to be talking about awareness, awareness of your words, awareness of your tone of voice, awareness of your facial expression, body language, hand gestures, and your communication. Because how many of you are truly aware of how you say things, or what you say, in your communication, because I like to present this as an analogy, think of an artist. And in this case, a painter who paints a picture, right, the painter is painting the picture. But as the painter is painting his or her picture, he or she is stepping back, taking a look at what he or she has painted. So far, the painter might add a few more colors, or take away a few colors, or make it a little bit more subtle, because the painter is creating a feeling that he or she wants the viewer that’s viewing the painting, to have to experience and so you as the communicator, you are also creating a feeling and an image of what you want your listener to have when you’re communicating with him. And so you as the communicator, you’re also creating an image or a feeling that you want your listener to have as you are communicating to him or her. So, the painter has tools, paint brushes, paints, Canvas or paper to paint on. And you as your communicator, your tools are your words, your tone of voice, your body language, facial expressions, and perhaps even your hands if you’d like to talk with your hands. And then for the people who are deaf, they communicate using your hands through sign language. So awareness then becomes that you are aware of what you are saying and how you’re saying things along with using all your other tools to create that image and the feeling that you want your listener to have.
So let’s see how the four communication characters the communicators show their awareness and their communication.
So our first communication character communicator is stance dance is our confident communicator. So let’s welcome stance. So, stance is going to be aware of his or her words and actions, you know body language as well as facial expressions, whatever it may be, because scamps is confident. So stance wants to demonstrate the confidence by showing that he or she is aware and because scan’s is aware of his or her words and actions and how it can impact a person’s feeling. When Stan’s communicates with his or her partner, they’re going to take into account that they want to create a certain feeling that they want their partners to have stands and is also aware of the feeling that the partner also is portraying. And so Scam School very clearly will skate why you know your to the partner you’re making me feel this way or your words makes me feel a certain way because stance understands how words can impact a person’s feeling and what words can also create a certain feeling so that is stance
Alright, let’s welcome our next communication character our next communicator will be brash All right Hello brash this is our arrogant communicator and brash isn’t so much concerned about his or her actions or the words. So in some ways, brash may or may not be completely aware of his or her actions or the words they’re saying or how it might impact a person. You know, brash is just concerned about just getting the message out, right. And making sure that whatever needs to be said is said, however, brash may not be completely aware that what he says or what what he or she says, or how they say it might impact the partners feelings, or who they’re speaking to, how it might impact the feeling of the listener, so brash might be a very much of a motivator, wants to motivate the person, or his or her partner, however, because of the words, or the tone of voice or the action of it, and might be off putting, right because it might come off as too aggressive, or too much of, you know, fire or, or what have you that it just doesn’t make the person feel comfortable and brash may or may not be aware of this, right? Because brash just wants to get the message across, like, you can do it, you can get it done, you know, what have you. But the other person that’s listening is kind of like going, Well, I appreciate you letting them let me know, yes, I can do this. But it’s too aggressive for me, then it’s, you know, it almost feels like you’re yelling at me, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to be yelled at. Right. So to some people, they don’t mind. They like that, kind of like drill sergeant that yeah, you know, to help them to move and help them to stay on track. For some people, it can be like, you know, you’re yelling at me, I don’t want to be yelled at, I don’t know, you know, do you have to shout at me, I mean, I’m responsible, I do get things done, but you yelling me or I SCORM you making me feel like you’re yelling at me, is not helping me. I don’t feel supported that way. Right. So, you know, again, brash may or may not be aware that that action is creating a certain feeling in the person. Again, they’re just wanting to, you know, their, their intention is to motivate the person, but they might not be aware, like how they’re motivating the person is maybe actually doing the opposite. So that that’s brush, right. So, again, a brush may or may not be aware of how his or her action is actually impacting the person’s feeling.
