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Deep Dive on Sharing Ideas | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace, and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips. So today we’re doing a Deep Dive on Sharing Your Ideas. And then in the last video, I talked about ideas, and cultivating, you know, planning, doing all the necessary actions, whatever you can do to help to bring your idea into reality. And not all ideas are going to work. Of course, just like when you’re planting, in the last video, I talked about the sunflower.

So it’s just like when the sunflower or sometimes you can do all the necessary steps and everything but the sunflower may just not grow or grow very short. So– and that can happen with your ideas, and it may just become a reality somewhat, but then at the same time, the– some of your ideas may not become a reality at all, and that’s okay. It’s not a bad– it was not because it was due to a bad idea, or something that you could have done, or should have done better or anything like that. It’s just some ideas are not meant to be just like sometimes, plants and flowers just are not meant to grow. So, and just realize that you know just because one idea didn’t work doesn’t mean another idea won’t work, right? Another idea might come to you and then in that case that idea might become a reality. And it actually turned out to be better then what you had originally wanted the idea to work. So again, I like to view it as no idea is a bad idea or stupid idea or an idiotic idea, right?

So I gave three tips when regarding to ideas, it’s see no stupid, hear no stupid, speak no stupid, right? Because what you see is not stupid. What you hear is not stupid when what you say is not stupid. It just may not be the right idea. And it’s not because, again, it’s a stupid idea. It’s just something else may come along that’s better or some– and some other ideas may keep popping up that just doesn’t work. And but then later on you find a way to make it work.

And speaking of which, by the time you watch this video, the next day will be my husband’s birthday. So speaking about ideas, I am now thinking of ideas to celebrate my husband’s birthday. And there have been some ideas that I’ve had in the past that did not work. Now it wasn’t a stupid idea. But it just didn’t work. Given my husband’s personality and everything. So one idea that I had way back when, I took my husband to a restaurant called The Melting Pot. Now if you’ve ever been to a Melting Pot well then you know it’s like a fondue thing. And the atmosphere is nice, it’s very lovely. And– but it’s a fondue restaurant where you basically cook some of your own meal they give you a pot, you have cheese and you know oil for the for the meat and vegetables that cheeses were the bread and some of the vegetables and then the chocolate for like the dessert and stuff and you also get a salad. Well, I took my husband to the Melting Pot for a nice birthday meal and of course I paid for our meal. And you know I was working at that time as you know speech therapist in the hospital, so I was paid very well and treated my husband to the Melting Pot. Well later on down the line my husband has found the receipt for The Melting Pot and when he saw it, he’s like you we– you paid how much for this meal? It’s it he was appreciative that was a nice meal, but he goes why would you want to pay this amount of money when, you know, to cook your own food? You know we you could have easily gotten all the ingredients cooked a meal at home and we could have been could have had a nice birthday meal at home. Pay much less than going to a restaurant. But I understand and it’s not that my husband is frugal, but he’s economical. And I can understand that while he did enjoy, and we both did enjoy eating at The Melting Pot. Please understand, nothing against The Melting Pot. I would personally like to go there again. Perhaps with a group of friends, like girlfriends or what have you. Or even take my mom or something because we enjoy those type of ambience and all that stuff, where– but my husband just can’t fathom of paying that amount of money to cook your own food. So that his way of thinking now that’s his, you know, idea of you know, where money is better spent, right? So it’s not a bad idea, again, not a stupid idea. And going to The Melting Pot when I took him for, you know, a meal, I didn’t feel it was a stupid idea or bad idea. Now, some of you might say, Yeah, you know, you could have saved money, you could have gone to something, some other places that will be a far better place. And let me be a little bit cheaper or what have you.

Everybody has their own ideas, right? And the whole idea is, you might have from your own experience, someplace you would recommend or go to that might be a little bit better. Or some of you might say, Yeah, I’ve been to The Melting Pot. I’ve been there very few times, or so many times, whatever it may be, and say it’s well worth it, you know, to kind of spoil yourself, right? So everybody has that idea. And it’s all different. And that’s good. That’s what makes it interesting. Because obviously, there are some people that do enjoy going to those fondue restaurants, otherwise, there wouldn’t be any Melting Pot restaurants. Obviously, you know, some people do enjoy that. And so the people that go to experience it and have a great experience, and the people that came up with that idea, obviously are also making some profit. So what might sound like a bad idea, to one person might actually be a good idea to, to another person. So that’s why I say there are no bad ideas, no stupid ideas, right? That’s why I keep stressing about that. So again, I always come with a mindset when regarding to ideas, because it’s so individualized in some ways, that it’s all about, you know, seeing no stupid hearing no stupid and speaking, no stupid. So, I now know one idea that is not going to work to celebrate my husband’s birthday. What does work usually as having some close family or friends, to have a nice meal with them. You know, my husband can celebrate his birthday. Now, his family is obviously away in Scotland. So I’m hoping that perhaps one day, we can get onto a video call and have my husband meet and talk to his family over the video. And, of course, not as good as person to person. But at least everybody can kind of see each other. So I’ve been trying to work on that for a while. But because of the time differences and everybody’s own schedule, and everything we’ll have to see.

So anyway, so that is all about sharing ideas in communication. And again, don’t feel like you have to share your ideas, if you don’t want to with the other person. But if you do share your ideas, don’t be embarrassed by your idea. And the person– and the person who is listening to the idea. Don’t be so quick to judge whether an idea is good or bad, right? Perhaps there are some good questions, you know, that you might be thinking about. And you could certainly ask that person, you know, about certain aspects of it, that the first– than the other person may not have thought off. However, with the, you know, brainstorming, the sharing and everything. It can make the idea maybe even better, so we can make that into a reality. Again, come with a mindset of there’s no bad ideas, no stupid ideas. And when you’re hearing an idea come with a mindset of being no stupid ideas, no bad ideas, that everybody can just have this freedom of brainstorming to help each other to bring the idea hopefully into reality to benefit all.

Alright, so I hope you enjoyed today’s deep dive on sharing ideas in communication. If you have any ideas or suggestions or anything you would love to share, then please feel free to do so I only ask that you are respectful, kind and supportive. And if you would like to know more about me Here’s what I do, please feel free to visit my website at GraceSOULutions.com That’s GraceSOULutions.com so that you can book a free session strategy session with me on Communication Breakthrough to help you develop a more effective and effortless communication in your personal communication. So, thank you for being here. I look forward to seeing you here again next time. Take care. Bye for now.

