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Deep Dive on Attention | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace, and welcome to sensitive communication tips. So today we’re going to do a deep dive on a tension. But before we start that, just want to do a quick review. In the previous video, I talked about the word communicate what each of those letters stands for thus far. So we still have a few more letters to go through. But those will be coming up as we moved towards the end of the month, so each letter for each month, all right. And then I also gave you some tips as to what to do say if you’re speaking to a person who is doing an another activity. So just watching TV, listening to music, whatever it is. So if the other person is distracted, you want to limit the distraction as much as you can, either by muting, turning it off, calling that person getting that person away from that distraction, whatever it is, so that you have that person’s attention, so that you can clearly make sure that they now have your message you want to share. The other way to get the attention is if you’re in separate rooms or separate parts of the house, you either want to walk to that person or call that person. So that person is now coming towards you to where you are located. So again, you have each other’s attention when communicating sharing messages, because part of communication is not just about words, and body language and all that those are all very important. However, you also need to make sure you have the person’s attention because delivery is just as important as making sure you have the person’s attention and how you deliver depends if whether or not you have that person’s attention. So then, if you can tell already, I am big on attention.

So making sure that again, you have that person’s attention by eliminating distractions, and also making sure you are both located at the same location. And sometimes you might have a hectic morning, afternoon, evening, whatever it is rushing around doing activities, or going from one activity to the next or one place to the next, whatever it is. So before you let the person go, especially if you have an important task for that person to do, you don’t want that person just to fly by, you want that person to stop and repeat or paraphrase what you said. One, it gives you a peace of mind that they got your message. They know what you want them to do. And second, it also helps them to remember what it is you want that person to do. Because when you bring in the attention and the focus, and also helps with memory. Now, on today’s video with a deep dive on attention, I want to talk about more about what to do when you’re talking to a professional such as a doctor lawyer, having a porter meeting, whatever it is what to do in those situations, when you need to make sure you have the person’s attention, you have a limited amount of time. And you want to make sure that you give yourself a peace of mind as well. So I am going to use the example of a medical office, being that I came from a medical background. So I know a lot extensively of what happens am in the doctor’s office, alright, so if you are already doing the suggestions that I am going to be presenting good because that means you’re already advocating and doing whatever it is that you need to do to give yourself a peace of mind. And if you are not doing the things that I am suggesting here, then my recommendation is that you choose whatever strategies that will work for you to help to give you a peace of mind. When you’re in a doctor’s office. You know, doctors are busy because they’re seeing patients they got a schedule and sometimes they do run behind and everything. However, when you have the time with a doctor, and you know not that the doctors not focused on you, but as you’re speaking to the doctor, every now and then they’re also looking at a time to see you know how much time they have left with you because they also have to make sure that they give themselves enough time to get to the next patient. And also, sometimes they might not think of everything because you’re in it so much that they might not think of all the questions that each patient might have. So my suggestion is First, write down all the questions that you might possibly have for the doctor, write it all down, you know, don’t say, Oh, I have it in my head. Because when the doctor is presenting some information to you, you’re so busy processing everything that you’re hearing that all of a sudden, all of the questions that you might have had goes out the door. So be sure to write down all the questions on a piece of paper and bring it with you to the doctor’s office, all the questions that you feel like you might want to ask, so that when you’re in the office, and a doctor sharing some results, or sharing whatever it is, that you have some questions already, because, again, you’re processing all the information that the doctors giving you. And you’re so busy with all that, when you have the questions in front of you, you can just say, oh, yeah, I was gonna ask about this. And so it’s all right there. So you don’t have to try to wrack your brain to think about what the questions were that you wanted to ask. And also, by looking at the questions, some of the answers that were provided by the doctors have, have maybe already answered some of your questions. And then there’s like, Great, okay, I don’t have to ask these questions, then he already addressed them, I already know what’s what I need to know. Also, don’t be afraid to take some notes, if you need to, the doctor is going some information, you want to kind of remember, you can always say your doctor, I just want to jot some things down. So that way, I don’t forget them later on. Because I don’t know about you some things I’m good with memory. And some things I am not so good with memory. So it’s always good to write things down. So that you have it again for later for peace of mind. Okay. And then on your part, because there are so many things, perhaps you want to remember, at the very end, the doctrine typically always asked, Do you have any questions for me now, this is a time where again, when you can pull out the questions that you have pre written, I also suggest that you just do a quick review, you don’t have to go word by word verbatim of what the doctor just told you through, however, the 45 minute or whatever, minute sessions that you had together, but you want to have some clarity. And also, to clarify what you heard. So you could do a quick paraphrasing, of you know what the doctor said. So if the doctor says, you know, you need to take a certain medication for this, and this medication is going to help you with that. So you could just say, and then he might ask you, do you have any questions? So this is where you could just say, okay, so what I hear you saying is, I need to take this medicine for this amount of times for this purpose, and this medication, this amount of time, for that purpose, am I missing anything? And then this is where the doctor can either say, Yes, you got it all. Or, you know, oh, no, you just met, you just got that medication reverse this one is for this, this one is for that, then it helps you to make a better understanding of, you know, the medications that you have to take. So a lot of times, it also helps to make sure that you have the clarity of what it is that you are hearing, and that you are actually processing the information correctly. So that when you go home, you know exactly what you need to do as far as the medications, or the test result that you received. Again, writing it down,