All right, and so our next communicator is gray, and gray as our timet. Communicator, here is gray. Now, gray is very much a person that wants to avoid conflict, right? Hannah wants to hide in the background a bit, you know. So gray might be one that’s a little bit too overly sensitive of the actions. And other words, gray might be overly hypersensitive, or almost hyper aware of his or her words and actions, that they feel like, every word or every action they do, might create a conflict with a person they’re speaking with, they’re afraid that whatever they say, or a word that is spoken, or an action that is given, you know, a body language or facial expression might be picked up wrong by the other person, that now there’s going to be a conflict because of it. So gray might be like really overly, like a say maybe hyper aware of the words and actions to the point where then it’s almost like great, feel stuck, right? And doesn’t want to say anything or do any thing like me, you know, really aware of the body language. So they might just kind of hold themselves tight and try to keep a neutral face or you know, try to keep their voice as calm as possible, because they feel it maybe in a lot of ways that anything they say or do keep might be picked up wrong. And then therefore creating that conflict that they are trying to avoid. And so a lot of cases gray or timid communicator might be more of the type of person to hold back. Right because, again,
they might feel like the words and the action Some might be picked up wrong, that would create a conflict. So what gray needs to realize is that some times, yes, it can be the words and the actions. However many, many situations, they are not responsible. Right? They’re not responsible how the person is going to react, the sky is blue, the person might react positively like, Hey, son. And for some people, the person might react very badly, like, yeah, it’s blue, and the sun is blinding my eyes, and it’s super hot, and what have you, right? So gray could just simply say, hey, it’s a nice day, the sky is blue. And the other person can be set off by it. Right? Either in a positive way, saying, yeah, the sky is blue, nice day, you know, day to go out where the other person might react very badly and say, yeah, the sky is blue, the sun is blinding my eyes, and it’s super hot outside, yay. Yeah, we can’t do anything in the yard because it’s too hot, or what have you. So what gray needs to realize is communicate in a way that is comfortable for him or her use the words that resonate, and also try to use words that resonate with the person they’re speaking with. And as the person reacts badly, just realize it’s not on gray, it’s actually on the other person. So what is difficult here, it’s about responsibility for our relationships. Yes, we are responsible for our relationships, we are responsible for what we say and how we say things, right? Because we don’t want to be too aggressive. But sometimes we might need to be what we have, perhaps a challenge of is knowing when we are no longer responsible, we’re not responsible for the person’s reaction, we might do things and say things very clearly and in a calm voice, but the other person might pick up wrong. And this is where great my struggle, because in some ways, we’re not responsible for the person being happy or not, we can say all the right things, and do all the right actions. However, that person might not be happy with us, they might still complain. And they might say, Well, you didn’t do this, and you should have done this. And so in some aspect, we can only do the best that we can, and make sure that we’re saying things and doing things to the best of our ability, but how the person reacts that might not be so much on our part. I hope that explains a little bit better. So that’s where some of that communication part. Some of the times it’s kind of difficult is like yes, we’re responsible for our relationship, but how much responsibility do we take and how much do we say, you know, what, this is not part of my responsibility that is on the other person. And I think sometimes it’s that fine line that makes it perhaps difficult for gray to decide or to distinguish of, you know, what I am responsible for that I am able to speak out and what is not part of my responsibility and that is on the other person.
We have bled our Shapeshifter communicator blend. So, blend is going to be able to sense the room since the person sense the situation and then decide how he or she is going to be either going to be like stance, the confident communicator or perhaps brash, the arrogant communicator or perhaps like gray, the timid communicator. So, you know, because blend can sense the room sense the person’s sense of situation, blind is just going to choose and decide, which perhaps the character with a communicator will be better for that situation. Again, there’s no right or wrong way to communicate, or there’s no good or bad communication characters or communicator. You know, each has its strengths as well as its weaknesses. And bland is going to try for the most part to grab on to all the communicators in a positive way to be able to communicate and show awareness of the actions. So in some situations, it might be necessary to grab the positive aspect of brash and in communicating the awareness Right, if the person has a cutting of not paying attention or not being aware of him or herself, bland might just say, You know what, then in this case, I need to be brash, you know, in a positive way. And then perhaps in some situations, blend my say I am, I’m gonna use gray gray strength, in awareness when communicating, and then also perhaps in some situations stance, right. So blend is going to, in most cases, use the positive characters, or the positive aspects of the communication characters. And using the ability of the, of the awareness of each of the characters or whichever characters blend chooses to use, but in a positive way of communicating the awareness of being aware of how he or she communicates as well.