Share Ideas | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips. So today’s video is all about Sharing Ideas in your communication. And as you can see, I have a sunflower on my shirt. And that’s why I’m stepping away a little bit today. And there’s a reason for that. So before I talk about or get into the tips of sharing your ideas in communication, I wanted to start with this analogy first.

So when you’re thinking about planting, in this case, a sunflower, you’re going to start off with having a seed. And you’re going to take all the necessary actions to plant the seed so that you can grow the sunflower. So you have the seed, you know, you want to grow the sunflower, so you got the sunflower seed, you planted it into nice soil, you’re watering it, you’re making sure it has enough sunlight, and then hopefully, the sunflower will then grow. Now, you know, in some situations, you might take good care of the soil, you take care of everything, you do all the necessary actions, but perhaps either the sunflower might grow short, or it might not grow at all. And in some situations, some plants and I’m not sure how fast sunflowers grow. But I know like in the case of a bamboo, it takes about five years for the bamboo to start to sprout, till you start to see the little leaves of it. So that’s the idea of planting and growing, say, a plant, and in this case, a sunflower. So now let us stepping closer so you can see me. And it’s the same kind of idea as the idea.

So you know, think about how many ideas may have popped into your head, right? Your mind is like your garden, and you’re not going to plant every idea that comes into your mind. But you– so you’re gonna pick and choose the ideas that you will like, for the idea to grow and become fruitatious. So you have the idea. And you plant the idea that you want in your mind, which is in this case, your garden. And then you start to do all the necessary actions, strategies, whatever it might be, to help the idea grow and become a reality. And in some cases, you might do everything correct and do all the necessary steps. But the idea might be very small, or it may not come into reality. It’s up to you whether or not you want to share your ideas. And just knowing that, in some cases, when you share an idea, you’re going to get feedback. And some of those feedback might be negative. And some of those feedback might be positive, as well as– as you’re doing the process of making your reality or making your idea become a reality. Then you’re also receiving feedback of what’s working and not working at the same time.

So as you are working through the process of the idea, and you’re gaining these feedback, sometimes because the feedback might be negative, just, you know, to help to think about it as I did, you know, brainstorming and everything. And that aspect, don’t try to put all of the process and everything into a negative pot, where then you just say, “Well, I’m just gonna give up on this idea, because obviously, it’s not going to work,” right? So if you’re aware of like the three monkeys where they have like, “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.” I like to use that same type of concept or that– those tips into sharing your idea. And again, whether or not you share your idea to others, you are still always gaining feedback as you’re working through the process. And just realize that some of the steps you do may not help with the idea of becoming a reality. However, that doesn’t mean it’s a stupid step, or that you have a stupid idea. So think of all your ideas as brainstorming. And don’t think of it as you know, “oh, this is a stupid or idiotic idea.” So this is where I like to say when– when it comes to ideas, there are the idea of see no stupid, hear no stupid and speak no stupid, right? I like to say all ideas are just brainstorming. There are no stupid ideas, there might be some ideas that are a bit risky and a bit dangerous. However, if you ask the right questions, you might be able to then counteract and figure out what the safety measures might be.

But if the idea doesn’t come into reality at all, it was never the fact that the idea was stupid. It might just be the fact that, in this case, the idea just was not meant for you. And perhaps a new idea comes along, and is a better one. So again, with any ideas with any planning process, again, it’s come with a mindset that it’s all brainstorming. It’s not about hearing stupid, speaking stupid or seeing stupid. There’s no– again, no such thing as stupid ideas. No such thing as hearing stupid ideas, and no such thing as seeing stupid ideas. It’s all about feedback and working through it. So whatever you can do to help the idea become a reality. And if we can all do that cooperatively, think of how many ideas we can get out there that would benefit others and yourself. And again, if there’s some danger involved or risk involved, well, these are certainly the time to ask some questions, so that you can figure out a way of making it safer.

So I hope you found this to be helpful. Please feel free to share any of your suggestions regarding to sharing your ideas, would love to hear any comments or suggestions that you have. All I ask is that you be respectful, kind and supportive.

If you would like to know more about me and what I do, please feel free to visit my website at Grace SOULutions.com, that’s GraceSOULutions.com. And I look forward to seeing you here again next time at Sensitive Communication Tips. Bye for now. Take care!

Deep Dive on Nurture Feelings | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi, this is Grace and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So today’s video is a deep dive on nurturing feelings. Nurturing feelings of how you talk to yourself, as well as how you talk to others. In the last video, I gave you the acronym, GENTLE, which are each of the tips to help you to nurture the feelings, whether it be you talking to yourself or towards others.

And so some of the tips in the word GENTLE are self explanatory. So for example, G means be Gracious, be kind. So we have a lot of vocabulary words, and you are well aware that some vocabulary words are positive, promote good positive feeling, where other words may promote more of a negative feelings. However are those words are also necessary. But if you use them in a constructive way, a can be used more in a positive messaging, and which nurtures good feelings, whether it be you talking to yourself or to others.

So that leads to Expression in the word GENTLE, expression. Again, in the last video, I talked about how you can use it in a constructive way, rather than in a destructive way. So again, you know, a destructive way might be like, “oh, gosh, I’m such an idiot,” or I, or “oh, gosh, you’re such an idiot for making that mistake.” So again, not helpful, but in a constructive way, you can express your thoughts feelings, again, but in a nurturing way, where it’s constructive. So you might say, you know, “oh, you know, I made this mistake, because I was multitasking, I know better, I, you know, should just focus on one task, take my time with this. And then this would not have happened.” Or talking to another person, you could say, you know, “next time, just focus on this.” And then once when you finish this, then go ahead and work on this. Or, also double check your answer or something. So that it is in a constructive, it’s still firm, not overly aggressive, and known of the real words, that would make the person feel bad.

And then the next step was N, for Nourish, and it means to nourish your mind, body, spirit. So you know, if your mind, body, and spirit is healthy, by you know, having good positive thoughts, feeding your body with good nutritious food, getting plenty of rest and exercise, then you’re going to have a good mind, body, spirit balance, which is going to help reduce stress. Because a lot of times the reason we blow up, and we forget about using good calm voice or positive words, or all of that is because usually if we’re under stress, or we’re feeling overwhelmed, we just want to blow up. So if we are well nourished, in our thoughts, and our body, and our spirit, then we are going to be able to reduce the stress, which will also help us to be more calm, and you know, to talk more positively, more constructive way towards ourselves, as well as towards others.