paraphrasing it back to the doctor will all help, again, with the clarity. And by doing this, you are also bringing the focus of what is being said to you, and to help you with the peace of mind. Because if you just kind of like just sit there, and you know, you just kind of listen to your doctor, and then then, you know, the doctor says Do you have any questions, anything like that? And you say no, I’m good and stuff like that. Well, you were listening, but you weren’t truly engaging or focused. So that by the time you go home, you might be thinking I think the doctor mentioned about this, but I’m not sure did he say something about this and yeah, he told me to take this medicine I think is for this, um, but I’m not really all that Clear, you know. So, it there’s a difference between being an active listener and being fully engaged. And that means the full focus and attention so that you have the clarity, and you have everything that you need for your peace of mind, as well as making sure that the minister you spend with the Medical Doctor in this case, is well spent, right. So you can put into practice these suggestions. And any situation such as you know, maybe when you’re talking to a lawyer, or when you are engaged in an important meeting, where you’re working through contracts, whatever it is, I just gave an example of, like I say, the medical office in those cases, because of my background, however, you can apply these, these strategies that I talked about, and any important meetings, especially when time is of the essence, right, you want to make the most of the time that you have with that person or in that meeting. So again, if you have any questions, you know, make sure you kind of write them down beforehand. I always say keep paper pads or an a pen handy. So that way you can jot notes as as you need to. And then again, if the when the person asks, Do you have any questions?

If the person has already addressed all the questions that you have written, rather than just saying no, then this is where you can say, I just want to make sure that I understood what you said. So basically, your you said, XY and Z, and you’re basically just paraphrasing really quickly, what you heard, that is important to you for your peace of mind. And again, if the doctors or whoever asked you, do you have any questions? If none of those questions that you had written down, and they’re still very important to you, then by all means, of course, by that time you want, again, yes, you can still paraphrase what you heard, and then say, Yeah, I do have a question, or I do have some questions. But before I get to my questions, I just want to paraphrase everything you just said. So paraphrase everything and make just, again, for clarity and make sure you got what ever it is a you want to get for your peace of mind. And then go ahead and then address your questions. And so you think you’re eating up time, but really, you’re not because you’re already well prepared. It’s not like you’re searching for questions up in the air. Again, if you didn’t have the pre written questions or anything. And you’re listening to all this, you know, all the information that was given to you. And you’re so busy processing the affirmation. And a doctor asked you, do you have any questions? You might have had some but you now can think about it. That’s okay. Still paraphrase, though, what you have heard so far, because sometimes by paraphrasing, what you heard, may also then jot down jot a question that may be perhaps you hacked. But basically, you just don’t want to waste too much time is saying, Yeah, I have a question. But let me see if I can remember. And then now you’re wasting kind of precious minutes, that could be better spent. So I hope that made sense. So I hope you found the suggestions to be helpful. So the big takeaway, the big tip that I have for you is, before you leave there, meaning the office, whatever it is, that you clarify the information that you received, by repeating, paraphrasing what you heard, and then have any questions that you might want to ask pre written so that you have a with you, I have pen and paper. So you are always ready to take notes. Because some of those questions might pop up as the person is sharing information. Or they might be sharing some information that you want to read, make sure you remember. So just being able to have that capability of taking notes when you need to, is also very helpful. If you have any suggestions or any tips of your own that you would like to share, please feel free to do so I only ask that you do that with respect support and kindness. And if you would like to know how you can develop more of it effective and effortless communication in your personal relation Schiff’s, then please feel free to visit my website Grace That’s GRACESOULU t i o n And thank you for being here. I look forward to seeing you here again next time. Take care. Bye for now.