And then, of course, you as the communication character. And this is you being confident, right, and being aware of what you say, and how you communicate to your partner to create that feeling. And if you don’t sometimes need to be like, brash, you’re aware of that. You are also aware when sometimes you might need to be like stance or gray. But you being aware of that, in itself makes you the communication warrior, because you know, then, you know, this is how I need to be, or this is what I this is a character I am going to be or choosing to be, and communicating because you are now aware of that. You’re now creating that image and the feeling that you want your listener to have your partner to have when you’re communicating with your partner. And if you don’t feel like a communication warrior yet.
That’s okay. I invite you to visit my website, Grace solutions.com. That’s GRACESOULU t i o n s.com. To see how you can book a free communication breakthrough session with me, where we will discover five obstacles and one action step that you can take that will move you forward to becoming a communication warrior. And in the next video series, we’re going to be talking about tone of voice. So we’ll see how the four communication characters the four communication communicators deal with tone of voice, so stay tuned for that. Thank you for being here. I look forward to seeing you here again next time.
Now go and have fun communicating!
Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Awareness of Words and Actions)
Sometimes you can become upset, even overwhelmingly so, that you might not be aware of your actions.
You might not even be aware of the words that are coming out of your mouth.
You know you’re angry and upset, and your expression shows it.
How aware are you of what you’re saying and acting during the moment of anger?
Do you later regret your actions and what’ve you said during the heat of the moment?
Do you wonder what you did or said while you were upset?
You might’ve felt like it was an out of body experience and something, maybe some kind of energy took over you, and you felt like you had no control over your mind and body.
You just acted out and said what you said because you were just that angry and you just let whatever came to your brain fly out.
What if you stopped for a moment and took a good look at your actions and words as if you were an outsider observing your situation?
If you were the observer, what would you think or say about the situation you just observed of someone yelling, hitting, swearing, etc. during the heat of the moment?
Would it scare you or would you think “if it was me, I would do xyz?”
It’s easy to say what you would do differently when you’re calm and not in that moment. But what if you were in that moment?
Could you stop yourself and take a pause so that you didn’t continue the destructive path?
Could you say to yourself, “no, enough of this, we can disagree and have a constructive conversation through our disagreement?”
What would a constructive conversation during a heated disagreement look like?
How could you have that constructive conversation during a dispute when you’re upset and angry?
Afterall, this is real life and you’re not on some tv show where the scripts are written out and you memorize the lines during an argument.
There are, however, some things you can do.
Yes, I’m well aware of what I’m going to share with you will sound easy. But it may feel hard to do especially when you’re upset and angry.
It’s easy to give advice, and to follow suggestions when you’re calm and not involved in the moment.
This is where awareness becomes important. When you’re aware you can take control of the situation before the situation takes control of you.
The first thing is to be aware of your mind and body. Be aware of your thoughts and how your body is feeling.
Be aware of when you know you’re going to explode and stop yourself by taking a deep breath.
Now take a few more deep breaths.
This is the challenging part; however, remember that you’re in control.
While the other person might be speaking or yelling, restrain yourself from reacting, and continue to take deep breaths until you’re in enough control to address the situation.
Actively notice what you’re noticing, be aware of your surroundings, and the feelings in your body.
The next tricky part: you’re not going to react, you’re going to respond by being mindful of the words that you say.
The words are deliberate and you know exactly what you’re saying with conscious thought.
You’re no longer saying the first thing that comes out of your brain.
You’re being mindful of exactly what you’re saying to express your feelings, and you have the awareness of the way you’re delivering the message with the use of your body language, facial expression, and tone of voice.
You’re in control of the situation through the awareness of the words you’re saying and how you’re saying it with the use of your body language, facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice during the argument.
When the situation or argument is controlling you, you lose your awareness, and that is when you say whatever comes out of your mouth, and act and behave whatever reflexively comes to you.