And then T* I talked about Timeout. So again, pretty self explanatory, you know, just taking nice, deep breaths, to step away from situations at times, because a lot of the times if you’re going to push, push, push, push, push, it’s like pushing against a brick wall, it’s never going to move. So sometimes if you just take some nice deep breaths, you’re getting the, you know, oxygen to the brain. And you’re also able then to calm down, and you might be able to see things differently. And so instead of pushing against the wall, you might see an opening, where you can walk around the wall and get to the other side. And that might be having the other person see your point of view, or it might be you realizing it’s not so important if that person doesn’t see our point of view, as long as we know what we’re doing and what we’re thinking. And so we might just say, “You know what, this might not be worth the argument.” So, taking time out, just again, stepping away, taking some deep, some nice deep breaths will help.

And then L. I mentioned in the last video, it’s about Looking after yourself. And I mentioned that sometimes it is hard to take care of yourself with the tendencies that you would like to take care of others before you take care of yourself. So you put yourself on the back burner. But a lot of the times in order to take care of other people, you have to take care of yourself first, right? If you’re not healthy, then there’s no way that you can take care of another person when you’re not feeling well. So you need to feel well and energetic so that you have that energy to put in and taking care of others. So it’s not selfish, like I mentioned before, it’s not selfish to do self care on your own– on you first. And so and then making sure that when you’re taken care of then taking care of others, by making sure you’re nurturing good communication, the constructive words, whatever it be, so it is in a– moving in a positive direction, so it’s nurtured.

And then E, I mentioned, the last one is to Empower yourself, and Empower others. And you can empower yourself and others by just accepting and acknowledging. And without the judgment of being right or wrong, there’s no right or wrong, everybody has their opinions, and might be different from yours, your viewpoint might be different from another person. And it’s ok because we are an individual. And so we don’t have to think like the other person. And nor do we– we can speak our thoughts. But we don’t have to force the other person to think the way we do. Because everybody has a free will. That means a freedom to choose. And so nobody should take away that freedom, that free will of choice.

So that’s the whole tip. And I know I did some review, again, on the tips for the nurturing feelings. And a lot of the times you might be very critical of you know what you did, you might criti– it’s easy to criticize yourself. And it’s very easy to criticize others, I get it, you know. But with practice, and you know, with using the GENTLE tips that I have provided, remembering the word GENTLE, and going through each of those tips will help to quiet some of that criticism, quiet some of that negative thoughts, that is not constructive. That is not useful. And so we want to nurture feelings in communication, where it is useful. So hopefully, the GENTLE tips will help you to achieve that. So that’s today’s video, it’s all about using the GENTLE tips to nurture feelings. I hope the deep dive helped you to not only, again, receive the review, but also see how the tips can really benefit when nurturing your feelings. Not only when you’re talking to yourself, but also when you’re talking to others to have more of a positive impact that is constructive. And in a way that it can move the conversation forward in a positive way that we’re where you’re able to find the solutions and also when to know to let go so that you’re not again, trying to beat up or push against a wall that is not going to move. So again, I hope you found this to be helpful.

And if you would like to know more about how you can work with me on having an effortless effective communication; Visit my website GraceSOULutions.com. That’s GraceSOULutions.com to see how you can book a free Communication Breakthrough Session. And I look forward to seeing you here again next time.

Thank you for being here and have a great day! Take care, bye!

Nurture Feelings | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace, and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So I just want to do a quick review, because we’re already on the sixth part of COMMUNICATES. So, like I said, in the very beginning of the year that the word COMMUNICATES are broken into different parts.

So just a quick review. So the letter C and COMMUNICATES means Confidence, the O means Opinions, the M, the first M, is Messages or hidden Messages. The second M in COMMUNICATES is Monitor feelings, and then the U is Uncover misunderstandings, and then today for our topic, in COMMUNICATES it’s the N, which means Nurturing feelings. So, you might be asking,

Well, what is the difference between monitor feelings and nurturing feelings? Well, monitoring feelings is when you just realize that, hey, the conversation, there’s something kind of off or the mood had changed, or the feelings in the conversation might have changed. Nurturing feelings in communication, is making sure that you’re saying the kind words, that is, nurturing in a positive way as much as possible. Or if there is a disagreement, then the words that are spoken are in a constructive manner, so that we’re nurturing the conversation in a more positive, constructive way, rather than in a destructive way.

So for the tips that I like to use for nurturing feelings, to make sure that the feelings and the conver– in the conversation are being nurtured, is what I like to use the acronym GENTLE. So if you think about each of the words in GENTLE this might help you to be more constructive, not only to yourself, towards yourself, but towards others, when you’re nurturing conversations and nurturing the feelings in conversations.

So the first letter, the G, for GENTLE means Gracious. So being gracious, just simply means be kind. Use kind words, be kind to yourself and towards others, rather than in a critical or criticizing tone or words. So use kind words, and a constructive tone of voice, when need be, because sometimes not all situations, we can use an uplifting tone. However, we can still be gracious in a disagreement, if we use a constructive tone, direct, fair, but not overly aggressive. So the E, in the word, GENTLE means Expression. So what we mean by that is, even if you have a disagreement, or you felt you did something and you made a mistake, you can still use nice constructive words, to express yourself. And then the N in the word GENTLE means Nourish. Nourish your self, and with others, through use of good thoughts, good words, and nourish yourself so that you can reduce the stress. Because a lot of the times when we get aggressive, or we get sometimes into more of aggression, it’s because maybe perhaps we’re under stress. So we can nourish our mind and nourish our body that will help to reduce the stress, which will then nourish good feelings in a conversation. And then T, Timeout. Sometimes we just might need to just take a timeout, you know, step away from the situation from the conversation, or just take some nice deep breaths, collect our thoughts before continuing on. So that way we can stop ourselves, pause, rather than continue on and on with the argument. It should be if we have a disagreement. And then L means Look after yourself, and then Look after others. So it’s okay to you know, take care of yourself first before taking care of others. You know a lot of us tend to take care of others before taking care of ourselves. However, if you think of it this way, if you are not taken care of, then you won’t be able to take care of others. So it’s okay to take care of yourself first, through good self care, before taking care of others, weighing, you know, as much as you can, and then E for the word GENTLE means Empower. Empower yourself and others. So accept and acknowledge that there are going to be different viewpoints. And that that’s okay, and you can do so without the judgment of it being right or wrong. You know, you can just accept that and acknowledge another person’s point of view that might differ from yours. But you don’t necessarily have to put a judgement of it being right or wrong. And that will help to empower yourself, as well as others because you’re still standing your ground. But you’re also empowering others to say, you’re allowed to have your viewpoint. We might disagree, however, there’s no judgment of I being right or your being right, or I’m wrong, or you’re wrong. There’s none of that. It’s just we’re empowering each other, to allow each of us to speak our viewpoint.

