[In this COMMUNICATES series just know you are the Main Character.] 

In the eighth part of COMMUNICATES Happily Ever After, we’re going to explore Complaints.

If you’re into reading or telling stories you know that the main characters can encounter people or situations to complain about or the people, go to the main characters to complain about a person or situation as they go through their journey.

Encountering different people and situations isn’t always easy and so for you, as the main character you will undoubtedly encounter a person or situation that you want to complain about, or a person or group of people come to you constantly to complain about someone or something.

That is just part of being human and having human experiences.

What do you do when you come across a situation where you’re constantly complaining, or people constantly come to you to complain about someone or something?

Magic phrases that will lead to happily ever after…

 

Magic phrase (if you’re the complainer):

I feel frustrated or disappointed with or about _______
(state the person or situation that is frustrating you)

What are some things I can do to improve the situation?
(make a list of what you can do to make it better such as changing your attitude, limiting contact with person, ignore the other person’s behaviors, offer suggestions to improve situation if appropriate, and so forth.)

Magic phrase (if person or people come to complain to you):

I hear your frustration about_____
(repeat back the person’s list of complaints).

What do you think you can do to improve the situation or situation with the person?
(This allows the person to think about what he or she can do to allow him or her feel empowered rather than disempowered and so he or she start to think about finding solutions to his or her own problems rather than coming to you with complaints all the time.)

You acknowledge the feeling of your own frustrations, and you also think about ways to come up with solutions to problems so that you find less things to complain about.

Complaining doesn’t help you to find solutions, it just makes you wallow in your suffering.

Solutions help to end your suffering.

When someone complains to you to constantly complain about someone or situation you show that you’re listening to that person by listing all of the person’s complaints; however, you’re going to empower the person to come up with his or her own solutions by allowing him or her think about the changes he or she can make.

As a main character in your story, you can choose to wallow in your complaints and/or listen to other people’s complaints or you can choose to empower yourself and others by finding solutions that will solve your problems to eliminate the need to complain, and this will lead you to your happily ever after.