Do you want to be in control, or do you want the situation and argument to control you?
The take away here is to be aware of your words and actions so that you’re in control of the situation or argument and not the other way around.
I’m not going to say that it is easy to do; however, it can be done with practice.
Practice being mindful of your words and actions during any conversation whether it be while you’re calm or in an argument with your partner is the start to awareness.
The Objective of the Game
The ‘winning’ objective is that you’re aware of your words and actions especially during the heat of an argument.
There are times where the situation or argument might get the best of you; however, were able to stop it or reduce the destructive conversation?
If you managed to control the situation and argument through awareness of your words and actions… That’s a win!
If you allowed moments of the situation or argument getting the best of you, and controlled you rather than you controlling it, then guess what?
You learned without losing.
Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.
Learning points in this example might be:
- What can you do differently next time so that you can control the situation or argument through awareness?
- Why did you lose control of your words or anger in the first place?
- What can you do better so that you’re more aware of your words and actions during an argument next time?
You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable when you want to be in control of the situation or argument and not the other way around.
This is the Communication Warrior.
You know your way to becoming aware of your words and actions… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!
If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.
Warm regards,
Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com
Choices | The COMMUNICATES Game
If you’re a sensitive, introverted, conflict phobic person who is also a people pleaser, and you would love to openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires, without the fear of arguments or criticisms, so that you can have a happy and harmonious relationship with your partner. Stay tuned for fun and valuable information.
Hi, I’m Grace, and welcome to The Communication Warrior Game, or what I like to call The COMMUNICATES Game. Now, if you have missed the other videos, in this communicates game video series, that’s okay. Stay here for now. And you can always catch up with the other videos later on.
So in today’s video, in the communicate game, we’re going to talk about choices. Now, sometimes you might have a choice, and it might affect your partner. And in some situations, your partner might agree with your choice or the decision you’re going to make. And sometimes you’re going to make a choice that is good for you. However, your partner may not understand it. And so therefore, there might be some disagreements, or one of you might need to back down or a compromise is going to be made. So what to do when your partner doesn’t agree with the choice that you are making, or a decision that you want to make for yourself. And one of the situations it might be about self development. Right? In a lot of cases, a lot of the choices that we make for ourselves, can lead to improving our self development for self growth. So you might be wanting to lose some weight, or learn to communicate with your partner better. And so you’re looking at programs and you feel like there’s a coach that can help you. But then money comes into play. And so you are making a choice that, “hey, I would love to join this program.” But because of budget or financial reasons, your partner may not agree. So you’re making a choice that you would love to participate. However, there might be some money restrictions attached to it. So what do you do in that situation? What do you do when your partner doesn’t agree with you, or perhaps you feel like your partner may not support you, because there’s other pressing matters, that needs to be taken care of first.
So let’s check in with our four communication characters, and see how they would deal with the situation when they’re faced with choices and how they would communicate it to their partner. So our first communication character is Stance, and Stance is our confident communicator. So welcome Stance.
Alright, so Stance realizes that he or she has a choice. And yes, the choice can impact the family in general, right? Again, let’s just use the example of say, wanting a coach to help with self development. And let’s say it’s for weight loss, or better health, how about let’s do better health because health is important, right? If you don’t have good health, you’re not going to be able to do your job or take care of the person or even take care of yourself. So let’s in this case, let’s talk about improving better health. And so Stance sees a program that could help improve his or her health and of course there’s money attached to it. And in Stance’s mind, it is a lot of money. However, Stance feels like if we budget well, he or she could afford this program. However, Stance’s partner may not understand the program and feel like it could be a waste of money, because scans can just eat healthy and that will be enough and Stance’s mind Stance feels that he or she requires further coaching or further support to help to make sure that the habit sticks. So, Stance realizes that he or she has a choice and your choice will affect the family or the partner. So Stance is going to perhaps present his or her case, right? Present why he or she wants to participate in the program. And Stance may tell his or her partner in a way that’s says, “you know, I understand that you might not agree with me. And you might feel like I can do this on my own. However, for me, personally, I feel I could use an additional support somebody who will hold me accountable, and help me to make this habit stick. So, although you may not agree with me, I would just love for you to support me, just support me. You know, as far as the money is concerned, I understand your concern with you know, the amount. However, I have figured out some budgeting of how I can afford this program without really harming the budget.” So Stance is just going to stand in his or her own power in another words in their own confidence that they acknowledge that their partners may not understand or want to– or feel that it is necessary for Stance to be in the program. Stance understands that his or her partner may not understand why they want to participate in the in the program because they are not wanting to be in a program, right? It’s not for them, but it is for Stance. So Stance acknowledges that, that they may not understand his or her partner may not understand why Stance wants to be in this program. However, they’re not looking for so much of approval, because they already kind of figured out how it can work out. They’re just looking for their partner just to support just to say, yes, okay, I may not understand it. But if this is something you want to do, and you figure it out how to do it, then yes, go ahead and do what you need to do. And if you need an accountability partner, then tell me what I can do to support you and be your accountibility partner when you’re finished with the program, perhaps so Stance’s is just going to be very clear on what he or she requires. So moving on to our next character.