So– So if you think of the word GENTLE, this will help you through the steps through the tips, nurturing your own feelings, and nurturing other people’s feelings that you’re speaking to end with during your conversation. And a lot of the times we’re also speaking to ourselves. And so again, remember gentle when speaking to yourself, especially when you make a mistake. It’s very– it’s very easy to be hypercritical of ourselves. But if we just remember to be gentle, that will also help to nurture the feelings when we speak to ourselves as well.

So I hope you found these tips to be helpful. If you would like to know more about how you can work with me to work with your communication, so that you can express your thoughts, feelings and desires without feeling overwhelmed, overshadowed or being overlooked. Then visit my website GraceSOULutions.com. That’s GRACESOULUTIONS.com to see how you can book a free communication breakthrough session with me. And I look forward to seeing you here again next time at Sensitive Communication Tips. Thank you for being here. Have a great day.

See you next time. Take care. Bye!

Deep Dive on Misunderstanding | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi, Grace here and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So today I want to do a deep dive of misunderstanding and communication. Or what I also like to say is communication breakdown. So one of the speakers that I’ve been studying is Jeanne Robertson. Now, Jeanne Roberson has now passed away, but I still watch her video clips, because she’s a really, for me, I feel she’s a really good public speaker. And she’s also very humorous and which I really love, I love putting in humor. And so in one of the clips in– on the YouTube that I saw, is called, Don’t Send A Man To The Grocery Store. So the reason I like this clip, and I wanted to share a bit about this story that Jeanne Roberson shares– shared is because it has to do with misunderstanding. And misunderstanding in communication doesn’t even have to always be in a verbal form. It also can be in a written form, because after all, communication isn’t always verbal. Sometimes we communicate through written format, or through gestures, or facial expression, body language, through the writing, the speaking. So there’s lots of ways that we communicate. And what captured this was, since we’re talking about miscommunication, I thought this would be a really great example of that. And a though it’s not in a verbal format, it was in a written format. But it still, I feel, portrays it very nicely.

So Jeanne Robertson, basically, in the clip, and I’m just going to summarize it, but again, you can watch it on YouTube, and she tells it– the way she tells it is so wonderful. And it’s hilarious. And like I say, she’s a really, in my opinion, a really great public speaker. And again, some thing that that I would like to– I’m learning, and hopefully one day I can be almost as good as Jeanne Robertson because she has a really good high standard. Anyway, not to digress on that.

So basically, Jeanne is, you know, sending her husband now to the grocery store, because she wants to bake a cake. So she’s from the south. And down in the south, if somebody is sick, a friend, family member who’s sick, or has passed on, they bake something, they make something to show comfort or show support to their friend or to the family members of that has had a family member that passed on. So when she sent her husband to the grocery store, her husband also had something that he wanted to do, I think he wanted to play a badminton game or something like that. So he goes, Okay, I’ll go to the store. As long as I can go into the Express Checkout. That way I can get into things quickly and still make it to the game or what have you.

She’s like, Okay, fine. So she wrote up the list of items for her husband and everything, and she sends him away. And like I said, I’m summarizing basically what she shared on the YouTube again, you can watch the full story, the full clip on YouTube. And again, it’s called Don’t Send A Man To The Grocery Store. So basically summarizing it all up, he comes back, and it’s taken a while. So she was about to call the grocery store to say like, is my husband still there to even show up, you know, but she figured maybe he wanted a badminton game. Lo and behold, he comes home and he’s bringing up all these bags of grocery stores. I mean, bringing all these bags of items that he bought from the grocery store. And she’s like wondering, okay, so she looks in the first bag. Okay, there’s the pound of butter. She looks in that second bag, and she’s like, there’s two gigantic bottles of vanilla extract. And then she looks in the other bag, and there’s like three dozen eggs and she’s like going, why are there three dozen eggs? I just need a dozen eggs because I just need just five eggs to bake this cake. And then she looks in another bag and there’s like 12 pounds of shortening of lard. So now she’s like she says in a fourth bag. This is where she finds the list that she had given to her husband. And basically she had one It was one pound of butter, no problem. And two, next to number two, she had a large bottle, vanilla extract. And then three, she wrote down a dozen eggs. However, when she looked in the bag, like, you know, there were two large vanilla extract and three dozen eggs. So and four, it was four cans of shortening. So therefore she got instead of one can have, there’s just a shortening, she got four cans of it. And then now she looked at number five, and she saw Okay, so she– her husband’s still getting stuff from the trunk. And then she goes, I bet you, he’s gonna bring up 25 pounds of sugar. And sure enough, there were five pounds of sugar, 25 pounds of sugar. And then for six, it was now because it was a pound of all purpose flour. So now she got a total of 30 pounds of flour. And then she knew so and the way she says is, is this when this understanding, but she didn’t say in this way, but I’m, I’m gonna just say because it’s we’re talking about misunderstanding, she says sometimes she knows when to harp it on, which means to kind of talk it through, we’ll talk about it, and sometimes when to let it ride. And this time, she said she let him ride.

So she hid the list behind her back and knew that her husband, and she didn’t want the big liters of Seven Up, she wanted the cans, the medium cans size. So she knew that she was going to get 42 cans of Seven Up. And she didn’t say anything. And her husband just says, you know, got everything on the counter, what have you and he’s like, I’m going to my Badminton– badminton game. And then he turned around, I think, and he actually didn’t acknowledge that he couldn’t go through the express lane. But by the time the bleep the cashier had checked him out. And everything when she started checkout in those Seven Up bottles, that’s when he realized what he had done.

Basically, she had written it out, like 1,2,3,4, these are the items I needed, there are seven items. And that way it will make it easier for him to know what items and– and to go through the Express Checkout. But he misunderstood and took like, I need one of these, two of these, three of these, you know, and all these are, so misunderstanding can occur.