All right here we have Brash and Brash is our arrogant communicator, and Brash is going to be a type of person that perhaps is say, “you know, I have made my choice, you don’t have to agree with me, I’ve made it, I’ve done it, it’s a done deal.” So Brash is just going to do whatever is necessary to help him or herself, right. And they don’t mind whether or not you agree, they have already just put out their credit card number of purchases, and just say, you know what it’s paid for. And whatever else happens, we will figure it out. But I know this is for me, and I’m just gonna go ahead and go right for it. And that is Brash’s choice, he, he or she has made that choice and made a decision that this is a program for them. They say yes, I want it and they’ve done it. And all the finances everything else, they will figure it out as it comes along. Right. But they know that this is what they need. They’ve made the choice, and they have gone for it. And that is Brash. Brash is just, I know what I want, go out for it. And then everything else will all be figured out as they come through. That’s more or less how Brash is going to be regarding to his or her choice. They know what they want. And they go for it. All right, so that’s Brash. And let’s see our next character.
All right, we have Gray, and Gray is our timid communicator. Now Gray knows what he or she wants, and you will love to make that choice of being in the program. However, Gray is going to take an account of everything that budget what the spouse says. And then most likely, a majority of the cases, Gray’s choice is going to be impacted by the other factors, the budget factor, the spouse, and so Gray might just be willing to pause right and hold off actually enrolling in the program. So in Gray’s mind, Gray is going to say well, if not today, and I’m sure this program will be offered again. Gray might be willing just to say you know what? I can’t do it this time but I’ll save up so that perhaps the next time it’s offered, I will be able to enroll in it then. In the majority of situations, Gray is going to be the one that perhaps realize the choice will be good for him or her. However, because of all the other situations, they’re not going to just say, Well, you know, this is what I want, and I’m just going to step into it, they’re going to, most likely, say “Well, I see, you know, what my spouse says, I see the situation, you know, I’m willing to hold off on this choice for now. And I’ll work on saving it up. So the next time the program comes around, I can then enroll in a choice.” And sometimes, and in some situations, Gray might not even be sure if the choice is right for him or herself. So, sometimes Gray might actually go to the partner or go to some other person, a friend or family member, and ask for their advice and say, “Hey, there’s this program. I like it for this and this reason, you know, obviously, there’s some budget things going on. However, I’m not really sure because you know, I’m committed.” But then, of course, there’s time factors, all these other things that comes up. And then I’m in some situations that the choices the decision is made for Gray. You know, people might say, “well, you know, I would probably wait, maybe you can save it up for later. Or, you know, it sounds like you’re interested in a program, however, you know, do you really want to put more things on your plate,” you know, so majority is a situation. So because Gray is not entirely sure whether or not he or she should participate in the program, a lot of times Gray will rely on other people’s advice. And then from there to make the decision of whether or not to participate. So in some situations, it appears that Gray’s choices are made by other people, you know, by the partner or family member or friends, a lot of the times it feels like Gray is not making his or her own choice. So much as sometimes in some situations, it feels like other people are helping Gray to decide or choose whether or not to be in a program. So again, because Gray is, you know, looking at it from all different aspects. And then from their wanting to make the best choice that is more or less for the other people, rather than really looking down for him or herself. You know, Gray is a timid communicator. So Gray again, most likely don’t want to create a conflict. So he’s– he or she’s looking for advice and seeing what the majority of the people think. And then almost making the decision or the choice based on what the popular choice is from other people from the feedback that Gray is getting. So again, there’s not a right or wrong way of making choices is just each communication character, whether it be Stance, Brash or Gray. They’re making the choices and the decisions based on their comfort level based on their personality, and based on so many other different factors. But Gray again, is most likely going to be making a choice based on what the popular vote might be. Even though Gray may feel this program is good for him or her however, again, they’re not entirely sure and so they’re going out and kind of almost collecting the votes and see you know, should Gray actually participate or not in some ways. Not all situations not all to the communicator make choices that way. But in some cases in the majority of cases, perhaps we don’t know all the situations however a majority of cases, timid would make choices based off of kind of like I said popular votes.