And Jeanne Robertson says her husband is left brain, very smart, he has all these degrees. And yet he still made a mistake. Misunderstood how to– how she wanted the list. You know, it wasn’t like she needed one of these two to have it, was just us listing out the items. So, again, a learning experience. And again, the way she said it is, you know, when things happen, either sometimes she’ll harp it on, you know, talk her through whatever it is, you know, and then sometimes she’ll just let it ride. And sometimes, you know, that’s what happens with this understanding. In this case, she’s, she let it ride. And, and she, you know, the way she’s presented as also in a very humorous way, right. And sometimes when misunderstandings happen, sometimes it’s okay to have humor, you know, laugh it off, let it go, let it ride, as she says. And then sometimes, if it’s serious, where we need to acknowledge, we need to accept that this has happened, either, you know, if we know that we were responsible for we just say, Okay, this happened, I realized this happened and I made a mistake. You know, in this case, her husband did kind of acknowledge, you know, he did turn you know, to his wife and say, you know, I realized my mistake, but by that time the cashier has already checked out. So, you know, just started to finish number seven of checking out the Seven Up bottles when he realized the mistake but by that time, it’s kind of too late.

And, you know, he did say the people behind him were all laughing and everything but you know, it happens. So sometimes again, depending upon the severity, you know, or how serious the misunderstanding is, sometimes we can laugh it off and just say: Well, it happened and it’s okay, we know next time, or sometimes we just acknowledge what had happened and just say, you know, a misunderstanding occurred. And this is what we can do next time to try to prevent it, or what we– or what we ourselves can do to make sure it doesn’t happen. And again, it might be just not jumping to conclusions. So that might be one of the ways. It might be next time we learn to just listen.

Again, like I mentioned in the last video, just to listen, and not listen, with needing to respond or reply quickly, will help. And perception. Clearly this example, with what happened with Jeanne, when, you know, she shared her story, that clearly this was a perception, you know, she was listing the items and her husband perceived, like, these are the number of items that she needed for the thing that she had listed. So sometimes, you know, if you’re not sure, you can always clarify, this is where you could say, I’m understanding it this way is it, you know, meant to be like this? Sometimes just asking for, like, clarification, don’t be of you know, embarrassed or, you know, because that might save you a lot of hassle later on. So, again, misunderstanding can and– it can happen verbally. But it can also happen in clearly in this case, in a written format. And you think it’s so simple, but things can go astray sometimes. And you know, it’s okay, so. So just learn from it. And sometimes, you know, let it ride and sometimes you might just need to discuss, discuss it through.

So I hope you found these tips to be helpful, and that it’s okay to you know, have misunderstandings occur, but just also realize it’s a learning experience, and to be able to repair the communication breakdowns. So, I hope you found this to be helpful. Again, if you’d like to know more about how to work with me, then please visit my website Gracesoulutions.com GRACSOULUTIONS.com to see how you can book a FREE Communication Breakthrough Session with me so that you can learn how to repair misunderstandings and repair communication breakdowns if it happens to you. And so thank you for being here. And I look forward to seeing you here next time at Sensitive Communication Tips.

Thanks again. Take care, bye!

Uncovering Misunderstanding | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi, Grace here and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips!

So today’s tips has to do with misunderstanding or uncovering misunderstanding in a conversation, also known as communication breakdown. So every single one of us has had some encounter of communication breakdown or misunderstanding and a communication. It has happened to me. And it has happened to some of the best business people such as Richard Branson, and Oprah Winfrey, and Jack Canfield. You name it, we’ve all have had that problem. I’m sure you have, I have, everybody.

So why there’s communication breakdown happening, why are there sometimes misunderstanding in a communication? Well, one has to deal with perception. And I like to use this example as the word service. Now we all know the basic meaning of the word service. However, the feeling behind that word, or how we feel about that word, we– it’s our own our own perception of it. So some people might view the word service, as serving, as you know, I work hard, I give you what you want, so that you can pay me for it. And so it becomes more of a work relationship where I’m working, I’m serving you, so I can get some income. So it becomes more of a work labor kind of feeling. Where some people use the word service, as in, I’m sharing my experience, I’m sharing my excitement, or I’m sharing my joy, or I’m sharing my education with you, in a way to serve you in a way as a service. So that we can both enjoy. So we’re learning from each other, where I am sharing with you my experience, you’re sharing some of your experience, you’re sharing some of your enjoyment, or whatever it is with me as I am with you. So as a service becomes more of a sharing experience, to create some of the joy hopefully, and some of the experience could be just an educational experience where you’re learning from one another. And so that perception, or that feeling of that word, then is different. Because now you’re feeling like, you know, even if it’s not a great experience, but I learned something from it, or the other person learned something from me. So that’s a different perception, or a different feeling of the word service, from somebody who feels it’s more work labor intensive. So just that word itself, again, we know the basic meaning, but the perception, the feeling, the how we– how each person feels about that work can be different. And so when we hear somebody says– say, oh, you know, you know, it’s important to provide customer service, it can present a different perception to that person on how one person hears that sentence of, we need to provide customer service, great customer service, one person might say, Yeah, I believe in that. And one person might say, I already do a lot of work, how much more do I need to give? So again, that has to deal with perception.

The second reason or might be a communication breakdown or misunderstanding is that it just happens. You know, not everything we do is always going to work out that in that includes communication, not everything we say, will make sense to the other person. And vice versa. Not everything that person says to us is going to make sense and creating some of that misunderstanding. And that’s okay and realize that it’s okay. And take that as a learning opportunity of what you can do or will– for what that person can do to best repair misunderstandings or when communication breakdown happens. Take it as a learning opportunity, the best way to deal with it, and what you can or what the other person can do to help to move the conversation forward.

And then the third is, listen. A lot of the times many people you know, including myself, sometimes we don’t actually listen, we listen to reply or to respond to the other person, rather than just to Listen, and just process what the person is saying. And then if there’s something we want– want to reply to just take a moment just to process, you know, if I say this, how would the person take it? Would the person understand? Am I leading to more more understanding? Or if, if I’m processing and I want to reply, respond quickly, then perhaps I’m missing out. And I’m maybe jumping to conclusion, which could lead to more misunderstanding. So sometimes it’s just okay, just to listen, and not feel that you have to listen in a way that you have to reply or respond or reply quickly.

So hopefully, you found these tips to be helpful. So again, just a quick review, so three things have– three tips to help you to uncover or repair some of those communication misunderstanding is one just realize perception, two acknowledge that sometimes communication breakdown can happen, misunderstandings can happen and just make sure that you understand that, you know, it’s not a complete failure, that this is an opportunity to learn. And then three, the third is listen.