All right. And then we have Blend there is Blend so Blend is our Shape Shifter communicator. And so Blend when given a choice may blend and become either Stance or Brash or Gray, right. Sometimes depending upon the situation or the program I’m where the cost Blend is either going to sometimes be like Stance, be like Brash or be like Gray. So, again, Blend can kind of sense the mood sense the situation, and sense whether or not the program is really truly right for him or her. So from there, again, Blend might decide, you know, I’m gonna be like Stance in this situation or I might be like Brash or I might be like Gray when talking to my partner, or a friend or whoever it is about the program that I’m looking to enroll. So Blend is going to say, you know, this is the program, I want to talk to my partner about it. Now, because of this program because of the cause. Today, it’s going to be more like Stance, or it might be more like Brash or a maybe more like Gray. Again, depending upon the situation depending upon, you know, how Blend truly feels about the program.
And then this is what we want you to feel when communicating your choice with your partner, you as a Communication Warrior. You. This is you as the Communication Warrior, where you feel confident, and you can openly communicate your choices to your partner, “hey, I have this program is you know, this is a good fit for me, I can budget we can work it out.” You feel open and confident and communicating to your partner what it is that you want, and why you want to participate in a program, why it’s worth it to you why you feel that this program is a big value for you, for you to right now be in it. And so you no longer feel like you need to hide that, right? You feel like a Communication Warrior, where you are just open and confident and communicating to your partner. And knowing exactly what you need from your partner, whether it’d be support, or it’d be I know exactly how to budget you don’t need to worry about it. Or just to say you know, I’m not really sure. And I would really appreciate your feedback just so I can have a bit more information from, you know, what your thoughts are your perspective, whatever it is that you require, you know how to ask for it.
So that is what a Communication Warrior is all about. It’s about you being confident and communicating what it is that you want, and what it is that you require from your partner. And if you don’t feel like you’re a Communication Warrior yet, that’s okay. I invite you to visit my website, GraceSOULutions.com. That’s GraceSOULutions.com. To see how you can book a free communication breakthrough session with me, where we will discover five obstacles, and one step
that will help you to move forward to becoming a Communication Warrior where you can openly and confidently communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires without the fear of arguments or criticisms so that you can have that happy and harmonious relationship with your partner without ever feeling lonely in your relationship. And in the next video, we’re going to see how the four characters how Stance, Brash, Gray and Blend are going to deal with awareness, awareness of their actions and their communication.
So keep your eyes out for the next video on awareness of action. And again, thank you for being here.
Now go out and have fun communicating!
Let’s Play COMMUNICATES (Choose Your Path)
Everyone has a certain path or journey that he or she is traveling on during his or her lifetime.
Including you.
As you travel on your path during your journey, choices or opportunities will be presented to you.
You will look at your opportunities and choices and decide the one that is best for you at that moment.
Sometimes the choices you make (or want to make) may not make sense to the people you have relationships with.
I will share with you, my story.