Alright, so I hope you found these tips to be helpful in uncovering misunderstandings or to repair misunderstandings, repair the communication breakdown. So if you found these tips to be helpful, and you would like to learn more about me how you can work with me how you can book that FREE communication breakthrough session with me, then please visit my website, Gracesoulutions.com. That’s GRACESOULUTIONS.com. And I look forward to seeing you here next time at Sensitive Communication Tips, we will– where we will take a deeper dive into misunderstandings and communication where I’ll provide a really quick, hopefully a quick story about it. So that way, you can see how misunderstandings can happen at any time. And sometimes, you know, how to best move forward either with some humor or you know, acknowledgement of some sort.

So, anyway, I look forward to seeing you here again next time. Thank you for being here. And take care. Bye for now!

Deep Dive on Monitoring Feelings | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace, and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So in the last video, I talked about how to monitor feelings. And I provided four tips of how to monitor the feelings. I used the acronym MOOD, M for Movement, O for Oh, the look, O for Oh, the face, and D – Declaration, the tone of voice. So today, in this video, we’re going to just do a little bit of a deep dive of MOOD to monitor feelings.

So, again, we’re pretty good about perhaps looking at a general picture of looking at the body movement, or perhaps the eye contact, the facial expressions and the tone of voice. But there could be like minor details that we might miss, like the subtle movement of the body of changing. Like, perhaps the arms were open, and now they’re crossed. Perhaps the eye contact, you know, in some cultures, you know, it’s not good to make eye contact, it’s disrespectful in some cultures to make eye contact, say, with the elders, because of the line of the superiority or the authority figure. And there’s a, an understood, meaning or an understood, what do I want to say, rules of how to interact with our elders.

And then, of course, the facial expression is a little bit hard to see, perhaps that tension in the neck, you know, unless you’re looking really carefully and you see a bit of a tension in the jaw line or in the neck area, if somebody is now displeased with the information that is being shared, or they’re feeling a little bit discomfort with it. And then the tone of voice. Some people even though they may be upset with what is being said, or what they hear, they are still able to keep their tone of voice in a neutral position, they don’t necessarily show their displeasure.

So it’s these little minor details that can kind of make it a little bit challenging to decide if the person all of a sudden is reacting to what is being said. And now, because of what they’ve heard. Now the mood has shifted for them, as far as, you know, how they’re now engaging, in the conversation. So some of this takes practice, and also knowing who you are speaking to. So, you know, the more you know that person who you are speaking to, then you perhaps can read their body language a little bit easier, you can tell a little bit more about how they’re looking at you, or the subtle tone of voice. You– Because you know that person, well, you may be able to pick up some of these minor details better because of having all the experience with that person. So it might be easier to detect the mood of the person when you know them well.

And then you know, the person that you are– who you’re speaking to who don’t know, you, or the person who’s speaking to you may not know you, well, may might not be able to pick up some of these subtle changes in order to monitor the mood or monitor the feelings in the conversation. However, we have instinct, you know, we are very good at sometimes at picking up instinct. And we might have some intuition, like something may not be right. So if your gut is telling you something where you have that instinct, like, you know, I feel like something might be off, you’re probably right. I’m going to say 99 Perhaps 100% of the time you are— you’re probably right if you suspect or you have that gut feeling like something has changed.

So if something you feel is off, you know, don’t be afraid to address it. Say, you know, I feel like all of a sudden if something is not quite right, did I say something wrong? Or, you know, can– you know, something is just different. So, you know, sometimes if you just point it out like, you know, I feel like something has changed, you know, was it something I said or, you know, has something been picked up wrong, you know, and the person might feel okay to share it and they might just say no, everything is fine. But you can sense that something is not. So you can either try to pursue it if you want, or if it’s not that important, you can just drop it and then perhaps just move on to a different topic. Right?

So with conversation, you know, the tricky part of it is sometimes when the mood changes, and it could be changed for the positive, right, if you’re having a serious discussion and everything, and somebody always has some say– says something, and it makes it light hearted, where maybe you laugh, or the group laughs or something, and then everybody starts to relax. And all of a sudden, what became really serious, rigid, now becomes more relaxed, more friendly. And then the other way, it can also happen where everybody was relaxed, and somebody said something, and now all of a sudden, it changed. And now the dynamic of the group, or the dynamic of the conversation with that person now has altered to something perhaps more rigid.

And again, it just depends on how well you know the person how comfortable you are, and just addressing it, and trying then to move on, or is it better sometimes just to say it, but it’s not that important that we can drop it, and then, you know, move on to something else, so that we can always try to have that effective and effortless communication. So that’s my take on monitoring feelings in the conversation. However, you might have your own strategies. And if you do, I would love for you to share what you do, and what helps you to monitor your feelings. Because, again, you know, it’d be great if all of us worked together, and working on having more effective and effortless communication. So that way, we all can have a more positive experience in conversation and communication. It’d be great if we can create a more positive and effortless communication and effective communication and conversations in our lives. And so that we are creating a more positive outcome, rather than having a conflict and also having ways to resolve the conflicts.

So again, if you found this to be helpful, please feel free to visit my website at GraceSOULutions.com That’s GraceSOULutions.com. To see about how you can book a FREE Communication Breakthrough Session with me. Again, I’m here to help all the introverted, sensitive, conflict-phobic women to be able to communicate effortlessly and effectively in their communication so that you are more confident in sharing your message so that you are heard, seen and recognized and be able to repair any communication breakdown.

Thank you for being here. Take care, and I’ll see you here next time. Bye for now!

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then Contact me here and I’ll get you started on the right path.

Warm regards,
Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

Monitoring Feelings | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace, and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So today, it’s all about Monitoring Feelings. So the tips I’m going to provide to you today is all about monitoring feelings. Have you ever encountered a situation where you might be talking to a person or to a group of people, and all of a sudden, somebody had said something, or you said something, or the person said something and all of a sudden the communication, the situation shifted from maybe perhaps a happy, pleasant, relaxed mood, all of a sudden, something has been said, and the person, either you or the other person or group of people, are reacting? And that has now shifted the conversation, the mood of the conversation.

So today, what I would like to do is provide you four tips on how to monitor feelings, because after all, some of us are really good at monitoring feelings, right? In a conversation, where we see something has shifted, and we can sense the feeling, perhaps that the mood of the conversation has now changed. And some of us are, might not be really good at looking at the mood or monitoring feelings of this conversation, we might just continue on, we might sense something but we just continue on as, while the person or a group of people might be reacting. And so the mood is now getting more perhaps deeper into that negative feeling. And the person is not quite aware of it. And so it just continues on into a more snowball effect until things maybe perhaps blow up.

So four tips on how to monitor feelings, and actually, I put it into the acronym MOOD, because after all, when we are monitoring feelings, we are talking about the mood of the conversation. So that’s why I thought well, we can use the acronym MOOD to help us to monitor feelings.

Alright, so starting with the letter M, which stands for movement. So perhaps if you become observe it you can look at the person’s body, or perhaps whoever you’re speaking to, you know, is it a person or to a group, look at the body movements, you know, was it relaxed, and everything, and all of a sudden, somehow, some people’s body movement now are becoming more rigid? Or was that somebody, it was a very serious conversation, everybody was really rigid, and somebody made a comment that made everybody laugh, to help everybody to relax. So we can change the mood. And we can sense the mood changing by looking at the body movement, either from relaxed to rigid, or perhaps in a situation rigid to relaxed. Alright, so that’s M.

Now with the letter O, one of the letters for O is , Oh, the look. So that would be eye contact. So perhaps, you know, everybody was really engaged in what the topic was, the person is speaking there, you know, and you’re engaged with them. So eye contact is great. All of a sudden, somebody says something. And either the eye contact could be from relaxed to a glare. Or it could be that they’re now withdrawing. And so now they’re going to look away, because now they may, perhaps they’re reacting or not comfortable anymore of what was being said. So now instead of looking and staying engaged, perhaps now they’re looking away. So eye contact can also be an indicator, perhaps of a mood change.

The second O: Oh, the face. Again, facial expression. You know, perhaps a person had a relaxed look on their face. And now all of a sudden, they might react to what was being said, and now they would have a stern look. And perhaps, it could be the other way around. The person said something and you reacting to it, you might go from a smile relaxed face, all of a sudden to a very stern, straight face. So looking at the facial expression, the muscles on the face, can be an indicator of a shift in the mood of the conversation of the feeling and the conversation of what is being discussed.

What is being shared, and then D: declaration of the tone of the voice. So perhaps a person had a light tone had a pleasant tone had a calming tone. And now all of a sudden, their tone of voice might be a little bit more serious. Or they might say, Okay, this is what I think so or perhaps it was very serious. And again, to lighten up the mood, the person might kind of jokingly say something like, “Well, you know, it could be like this.” And then that helps to bring other people to be in a more lighthearted moment in that conversation as well.

So, again, somehow, sometimes when we’re engaging in conversation, the mood of the conversation can change, depending upon how the person is reacting, or perhaps how you are reacting to the information that’s being shared.

And sometimes we can detect the mood of the conversation being changed by using these four tips to monitor feelings, and that is Movement, Oh the eyes, Oh the face for the facial expression, and then D, the Declaration of tone of voice that’s being used. And then we can, once we are aware of the mood of the conversation, how it’s being changed, we can try and we can attempt to redirect it so that it doesn’t snowball into something that gets worse, that we can adjust so that the conversation can still continue to flow in an effortless and effective way.

So I hope this helped. If you found the tips to be helpful, please feel free to visit my website gracesoulutions.com that’s gracesoulutions.com to see how you can book a Communication Breakthrough Session with me so I can help you to have more of a– an effective and effortless communication with whoever you’re speaking to and whatever situation you are speaking and thank you for being here. I look forward to seeing her again next time.

Take care, bye for now!

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then Contact me here and I’ll get you started on the right path.

Warm regards,
Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

Deep Dive On Hidden Messages | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, Grace here. Welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So in the previous video, I talked about hidden messages. So in this video, I want to do more of a deep dive of hidden messages. Now in the previous video, I talked about some tips to kind of help you to navigate with people who might use hidden messages when they communicate, such as what is the rationale for the question or the statement that is being used? What is their eye contact/body language? How has it changed, when they’re being more direct versus when there’s a hidden message to it, and the tone of voice. How has the tone of voice changed from being direct to more of that hidden message? And as always, the easiest way to navigate with the hidden message is to Keep It Short and Simple (KISS).

So I’d like to use myself as an example, about how to navigate hidden messages. So like I told you, in a previous video, I grew up in a Chinese family, I’m Chinese. So we tend to use a lot of hidden messages when communicating.

My husband is from Scotland, he Scottish. And when his family communicates, they’re very direct, they don’t have any hidden messages. What they say what they ask is exactly that meeting. So when my husband and I got married, at that time, we were living in Scotland, I had the opportunity to work in Scotland. So that’s how I met my husband. And I lived there for a couple of years. And so during that time, I visited my family, here in the US and also in Canada.

So during one of our visits my aunt had asked my husband, would you ever consider moving to– to the US? And beforehand, I had already forewarned my husband that when he answers any questions or make– pick or make any statement with my family, he really needs to think about it. Because what he says, the family is going to decode his meaning. So I have had a feeling that my family would ask the question about if my husband would ever consider moving to the US. Because in my culture, you know, it’s not so much expected. But you know, it is being taught from generation to generation, you know, to take care of your elderly, right? And so, my parents, my aunts, and uncles, they took care of their parents. And so, you know, and I think that’s wonderful. So I, of course, would like to do the same with my parents. So at that time, my husband and I, we had just gotten married, and we were visiting my family, like I said, and my aunt had asked a question.

Now my aunt wasn’t just asking a question, like, “Would you ever consider moving to US?” What she was actually asking was, “would you consider, you know, moving to the, to the US, because, you know, you will need to help Grace and taking care of Grace’s parents,” because I’m an only child. So I don’t have any siblings. So the question was asked by my aunt, if my husband would consider moving to the US, but the underlying message was, would you be willing to help Grace take care of her parents? So, you know, my husband, because I had prepped him for this, he gave the response short and simple. “Um, you know, of course, any move is big, but of course, you know, we would discuss it, we will consider it and if need be, we will plan it. And then, you know, together we will make that decision when the time comes.”

So the underlining message then to my aunt is, you know, yes, it’s a big move, but, you know, when the time comes, we would definitely look at it and if maybe, yes, you know, I will be willing to come to the US to help Grace and take care of Grace’s parents with her. So, you know, where, when my in-laws, when my husband’s parents, you know, had asked, you know,
would you consider just, you know, ever staying here in Scotland? They were actually just asking, you know, how do I let you know, how do I like Scotland, you know, and how well am I adapting, you know, and type of thing. There was no other hidden message in there like to say, Well, would you consider this or anything? They were just asking like, how was I adapting? How are you adapting to Scotland? Very simple, because I’m not from there, you know, there might be some differences, and how was I getting along with it? So, it was a very direct question. And so there was no hidden meaning behind it. It was just what was asked was how it was asked, if that makes sense. So where my family, when they ask you a question that is not that meaning of that question. There’s a hidden message to those questions. And also, if any statement that is being made, it’s not the statement, there’s a hidden message in that statement.