When I decided and chose to be an entrepreneur or solopreneur, my husband couldn’t understand why I would go down this path when I had a steady job as a speech-language pathologist.
I earned a good income working in hospitals and as a travel therapist.
I wanted time, money, and freedom and chose a path where I could dictate my own time and money.
I couldn’t see myself having time and money freedom if I continued to work as a speech-language pathologist.
I can honestly tell you that my husband didn’t like my decision in choosing to be a solopreneur and giving up a steady income; however, that is the path I have chosen, and I have stuck with it.
Is it stubbornness on my part? Perhaps.
Is it that I believe in myself and believe that I can do it and succeed as a solopreneur? Absolutely!
My husband is supportive with what I am doing and working on, and he does his best to show his support.
I am more of a risk taker than my husband, if you can’t tell already.
I appreciate him doing his best to show his support even if he might not agree with my choice or decision.
Sometimes that will happen. Either you’ll make the choice that your partner doesn’t agree with or vice versa.
Here’s the thing.
Your partner can still support you and show their support even if they doesn’t agree with you and vice versa.
If you want to have a happy and harmonious relationship, then you are going to have to allow the person to make certain choices or decisions for themselves that differ from yours.
You want to be able to communicate your thoughts of choices or decisions you want to make for yourselves. That will benefit you and your partner.
Likewise, you want your partner to feel like they can communicate to you their thoughts about choices or decisions they want to make to better your lives together.
Sometimes your partner (or you) may not be comfortable with the choice or decision that is presented because of fear.
Fear of failure, fear of money (lack of money), fear of (fill-in-the-blank), and what-ifs (something bad happens).
Fear is good at keeping people and you at status quo.
When you follow your heart and do what you love, then you’ll be able to conquer your fear.
Afterall there is a saying, “Love can conquer fear.”
I’m not going to say that you won’t encounter obstacles and challenges along the way because you will.
I’ve had encountered my fair share of challenges and obstacles along my journey.
What I will say is that you’ll be able to overcome your obstacles and challenges because everything is figureoutable.
That I know from my own personal experience.
I would also like to add that…
Choose Your Path can also mean that you are choosing activities that will benefit your relationship with your partner such as choosing the way you communicate so that you can have more constructive conversations rather than destructive conversations with your partner.
Choosing to be aware of the way you communicate and how you communicate with your partner, choices or decisions will be presented to you during your lifetime and you want to be able to communicate your choices or decisions with your partner.
Your partner should also feel like they can communicate their choices or decisions with you.
The choices or decisions may be presented to the individual; however, the choice or decision made may impact the relationship.
Likely the choice or decision made will be the one that would benefit the relationship.
It’s about choosing the path, being able to discuss your choices and decisions. Having that support even if the person disagrees with you.
Also, choosing to have constructive conversations rather than destructive conversations when discussing choices or decisions.
The Objective of the Game
The ‘winning’ objective is that you allow the person to make the choice or decision that is best for him or her and give support even if you don’t agree.
The choice or decision made will benefit the relationship rather than hinder the relationship.
If you managed to openly communicate your thoughts and the choices or decisions you’re making, and your partner supports you even if he or she might not agree with you…That’s a win!
If you and your partner couldn’t openly communicate thoughts, and the choices or decisions because of fear, that’s okay. Guess what?
You learned without losing.
Remember there is no losing in this game, only learning.
Learning points in this example might be:
- What can you do differently next time so that you can share your thoughts and choices while asking for support?
- What are the fears towards the choices or decisions?
- Why do you have these fears?
- What can you do to have constructive conversation when sharing your choices or decisions when partner doesn’t or might not agree with you?
You earn bonus points when you’re bold and step into your authenticity of the character you want to portray and hold yourself accountable when making the choice or decision that will be best for you and that will benefit you and your partner.
This is the Communication Warrior.
You know your way to choose your path… Now Go Play and Have Fun Communicating!
If you’re an introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic person who would love to become and feel like a communication warrior then click below to book your free Communication Breakthrough Session where we will discover 5 obstacles that is stopping your from becoming a communication warrior.
Warm regards,
Grace CW Liu
Communication Coach & Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com