So if you think that, you know, this style of communication is complicated, exhausting, you’re correct, it can be. But again, you know, everybody has a different communication styles, and, you know, it’s just part of life. And so, you get used to it, and then you kind of decide, well, there are some ways you can also maybe have some fun with it.

So anyway, um, hopefully, by hearing some of these examples, or hearing this example that I just shared today will help you to at least understand the hidden messages and hopefully also understand, you know, how you can navigate through hidden messages in the comm– in the communication in the conversation. So again, I hope you found this to be helpful, and if you did, please visit my website GraceSOULutions.com that’s gracesoulutions.com to learn more about me, and how I can help you to develop more effective and effortless communication.

If you are a sensitive, introverted conflict phobic woman who would like to be able to share your thoughts, feelings and desires so that you are seen, heard and recognized. Again, visit my website to see how you can book a FREE communication breakthrough session with me.

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then Contact me here and I’ll get you started on the right path.

Warm regards,
Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

Hidden Messages | Sensitive Communication Tips

Hi there, this is Grace, and welcome to Sensitive Communication Tips.

So today’s topic is about hidden messages. And you might understand what I mean by hidden messages, depending upon your culture, your background, how your family communicated. So in my family, which happens to be Chinese, we use a lot of hidden messages.

So what do I mean by that? Well, someone might make a statement. But there is a hidden message behind that statement. Here is an example. My cousin, she is a year older than me. And so we went to the middle school and high school together, but she was a year ahead of me in classes. And so my aunt would ask my mom, so how is Grace doing in this class, because my cousin had went through it before. And my mom would say, oh, Grace is doing well with it, you know, and my aunt will make a statement and say, Oh, it was so hard, you know, I hear the teacher’s really difficult, but, you know, Nancy really excelled. And so she was making a statement, but the hidden messages, like, I’m sure Grace is doing well, but probably not as better as my daughter. Um, so you know, because in my culture, there’s also a lot of competition.

So, even though my aunt wouldn’t have straight out and said, you know, look, I think my daughter is better than your daughter academic wise. Um, and there is that hidden message where my aunt makes certain statements to my mom. And my mom understands it, you know, because my mom is also using these hidden statements as a reply. So sometimes what you hear may not necessarily be the straight out statement, there might be some hidden meaning behind those statements.

So how can you tell? Or how do you read these hidden messages? One is that you can look at the rationale, what is the rationale for the question, or the statement being made? You know, in the example, my cousin and myself, um, the rationale was that, you know, my aunt was trying to compete, and you know, trying to say, you know, I think my daughter’s better, in academics than your daughter, and my mom was like, you know, what, her reply was, you know, I don’t mind your daughter being better, I’m not in this competition with you.

So there was this sort of hidden messages going back and forth with what was being said, the other thing to look out is, you know, eye contact and body language. Now, in Asian culture, Chinese, Japanese, you know, it, it’s not polite to just straight out and do eye contact, right? But here in the US, from my schooling, and you know, from social skills with my peers, and everything, you know, they stress that it’s important to make eye contact, right? So you can also look at how they’re making eye contact, you know, is it kind of like a sly look? Or is it straight to your face type of look, so you can kind of tell some of their hidden messages by how the person is looking at you, the way their body posture, so the body language part of it.

And then the third is also look at the tone of voice. You know, when my aunt made some of her comments, her tone of voice was a little bit– not what her normal talking voice would be. So, you know, she might say, you know, instead of like, today is Thursday, she might say, Oh, my daughter, you know, and had this same teacher that, you know, Grace had, and, you know, from what I hear, so her tone of voice was a little bit different, when she was trying to make that little bit of a hidden message there. And so to combat, if you’re in that situation of hidden messages, and you just don’t want to engage in it, because it can be quite exhausting, you know, trying to go back and forth and trying to figure out what this person really means and what’s their motive and all this other stuff.

One of the best ways to combat that is just to keep it simple and short, use the KISS method. And that’s what I’ve noticed with my mom, if she didn’t really want to engage in that slide competition or something, she would just keep it short and simple. She’ll just say, Yes, Grace has that teacher. Grace is doing well. And so there was nothing more than she would add. So after a while my aunt then would drop it because obviously she could tell from what my mom’s reply is, and everything that, my mom wasn’t going to engage in that hidden message type of situation with my aunt. So, um, so sometimes you might encounter people that are not so direct, you know, they don’t really mean what they say, right? They might have some hidden messages in that statement that they are sharing, or there’s a hidden message to– as to why they’re asking those questions. So again, you can just tell perhaps by thinking about the rationale for it, their eye contact, body language, how it might change when they’re doing that hidden message, and also their tone of voice. And then if you just want to not be part of that hidden message, because it can be exhausting, then keep it simple and short, use the KISS method.

Alright, I hope you found these tips to be helpful in understanding about hidden messages and communication. If you found the tips to be helpful, please visit my website at GraceSOULutions.com. That’s gracesoulutions.com To learn more about me and what I do to help sensitive, introverted conflict phobic women, to be able to communicate their thoughts, feelings and desires so that they are seen, heard and recognized. So if that sounds like you, please visit my website to see how I can help you develop more effective and effortless communication. I look forward to seeing you here again next time at Sensitive Communication Tips. Thank you for being here. Take care. See you next time. Bye!

If you are driven to communicate with confidence, have your messages, be heard and understood, and repair any communication breakdown in your personal communication relationship, then Contact me here and I’ll get you started on the right path.

Warm regards,
Grace CW Liu
Communication Navigator
W: GraceSOULutions.com

ABOUT GRACE

Grace CW Liu believes there is a solution to every problem including communication and conversation problems. Everyone can find the solution they seek by using the guidance of grace that is in you, with the grace of spiritual support, and Grace –me– as your Communication Navigator and support system.

My passion is to help sensitive, conflict-phobic, and introverted women have effective communication so they feel valued and heard in any conversation.

Through studying and observations, I’ve realized why communication breakdown occurs and the solutions to solving those problems. I’ve presented these solutions so that communicative partners can achieve effective communication!

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